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Kayla's Only Heart

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Kayla's Only Heart

Tag Archives: structure

The Little Paris Bookshop and The Big Structure Workshop

09 Monday May 2016

Posted by Kayla Stierwalt in books, Essay, Uncategorized

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adventure, book, book review, books, characters, foundation, goals, Goodreads, healing, insight, life, loss, Nina George, progress, reading, results, routine, story, strategy, strength, structure, The Little Paris Bookshop, writing

Yesterday I finished reading Nina George’s novel The Little Paris Bookshop, and for the first time I gave fewer than three stars to a book on Goodreads. While the story had some insight into loss and the healing power of books, it had no strength. This came from a lack of structure. I pointed to Jean finding Manon, additionally letting go of his lost love in the process, as the overarching story goal. Yet even he didn’t seem to pursue that objective very strongly. He went on a mostly aimless adventure and made friends along the way. The added characters provided some color, but the lack of transition from scene to scene did not. Those poor people had no foundation upon which to stand.

This reminded me of how I ought to adjust the pursuit of some of my goals. Not having set times and strategies for tasks like job hunting and novel writing made it take even longer to get started, let alone see my desired progress. If I tightened my strategies with definitive times rather than as soon as I can, I could see better results. My high aims for my routine, my writing, my career and my life can stand better on a solid structure. It also would make it easier for others to grasp beneficial ideas and insight from my structure and what’s built into it.

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Lent Reflection: Meetings

18 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by Kayla Stierwalt in Essay, Journal, Uncategorized

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Celebrate Recovery, Christian, Christian living, Christianity, church, community, depression, fasting, focus, friends, God, grace, growth, healing, hope, Jesus, Lent, light, meetings, perspective, recovery, scripture, stability, structure

Lent started just over a week ago, and today I start a new project of sorts to give me a better focus on God during this special time (yes, it’s okay to start late). Rather than fast from a particular food or activity during this season, I typically carve out some extra time to focus on God by using my spiritual gift of encouragement. This project I’ve mentioned involves taking that in a different direction. I plan to carve out time a couple times each week to reflect on my healing, how God has fulfilled it. For me, that is best done through writing or journaling (which I already do on a daily basis in the interest of maintaining my overall health).

The past couple weeks, I’ve contemplated the importance of regular meetings. “Meeting” can allude to an array of subjects to discuss at said gatherings. While I have noticed that having regular meeting times provides my life more structure and meaning, I have also contemplated the effect of regular meeting times for worship and community with God’s family.

In college, I found it easier to manage my symptoms of depression, anxiety and PTSD.  I created a routine and stuck to it, successfully accomplishing my goals to regularly exercise, pray, have mealtimes with friends, maintain my leadership position at Campus Christian Fellowship, attend worship services throughout the week and complete my school work and projects. I felt good about these tasks and my activities; I felt connected and enriched. I could see my growth. I have only recently noticed the pattern of meeting in the context of worship and spiritual growth having a significant role in keeping my focus and perspective on track. I was regularly reminded of Scripture and how God’s love fulfills it on a daily basis. I also met with a counselor and mentor to help me apply that to my life to keep my focus on the light rather than the darkness that tends to hover around me. All those meetings took up a considerable amount of time, but they made it possible for me to continue moving forward, and, most importantly, in the light.

The transition from college to the so-called “real world” can prove rough for everyone. Fortunately, I know I am not alone. Several friends have shared my struggle in finding a meaningful job or selecting the direction they want to take their careers. Transition of any sort has its difficulties. I just can’t help but see the importance and benefit of transitioning into more meetings to maintain the structure and stability of corporate worship and community. Even someone at a recent support group meeting mentioned how attending three different support groups every week for a while made it possible for her to step away from her destructive path; she even emphasized that continuing to attend meetings (this is more than fifteen years later) keeps her on that track. Sadly, as this same person shared, she’s been around long enough to see people get sober from drugs for years and then go back once they stop attending meetings. We all need constant meetings to keep our focus and accountability in perspective.

