Tag Archives: support

Book Review: Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts

22 Sunday Mar 2020

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Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts tells the story of a young woman who gives a baby girl birth alone in a Wal-Mart. Gaining the attention of the nation and then new friends in the small town of her temporary “home,” Novalee develops an unconventional family. The support she garners as she connects to the community help her raise her daughter, learn new skills for education and a career (appropriately rooted in the library), and grow personal strength. While the premise sounds odd, the characters welcome you right into their hearts. Their hospitality and support for each other makes you wish you could move into their town too. Novalee demonstrates we all have potential and that it may best come to realization with a support system.

Book Review: She’s Still There

14 Thursday Mar 2019

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Chrystal Evans Hurst’s She’s Still There: Rescuing the Girl in You lays groundwork to help you set and reach goals while standing strongly on your faith. If taken slowly and done with the help of a mentor, it can serve as groundwork for making progress on the path to fulfilling your purpose. Hurst honestly shares her own experiences while providing practical advice regarding how to take action toward making desires into reality, make use of a support system with specific types of encouragement, and keep your focus on the right aspects of life. I have soaked in this information and found myself referencing it again. My accompanying workbook still has exercises to do, and I’d like to go back to the book to instill some concepts I’ve flagged there, most importantly the support system. I recommend this for someone looking for some extra encouragement or ideas on how to structure goal setting and support system creation.

Countdown to Valentine’s Day: A Winsom Woman’s Wisdom – Galentines Is Where the Heart Is

06 Wednesday Feb 2019

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The hit book Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts captures the spirit of community, and thus Galentines, in the story about young Novalee moving into a Wal-Mart and having her baby there. Abandoned by her boyfriend and the father of her child, Novalee finds herself in an unfamiliar small Oklahoma town. Yet upon leaving the hospital with her new baby Americus, she finds a new home and mother figure who opened her home after one brief meeting. She develops a close knit group of girl friends who show up for each other in times of need and times of celebration.

This story unexpectedly had me turning pages, imagining the bonds shared in the Oklahoma town. Though seemingly simple, Novalee shows a lot of growth as well as inherent wisdom as she devours books at the library and learns from her experiences. She possesses an admirable strength as she pushes forward despite knowing she may not have the ideal life situation. Her friends remain at her side to support her efforts to care for Americus, hones her skills to develop a photography career and opens up to an opportunity for love with a top pick of the litter.

Our Galentines can do the same for us. Just yesterday my friend showed up during a time of disappointment for me. We’ve been meeting regularly to support some mutual goals and provide support, but yesterday showed extra care. Not long after, we both felt better and witnessed improvement in our projects. Another friend has showered me with cheesy Valentine notes to join me celebrating my favorite holiday. My conversations with her already brighten my days regularly, but these cards add extra sunshine. With quality friends by our sides, we can stand stronger and move forward together.

Countdown to Valentine’s Day: A Walk to Remember

02 Saturday Feb 2019

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As we reach the middle point between the 17th anniversary of A Walk to Remember’s theatrical release and Valentine’s Day, let’s take a moment to appreciate its legacy. The movie would reach its senior year of high school this year if it were a person. The young protagonists in this teenage love story find themselves caught up in an unlikely love story in one of the early, and one of the better, Nicholas Sparks novel screen adaptations. Jamie Sullivan models a lived faith where she willingly helps those around her regardless of their past, and Landon Carter shows us that with support people can improve themselves.

As we walk into the month of love, let’s consider how we can show love to others, maybe even to those society brushes off as hopeless. Landon asks Jamie to run lines with him so he won’t make a fool of himself in the spring play, and Jamie agrees so the whole production won’t suffer. She gives Landon a chance to live up to his challenge. Take a look around you. Is there someone who could use a loving hand to accomplish a task or who could use the company of someone supportive? Start with showing up and being willing to help even with what seems like a small favor. Big changes happen through a series of small steps.

 

Monday Motivation – The Great American Reader: “Yer a wizard”

28 Monday Jan 2019

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Harry Potter, the famous boy who lived, enters the world as a wizard. Yet he grows up not knowing about his identity or the world from which it comes. Once he finally receives his acceptance letter from Hogwarts, thanks to Hagrid’s hand delivery, he begins to learn about wizardry. This involves going to Diagon Alley to get his school supplies and finding a magical train platform that will take him to his destination.

As Harry prepares to get sorted into his house and to start classes, he worries that he lacks critical skills due to growing up in a muggle household (meaning one with no magic). He ponders how his classmates might make fun of him and how he may fail. However, he quickly realizes that his wizard counterparts possess no more know how than he does. They all have a lot to learn, and they each have a path to follow.

Lately, I’ve felt how Harry does about beginning school. He learns about a whole new world at age eleven, and he discovers that it doesn’t matter that he discovered it later than many of his classmates. Like many people, I face various insecurities. I even have them about school. Graduate school also holds a world some know and some don’t, that some appreciate and others don’t. Again, people who attend discover their path to knowledge at different ages. I have friends who went from undergrad straight to grad school and friends who began their higher degrees in their 40s or 50s. All of these people have improved their lives and careers, some even changing direction from their previous degrees, because of their pursuit. Like Harry Potter, I have learned that I have not fallen behind because I begin later than some of my peers.

