Tag Archives: writing

See Me Sparks a Last Place Spot

10 Saturday Dec 2016

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I recently finished reading Nicholas Sparks’ second newest novel See Me. Though I consider myself a big Sparks fan, I did not enjoy this story nearly as much as his other books. Seeing him write a story with a greater thriller aspect showed a range in his talents, but the story didn’t get as deep as usual.

The characters were in their mid twenties like me, and I wouldn’t have guessed that. Colin attending college classes gives him a younger aspect, but Maria didn’t seem to hold many similarities to me or any of my friends my age. Unlike most of us, she got right into a good career track and in law, a tough field. To top off the two dimensional characters, the suspense had hit and miss elements. The mystery itself for the stalker had its strength and would have fit into the thriller genre as far as I can tell since I don’t read many books in that genre. However, it took multiple paragraphs to get to an assailant sneaking up to Maria. Even I knew the forthcoming action and didn’t feel added suspense waiting those extra descriptive paragraphs just for the actual event.

I still enjoyed the book and still love Sparks. This book just might rank last in all the ones I’ve read. I suppose one has to land there. It shows Sparks can flex his writing muscles in genres outside love stories, and it demonstrated the power of a close knit family (Maria’s) and how people and look out for and comfort each other.

Homecoming: Coming Home to a New City

15 Saturday Oct 2016

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Most high schools and universities celebrate Homecoming during October, while wearing formal attire at some places (and my dream recreations of it). I’ve never attended a homecoming event as an alumni, but I’ve never been far from my old schools in Missouri either. This year I’ve moved far away and miss the cities of my youth. My high school friends have even invited me to join them for our group’s latest game night get together. Unfortunately I won’t attend this round, but I know I’ll make my way back there soon. For now I’m building a new home.

Feeling like I’ve got a foundation for my new home has taken a while. I temporarily live with my dad after having an apartment to myself for six years, and I live 13 hours away by car from my closest friends (with the exception of my close cousin who has continuously welcomed me here). Mostly, I’ve learned I have to get out there myself to get plugged into places and communities where I can find activities and friends. Unfortunately it takes a while at a time when I could really use a friend, but the efforts start to pay off.

After visiting several churches, I’ve found one I’ve enjoyed enough to give a long term  try. I have found one more that I want to visit as well, and I sense that I’m close to deciding my new church home. That makes me feel like I can find a niche to use my gifts. That may mean trying a group or two again, yet I’m closer already. A lot of the churches here have good ESL programs since Houston has such a diverse population when it comes to first languages. Most places have devotions or handouts as well that give me potential venues for writing.

To make myself reach out a little more and have a bit of a long term goal and involvement, I’ve started a book club. So far it’s a small group since I don’t know many people, but they’re a part of my new home. I can share my love for books outside the shelves within my own walls. I’m getting out there, I’m getting involved, I’m building a home.

Then I can go back to my other for a homecoming event and have a new experience for coming home.

14 Friday Oct 2016

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As of today, it’s been 90 years since Winnie the Pooh first hit the shelves. It’s already been 18 years since I saw the bear that inspired it all in New York City and 8 since I walked Pooh Sticks Bridge in England. I can’t determine how many years those stories have inspired me to write. Most of my first stories revolved around Pooh Bear, including one where he met the orca Willy. The stories and drawings still make me smile and still remind me of my writing passion.

I haven’t written as much as I’d like lately (aside from my nearly daily journaling), and I want to push back my reservations. Yet a lot of stories and ideas continue to stir in my mind. Some have made it to written form in notes, yet I continue to fear rejection of them. I need to remember the personalities and stories I see in the bears and people in my own life have value and can inspire someone else the way Pooh and A.A. Milne have inspired me. Milne looked at a stuffed animal and saw a personality and a story. While that may sound silly, he created a beloved character that has stood the test of time. Other people may not understand the process, but they just may enjoy the final product. Here’s to pushing forward to a final product!

 

…NaNoWriMo starts in just over two weeks and provides some encouragement to write regularly. And a lot. I’d like to push myself harder toward cranking out a whole story this time even if just to practice and let some ideas flow.

The Little Paris Bookshop and The Big Structure Workshop

09 Monday May 2016

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Yesterday I finished reading Nina George’s novel The Little Paris Bookshop, and for the first time I gave fewer than three stars to a book on Goodreads. While the story had some insight into loss and the healing power of books, it had no strength. This came from a lack of structure. I pointed to Jean finding Manon, additionally letting go of his lost love in the process, as the overarching story goal. Yet even he didn’t seem to pursue that objective very strongly. He went on a mostly aimless adventure and made friends along the way. The added characters provided some color, but the lack of transition from scene to scene did not. Those poor people had no foundation upon which to stand.

This reminded me of how I ought to adjust the pursuit of some of my goals. Not having set times and strategies for tasks like job hunting and novel writing made it take even longer to get started, let alone see my desired progress. If I tightened my strategies with definitive times rather than as soon as I can, I could see better results. My high aims for my routine, my writing, my career and my life can stand better on a solid structure. It also would make it easier for others to grasp beneficial ideas and insight from my structure and what’s built into it.