That brings me to a new goal. The past several weeks, I have adjusted my schedule to make it easier for me to regularly attend the church service where I feel most comfortable and the Celebrate Recovery program I feel most at home. Even a couple weeks of attending both meetings gave me a better structure and a sense of stability to keep me on track to progress my healing. I know I will add more meetings, but that gives me a good start. I can also rest assured that both those meetings maintain a focus on God’s grace and love.

 

Lent is a time to fast and focus. God can use focus and perspective through meetings to keep us on track. What meeting can you commit to attending, even just during Lent to give your time to improve your relationship with God and your life?

 

Stepping Into Structure

20 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by Kayla Stierwalt in Journal

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accomplishment, anticipation, anxiety, Back to the Future, depression, direction, Dunkin Donuts, goals, GROUPLOVE, improvement, life, movies, PTSD, routine, self help, self improvement, starting point, structure, writing

I’m at Dunkin Donuts for my high tea and writing hour again. GROUPLOVE’s song “Ways To Go” just started playing as I contemplated the topic for this post. The title alone reminds me that I indeed have a ways to go before I feel “normal” again, well normal for me at least. At this point, I have to tell myself to take one day at a time and consider each task I do an accomplishment, even if it’s simply “I went to the gym today. That’s good.” Otherwise, it seems too daunting to improve so many aspects of my life at one time.

My overall goal is to knock out my depression, anxiety, and PTSD symptoms. This entails tasks in just about every facet of my life. Right now I see that structure and regularity will give me grounding for performing in this three ring circus where I seem to star. I previously mentioned that having my journaling and writing time every day alleviates some of my anxiety. That gives at least part of my day some structure, and that makes my standing stronger. Next is to add more to it (and my regular exercise routine).

Regular events or tasks can be anything. I love mornings and treasure my two minutes to sip on my coffee before I am ready to tackle the day. Those quiet moments that happen without fail guarantee me a good starting point, whether I get to enjoy my makeup application or not. Watching a weekly TV show one night can provide structure as well. A local movie theater has been playing the Back to the Future trilogy for the past couple weeks on their Retro Thursday night. As those are some of my favorite films, I have gone to each one. Anticipating the movie and getting out of the house give me a positive distraction, especially as I sit on the edge of my seat lost in the action of the movie. As the films wrap up this week, I have to find another weekly event to enjoy. Perhaps I can find a book club or some such similar group; it would provide meaningful interaction as well.

It may seem odd to focus on the seemingly superfluous aspects of life first, but they’re more steady. They provide a structure, and they give me some extra support. Then I can add more therapy sessions and such, knowing I still have time with people and fun distractions already in motion. That means I can add more and more accomplishments to each day.

Life can get daunting, especially when at the starting point of so many aspects. Take it one item and one day at a time, and use that to create a standing point for yourself. Then you can pivot different directions to tackle each area of your life and goals.

1000 Hills, One Day

03 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by Kayla Stierwalt in Journal

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goals, morning, priorities, purpose, routine, state park, structure

The other day, I got my day going by visiting the state park in my college town. I went hiking on the trail and jogged near the lake. My mission for my couple days in town was to get my apartment packed so I could move. Yet my health still held an important aspect of my overall wellbeing. Starting the day with a high priority task maintained my grounds for the rest of the day.

I structure my routine rather particularly, an art I’ve perfected. As a notably morning person, I place some priorities at the start of my day. Ideally, I work out, pray, and prepare for the day before work or my first engagement. That gives me a boost to get me to tackle the day and quality alone time to bolster my confidence for the day. I know what keeps me balanced best.

Other people roll out of bed and go to work. That’s great. I get my five minutes with myself to sip my kick start and check my email, and they get to grab their coffee and enjoy it at work. We all figure out what works best.

I start with at least one of my higher priority items so I feel like I have a solid start and a strengthened foundation for my day. That way, I get something important accomplished every day, even if it is just health maintenance. That’s what keeps me grounded and able to keep reaching forward with my other goals.

What tasks keep you on track for your day and your goals?

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You can't make advances if you don't take chances. These posts share my perspectives of my journey as I step forward, walking in the Light.

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