In addition to accepting that Harry has not in fact discovered his identity and world too late, he learns whose voices to give credit and whose to deflect. His aunt and uncle despise the wizarding world and put Harry down, and bully Draco Malfoy acts as anyone not pure blooded has no place at Hogwarts. Yet Harry sees that everyone there has their place. He quickly finds a group of friends who keep him grounded and mentors who remind him of the truth. Fortunately, we too can deflect the negative voices who feed our doubt to keep us down and instead lean on our supportive friends and mentors to remind us our goals have value and that we can reach them.

 

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” 

George Eliot

Thoughtful Thursday: Prison Mates in The Count of Monte Cristo

10 Thursday Jan 2019

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In The Count of Monte Cristo, Edmond Dantes eventually discovers he has a neighbor in a nearby cell. The dungeon has left him darkness and pulled his hope into despair. Yet not long before fulfilling his idea to starve himself, he hears a tapping sound that renews his hope. That day he eats again. Then he also starts chipping at his own wall, slowly making a passage to connect to his neighbor’s. Knowing he doesn’t suffer alone gives him hope and strength to move forward.

Once the prisoners succeed with their adjoining tunnel, they meet. Instantly, their hopes improve. Faria even literally steps into the sliver of light shining through the small window in Dantes’ cell as Dantes casts his first glance upon his new friend. As they learn they can trust each other, they begin to make plans. Faria shares his plethora of history and language knowledge. Eventually, they renew their efforts to escape their prison.

People often compare the darkness of mental illness as a pit, and people often feel stuck in what seems like a prison not unlike the one where Dantes and Faria find themselves. Yet when they join each other, their hope renews. They don’t bring the misunderstanding, accusations or judgment their guards have cast on them unhelpfully but bring company. The simple presence gives the possibility of trust. Outside the pages, we often forget to begin with this step when someone we love falls into the pit. Joining the friend shows they don’t suffer alone and serves as a starting point for giving them a safe place to share their struggles as Dantes and Faria share their backgrounds with each other as a way to form understanding. Then, sharing knowledge and support, we can work together to find a way back into the light.

 

A Winsome Woman’s Wisdom: Pink on a Wednesday Birthday

09 Wednesday Jan 2019

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The girls in Mean Girls wear pink on Wednesdays. Though we think we leave drama and teenage angst behind when we graduate high school, the world continues to hand us lemons. We still struggle with maintaining a firm foundation of our values, discovering our identity, pursuing our purpose, developing relationships and more. The teenage angst lives on; therefore, we can still learn from young adults as they come of age. Let’s take a look at some ladies as they’ve forged their way into adulthood.

 

29 birthday

 

My birthday fell on a Wednesday last week, and I got to celebrate the start of another year in my new pink attire. My best friend made us personalized shirts for our book club duo. In high school, she recommended Twilight to me after we realized our common reading interest in journalism class. The friendship only grew from there, forged in immortality right alongside our Edward Cullen Pop! mascot (on the shelf behind me).

Books make great friends, but the people who join us outside the pages make our own lives better. Like the stories we read, we experience continual teenage angst, the flutters of a budding love and the disappointments and victories in stepping toward dreams. The people beside us join us for encouragement, laughter and support. I’m so thankful for my best friends and all my bookish friends.

Book Review: Pelican Point, A Hope Harbor Novel

11 Sunday Nov 2018

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I received a copy of Pelican Point by Irene Hannon from Revell in exchange for a review.

Reading Pelican Point gave me the uplifting book boost I sought after reading and watching a few heavier stories. This sweet small town romance provides a fun story and encouragement for moving through life’s tougher situations. Though this book comes as the fourth in the Hope Harbor series, it makes sense as a stand alone novel. I fell right into step with the residents in town as I followed army doctor Ben there as he returned for his grandfather’s funeral. He and the other characters each face decisions on how to best move forward after loss, moves, and career changes. As they forge friendships and open themselves to possibilities, they find themselves improving their situations and relationships.

As many of us cue up the feel good Hallmark Christmas movies, I equate this with a similar style story. This does not involve Christmas, but it does end with a November wedding. So I say the timing for my reading could not have been better. Like the characters, I face decisions of how to move forward with my career, school and long term living situation. This story reminds me we all face difficult decisions but don’t have to do so alone. In this case, everyone gains confidence as they work together to save a lighthouse. The town coming together as a community to save a community landmark emphasizes the importance of a support network and connection to the world around you. With a little extra encouragement, we can pursue our potential. Sometimes what we need stands within our reach and we simply need to get out and open ourselves to the possibility.