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#Write_On: Letter 3

17 Sunday Apr 2016

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Egg Press and Hello!Lucky promote National Letterwriting Month through their Write_On Challenge. They even sent me a card kit to get me started on more letters and included a zine for inspiration. The zine has 30 ideas for letters, and I’d like to give those prompts a whirl here.

The third letter is to thank “someone whose good work may go unnoticed.” I’d like to thank the friendly and efficient workers at Mid-Continent Public Library.

Dear Mid-Continent Public Library Staff,

I’ve recently been into three of your branches for various events and personal ventures and have been graced by your presence accompanied by the shelves of books and movies every time. In particular, I’d like to thank the woman who guided me to Anthony Clark’s storytelling class last weekend when I got a little lost. You saw me and kindly offered help; then you went even further to walk me to the room and talk with me along the way to make me feel welcome. That eased my nerves and got me even more excited about accepting a course offered by your library. I’d also like to thank the woman who gave me my mug for completing the Winter Reading Challenge. It felt good to accomplish (and exceed) a goal and then to get a reward for it. I love that you guys are doing that for adults as well as for children.

Thank you all for your work and for giving the library an even warmer vibe with your presence. You make the library a place I always want to visit again to introduce me to new insights through the books and classes and people.

Love  Always,

Kayla

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#Write_On Challenge: Letter 2

02 Saturday Apr 2016

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Egg Press and Hello!Lucky promote National Letterwriting Month through their Write_On Challenge. They even sent me a card kit to get me started on more letters and included a zine for inspiration. The zine has 30 ideas for letters, and I’d like to give those prompts a whirl here.

Letter 2 is a letter to my future self:

Dear Kayla,

I hope this note finds you doing well. I want to remind you of the good in your life thus far and encourage you to keep focused on that good. The continued shift in focus helps you grow and fulfill your dreams and purpose.

By now I’m sure you’ve found your name in print another time or two, maybe even finished one of those books. If not, keep working on them. Dedicate a regular time each day or week to write. Those projects are worthwhile. I know how happy you felt as you began that young adult novel and spent Sunday afternoons at the library with Sheila. That, your children’s novel about Kensia and your hero idea all have potential. That depth you put in the pages through genuinely sharing your imagination and experience create hope and inspiration.

Keep up your work and don’t let those doubts in your head have any validation. They only come from voices who spoke curses or lies over you. Your words have a purpose, and they will find their way out.

I hope the rest of your life is going well also. You have so much going for you. Whatever you chose to pursue for school and career in terms of counseling and teaching, I hope you find fulfillment in your job and that it has the right balance of writing and engagement with people and ideas. Best of luck in all your endeavors. I love you more than you know.

Love Always,

Kayla

#Write_on: Letter 1

01 Friday Apr 2016

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Egg Press and Hello!Lucky promote National Letterwriting Month through their Write_On Challenge. They even sent me a card kit to get me started on more letters and included a zine for inspiration. The zine has 30 ideas for letters, and I’d like to give those prompts a whirl here.

The first letter is a thank you note to someone you see every day. As there aren’t many people I see every day, the people who first come to mind are my co-workers at Target. This one goes out to my teammate Chris.

Dear Chris,

I want to write a quick thank you to you to let you know that I enjoy our discussions. Talking about Supergirl and Limitless in passing after new episodes gives me a sense of something regular in my life. First I have the show, then I have an excited friend to greet me with exuberance about the latest episode; that gives me a chance to take my thoughts a little further as I share them with someone who respects them and adds to the discussion. I don’t know nearly as much about the comic world as you, but it’s fun to learn more through our dialogue.

Most importantly, I want to thank you for listening to my recent story idea. Not only did you let me voice it, but you answered my background questions and made it sound like my idea has potential and the depth to which I aim. I trust your knowledge in the subject matter and appreciate your respect to my contribution.

Thank you for being you. I enjoy your comic book and sci-fi geekiness and how you let it shine. Thank you for sharing the excitement and inspiration of Supergirl with me.

Salutations,

Kayla

 

Moving from Common Living to Dream Fulfilling

27 Monday Apr 2015

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            I just have finished reading a chapter in Max Lucado’s book The Cure for the Common Life: Living in Your Sweet Spot about joining God’s family of friends through church community. He emphasizes the importance of each member having a specific role to play, using his gifts, and how we come together as one body to support each other.

            The church as a hospital for hurt people is a common image used for Christians. This chapter demonstrates how the community helps its members by providing physical and emotional needs during difficult times. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m taking a course on healing from past wounds at a nearby church. We have spent the last couple weeks sharing our backgrounds and starting a healing process that begins with forgiving people who have hurt us and relinquishing lies, etc. I have immediately seen a significant difference in how I feel since I’ve had my turn in the “holy seat” on Monday evening. Maybe the true beginning really is as simple as acknowledging that certain people have hurt me and forgiving them as well as acknowledging and renouncing lies or curses I have believed as a result of those situations. Nothing has changed the past, but I have started to loosen its negative grip on me as I live in a healthier present.

