Tag Archives: relationships

Springtime Reading Recommendations

13 Wednesday Mar 2019

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Springtime makes a perfect setting for growth as the green returns to the land and love and floral scents fill the air. I have compiled a list of books that feature a lot of character growth, particularly within family dynamics. Let these stories inspire us to develop ourselves and to connect with our family on an authentic, deep level.

Lock & Key by Sarah Dessen: Ruby starts in a dysfunctional family situation. After her mother disappears, she finds herself in a more stable home with the sister she hasn’t seen in years. Ruby learns how to adjust to a healthy, structured life as she makes new friends and reconnects with her family. Trust serves as a focal theme.

Wonder by P.J. Palacio: August embarks on his first year at a public school, and he and his family brace for how the other students will respond to his differences. The entire story reminds us of the importance of kindness. August’s parents and sister learn how to support him while he gains some independence, and August learns how to connect with those around him who have genuine relationships with him.

How to Walk Away by Katherine Center: This story mostly revolves around resiliency as Margaret heals from a plane crash. As she adjusts to living her life in a new way and discovers new ways to achieve her goals. Her parents and sister support her physically and emotionally, even as Margaret and her sister reconcile after a prolonged disconnect. Margaret thrives as we see her emotional, mental and physical strength, and she makes it with the help of her family coming together for her.

The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh: This heartrending novel follows orphan Victoria as she goes through the foster care system her whole life and ultimately ages out. She sees what family means as she seeks familial connections. The characters have to conquer deep insecurities and learn how to trust as they navigate their relationships. The flowers and characters hold deep meaning and growth.

This Must Be the Place by Maggie O’Farrell:  A sweeping family saga, this story follows Daniel as he develops, and sometimes fails, his familial relationships. Covering multiple time periods as well as multiple continents, it shows the long term effects of Daniel’s choices. He grows as a man, father and husband as he faces triumphs and disappointments in life. This shows an authentic look at the struggle and importance of keeping a supportive family together.

Book Review: This Must Be the Place

12 Tuesday Mar 2019

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Maggie O’Farrell’s This Must Be the Place has a spot in my top 10 reads from last year and probably the top spot for book club selections last year and a spot on my all time favorites list. This novel covers so much territory in time, place, relationships, and more. Daniel Sullivan’s life saga brings infinite contemplations on life as he navigates personal and career triumphs and pitfalls. Each experience feels so real, and each character makes you wish you could meet them in some capacity. O’Farrell has such writing strength in style, depth, and intelligence, and that makes her an author whose work I want to complete.

 

Book Review: Listen to Your Heart

15 Friday Feb 2019

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Kasie West’s Listen to Your Heart makes a fun Valentine weekend read. Kate doesn’t excel at talking to people but ends up hosting her school’s new advice podcast. Finding herself better than she expected, she gains confidence in her voice. Her development in her craft as well as her crush bring the elements of a teen romantic comedy. Wondering if she or her crush would speak up during their playful banter and if the anonymous caller would get revealed on the show keeps me smiling as I turn the pages.

 

Other Kasie West Recommendations:

PS I Like You

The Fill-In Boyfriend (my review)

Love, Life, and the List (my review)

Top 10 Books I Read in 2018

01 Tuesday Jan 2019

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Happy New Year! As we begin a fresh calendar year, I want to share my top reads from 2018. That way we can start our reading lists with good titles and a reminder of the plethora of wonderful reads awaiting us.

 

  1. How to Walk Away by Katherine Center: This book follows a woman my age as she finishes her MBA program. As she anticipates starting her new job and accepting her fiancé’s proposal, her dreams literally go up in flames in a plane crash. Margaret must learn to heal physically, emotionally and mentally as she learns a new way of life and builds new dreams. Talk about a reminder of human resiliency. This book demonstrates hope and holds a wonderful sweetness.
  2. Wonder by R.J. Palacio: This read also reminds readers of human strength. It proves the power of kindness, especially in small actions. Little boy August constantly deals with obstacles in life, some seen by others and some not. He faces ridicule and misunderstanding by his peers, but he maintains strength in character. I highly recommend to readers of all ages as we all need to show more kindness.
  3. This Must Be the Place by Maggie O’Farrell: A complicated family tale, this story delves into the depths of familial relationships. Daniel Sullivan encounters tragedy and triumph as he navigates his life and looks back on his mistakes and accomplishments. Through it all, we see the core of a family and how it holds together, sometimes in unexpected ways.
  4. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han: This YA gem hits the mark! It makes such a sweet, fun story, and it even introduces a character with a Korean background. Not to mention, it involves a teenage girl with admirable qualities (I find it especially refreshing to see a realistic and innocent perspective on sex). The book takes you to the thrills of high school while also exploring the angst and growth experienced during that sometimes tumultuous time. *The movie did a great job capturing all this on screen too. I’d consider Peter for a Valentine nominee this year.
  5. The Writing Desk by Rachel Hauck: This has introduced me to Hauck, and I wholeheartedly look forward to reading more of her books (I have a couple in my birthday book stack). The story goes back and forth in time between two young women embarking on writing careers and struggling to find mutual understanding with their mothers. Each one faces obstacles and yearns to stay true to her values and to develop her faith. The issues are relatable, and the women likeable.
  6. Circe by Madeline Miller: Circe serves as my pleasant surprise for the year. Getting my first deeper look into Greek mythology, I find myself more interested after reading this book. The themes of isolation, abandonment, love, connection and more play out in unique ways. I have enjoyed getting pulled into such a different story and learning some of the characters’ background.
  7. The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn: Finn’s debut also goes outside my typical realm as it fits into the mystery/thriller category. However, to my appreciation, this book doesn’t involve gory violence or other sick scenarios. In an homage to Hitchcock style movies, it explores the real pitfalls of isolation and mental health. It sends a positive message of the importance of connection. Now I want to watch some of the movies that inspired Finn.
  8. Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center: A release coming later this year, Center’s next book continues her sweet stories with positive outlooks. It explores building new relationships and forgiving people who have caused significant harm. Again, it reminds us of the power of human connection and a strength and hope to move forward.
  9. Fiercehearted by Holley Gerth: Gerth feels like a kindred spirit in her devotional style book with short chapters. Each anecdote carries such an authentic tone, and she has a unique perspective always open to learning. Seemingly ordinary details in life become opportunities to grow. She reminds me that God speaks to us at all times, willing to guide us at every step.
  10. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery: I can now say I’ve read this classic, and I love it. Anne has such a contagious positive outlook on life. Orphaned and learning from her adoptive mom Marilla how to lead a more civilized life, Anne’s imagination both gets her into trouble and keeps her head up. She takes her lessons in stride and makes so much progress.