 

This is my first Irene Hannon book, but it definitely won’t be the last. I’d like to go back and read the others in this series and look forward to the fifth releasing next year. As a Missouri native, I enjoyed the tid bit about her attending universities in Missouri and living there. I also found it interesting she chose a town in Oregon not far from where my brother lives and included a character transplanted from Texas, my last state residence. I look forward to returning to Hope Harbor to visit these characters again.

A Winsome Woman’s Wisdom: Anna Fitzgerald, Sister Keeper

31 Wednesday Oct 2018

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The girls in Mean Girls wear pink on Wednesdays. Though we think we leave drama and teenage angst behind when we graduate high school, the world continues to hand us lemons. We still struggle with maintaining a firm foundation of our values, discovering our identity, pursuing our purpose, developing relationships and more. The teenage angst lives on; therefore, we can still learn from young adults as they come of age. Let’s take a look at some ladies as they’ve forged their way into adulthood.

 

Anna Fitzgerald exists because her parents specifically created her embryo as a donor match for her older sister Kate in Jodi Picoult’s bestselling novel My Sister’s Keeper. The story follows Anna’s attempts to make donor decisions herself by filing a lawsuit against her parents. Her whole life has involved huge procedures all chosen for her; those also make it difficult for her to live life normally, almost as though she had leukemia too. Like most 13-year-olds, she feels unsure as she navigates making choices for herself, especially when tension arises due to her parents not agreeing.

In some ways, we all can relate to Anna in our desire for approval. We all seek approval from our parents, our peers, our friends even as adults. Yet we forget that we need not live by their standards. Even Queen Elizabeth I points this out to her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in The Crown when she asserts that her job requires her to make decisions based on God’s approval rather than the general public. In most cases, this would follow the wiser direction anyway considering the unapproving parties tend to not have expertise in the field they project their opinion. Mrs. Fitzgerald unquestionably cares about her daughters, but she doesn’t have the expertise to understand what will happen to Kate or Anna if they follow through with a kidney donation. In fact, the doctor said Kate had passed the point in renal failure where it would benefit her. Anna seeks counsel and help from experts, despite not having her mother’s approval.

While we want to live at peace with those around us, it serves us all to stand on our proper foundations to make our decisions rather than sway to gain temporary approval. It also does us well to seek counsel from multiple sources. Chrystal Evans Hurst wisely encourages readers to gather multiple types of people for your support team in She’s Still There, including a mentor figure ahead of you on the same career path and a friend who cheers you on by your side. Having a firm foundation and a support team makes it easier to keep moving forward and stay focused on your purpose.

Desiring approval comes naturally. So does the angst felt when we don’t get it. However, we can continue forward with strength and purpose and do better than if we allowed ourselves to waver. We have support around us to give us the guidance and encouragement we need to make progress. Making decisions doesn’t necessarily get easier, but we can rest assured knowing we base them on truth.

Recognize Potential Growth and Ask for Specific Help Achieving It

30 Tuesday Oct 2018

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In my post yesterday, I mentioned the importance of specifics that included requests for help. Today I’d like to share specific ways someone may ask for help. Whether combatting obstacles of mental illness or not, we all need community and personal growth tools. Recognizing those needs and voicing them creates opportunities to deepen relationships and fuel progress on goals. Consider asking a trusted friend specific questions like these.

 

Five Ways to Ask for Help

  1. Could I have more time? Especially with depression, motivation seems lackluster at best. It takes longer than usual to do routine tasks just to get to the rest of the to-do list. Letting someone know you work to complete the task lets them know you have not quit. It also gives them a chance to offer to collaborate.
  2. Would you look at this list with me? I’ve been exploring options for graduate school. After passing on an opportunity to attend for free years ago and recently passing after almost agreeing to go $20,000 further in debt simply because that was the convenient option rather than wait, I want to make an informed decision and one that doesn’t inadvertently create a greater stress (like a greater debt than I already have). My best friend periodically asks how my progress looks. I’ve created a document with information on the schools I consider and shared it with her. This keeps me on track and allows me to bounce ideas as well as collect more perspective. If you have a goal to pursue a new career or add to your exercise routine, ask someone to look at your options with you.
  3. Would you go to this place with me? Sometimes we hesitate to go somewhere to avoid the discomfort. Having a friend for moral support can help. If it makes it possible for you to make a necessary appointment or to try a new group to gain community, get someone to go with you.
  4. Could I tell you something? Voicing a concern makes it real, thus makes it possible to face it. Ask a trusted friend if you can share your hesitations. Then you can start exploring ways to overcome your doubt. It also gives the person a way to give you support and encouragement. Again, my friend who asks me about my school progress also reminds me of my capabilities and intellect when I share my hesitations and doubts. It helps me keep the truth push me forward rather than let the doubt hold me in place.
  5. Can I confess something? This continues the concept of voicing an emotion or struggle to deal with it rather than let it fester. When we feel angry, avoiding the emotion allows us to bury it and grow roots of bitterness. Voicing the emotion in prayer or to a trusted friend puts it in the light to expose it to truth and let it go. The same thing happens when we confess a wrong we’ve done.