            Feeling better has made me feel more equipped to start tackling some of my goals again, big and small. I have shared this readiness and some of the dreams on my heart with my group, and I have received enthusiasm and encouragement. Immediately, one friend wanted to introduce me to a writer at the church who currently seeks young authors. Then the group as a whole is happy to see me healing and reaching out to fulfill God’s calling for me.

            That’s exactly what the church family of friends does for each other. These wonderful women have stood beside me as I have started healing and as I shared my scars. I never once felt judged, rather felt lifted up and seen in a positive light for who I am rather than things I have done or that have been done to me. They are helping me get plugged into the church, eager to see me use my gifts. Each week, I am reminded that there is no such thing as coincidence and that God placed me in this group for a purpose.

            As Max Lucado points out, the church is a family of friends. It can come together to serve each other through sharing burdens as well as connecting people for community and getting people plugged into the right place to use their gifts. I am not a member of a church in my area yet, but I am encouraged to keep getting involved to receive further healing from the church as a hospital as well as use my gifts to lift people higher and bring them closer together in fellowship.

Stepping Into Structure

20 Tuesday Jan 2015

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I’m at Dunkin Donuts for my high tea and writing hour again. GROUPLOVE’s song “Ways To Go” just started playing as I contemplated the topic for this post. The title alone reminds me that I indeed have a ways to go before I feel “normal” again, well normal for me at least. At this point, I have to tell myself to take one day at a time and consider each task I do an accomplishment, even if it’s simply “I went to the gym today. That’s good.” Otherwise, it seems too daunting to improve so many aspects of my life at one time.

My overall goal is to knock out my depression, anxiety, and PTSD symptoms. This entails tasks in just about every facet of my life. Right now I see that structure and regularity will give me grounding for performing in this three ring circus where I seem to star. I previously mentioned that having my journaling and writing time every day alleviates some of my anxiety. That gives at least part of my day some structure, and that makes my standing stronger. Next is to add more to it (and my regular exercise routine).

Regular events or tasks can be anything. I love mornings and treasure my two minutes to sip on my coffee before I am ready to tackle the day. Those quiet moments that happen without fail guarantee me a good starting point, whether I get to enjoy my makeup application or not. Watching a weekly TV show one night can provide structure as well. A local movie theater has been playing the Back to the Future trilogy for the past couple weeks on their Retro Thursday night. As those are some of my favorite films, I have gone to each one. Anticipating the movie and getting out of the house give me a positive distraction, especially as I sit on the edge of my seat lost in the action of the movie. As the films wrap up this week, I have to find another weekly event to enjoy. Perhaps I can find a book club or some such similar group; it would provide meaningful interaction as well.

It may seem odd to focus on the seemingly superfluous aspects of life first, but they’re more steady. They provide a structure, and they give me some extra support. Then I can add more therapy sessions and such, knowing I still have time with people and fun distractions already in motion. That means I can add more and more accomplishments to each day.

Life can get daunting, especially when at the starting point of so many aspects. Take it one item and one day at a time, and use that to create a standing point for yourself. Then you can pivot different directions to tackle each area of your life and goals.

Knitting My Community To Surround Myself With Goodness

07 Wednesday Jan 2015

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Misery loves its company, and those demons in the back of my head try so hard to accompany me in my depression. The more time I spend alone, the stronger their presence. I need moments to myself to recharge, but my current situation calls for a rearrangement of such occasions. I have to take extra effort to surround myself with my supportive friends and to sort through my closet of thoughts (in public places). Strangers and close friends alike form my support group. All I need to do is knit them together to keep me wrapped in goodness.

Right now, I’m sipping coffee at the Dunkin Donuts across the bridge from my apartment. I have taken advantage of people who care about me and the comfort of strangers’ presence this evening. A friend from church met me for coffee to discuss our mutual struggle and to encourage me to keep utilizing my positive coping skills, particularly writing and exercising. I called my brother while I ate dinner, and he gave me that final push I needed to face the cold weather to get here. Now I sit under the florescent lights and predominantly orange walls turning my words into action. The radio plays peppy Top 40 music while the workers take care of their closing routine behind the counter. Those simple sounds remind me I am not alone.

All I’ve needed to do is take advantage of these people and places readily available to me. My church friend, brother, and numerous close friends have reminded me that I can call on them any time. My friends even put together two birthday dinners in honor of my birthday last weekend, because they love me and walk alongside me. I simply need to coax myself into making those contacts when I’m down (and in general) to keep me in community. Then I can take a short trip down the road to meet my thoughts in a public place where I can discuss them on paper. Now I really know I won’t be alone.

These people and places alone don’t “cure” my depression, but they give me a starting point. It takes constant effort to progress, and I still aim for a lot of goal fulfillment in the near future. Taking care of my foundation and basics will make it possible to tackle the rest. I know I am meant to live in community, meaning with other people and not the depressing demons who threaten to haunt me. I am a little more needy than usual right now, but I trust that my interactions and writing still serve purpose. In misery’s company, we still find goodness in community.