 

Cheers to another great year of reading!

Book Review: The Mountain Between Us

18 Tuesday Dec 2018

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I’ve recently read Charles Martin’s The Mountain Between Us with my library book club. This book has surpassed my expectations of a rough adventure in the wild. Though it does involve a rather bleak trek through snowy mountain terrain, it goes beyond physical survival. The friendship that develops between Dr. Ben Payne and Ashley Knox has depth to it as they learn each other’s backgrounds their conversation. Ben has the necessary skills to keep them alive on a basic level, and he goes beyond by keeping Ashley’s spirits uplifted as they converse on their journey.

I have enjoyed this book more than I initially anticipated, and I have felt pleasantly surprised. I like the depth added to the characters and the development of their friendship. The plot structures around survival, and that gives some spice to my usual settings. Then the conversations fit right into what I like to read.

Since reading this, I have noticed a few other Charles Martin titles I’d like to read. As a Christian fiction author, his books have an uplifting undertone. I have heard and read the movie adaptation vastly differs from the book, but I’m curious to check that out as well.

 

 

Book Review: The Things You Save in a Fire

15 Saturday Dec 2018

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I received an advance reader edition of Katherine Center’s upcoming release The Things You Save in a Fire from NetGalley.

 

I’m happy to write that this book is the second Katherine Center book I’ve read this year (the advance copy of this year’s How to Walk Away my favorite read this year), and this has lived up to my anticipation. The Things You Save in a Fire follows 26-year-old Cassie as she moves from Austin to a city outside of Boston to reunite with the mother her left her ten years prior. Cassie transitions into a life where she works with a new firefighter crew that vastly differs from her Austin crew and where she has closer contact with her now sick mother.

As a teenager, Cassie learned how to close herself off to protect herself emotionally, and she continues to grapple with those effects as a young adult. She exhibits physical, mental and emotional strength as she lands her spot as the most highly valued crew member. Despite her previous captain’s advice to not show emotions as well as to not develop further relationships with another crew member, Cassie finds herself facing new emotional territory as she works with the rookie, whose status makes his nickname Rookie. This gentleman makes a perfect romantic lead, one admired even by the rest of the crew. While he may seem almost too good to be true, he makes a likeable character worthy of interest; I appreciate seeing a nice, respectful guy receive the affection of the lady. On that note, some descriptions about him or the team dynamics at the fire station get borderline cliché at times. However, the overall story hits a sweet note that has some depth to it.

Though mostly on the sweet side, this story also dives into themes like forgiveness. Cassie and her mom make a good example of how to ease into trust and how seeking reconciliation impacts the possibility of a genuine connection. Through her experiences, Cassie learns how to deal with her past and move on more open to relationships. The story falls short of giving that a full exploration since it ends at the end of the bliss of the first step of healing, an important one but only the beginning. Forgiveness sought and given gets multiple perspectives here, showing each one’s importance. This point serves as a good reminder to all readers.

I have enjoyed How to Walk Away a little more than The Things You Save in a Fire, but both have sealed Katherine Center as an author whose new releases I follow and seek. I appreciate how she’s written characters in my age group and shown positive messages, surprisingly an accomplishment I haven’t seen often. Now I would like to check out her back catalogue.

 

Thank you so much NetGalley for giving me an opportunity to read this book early!

Book Review: P.S. I Still Love You

14 Friday Dec 2018

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My best friend and I continued our buddy read of Jenny Han’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before trilogy with the second installment. P.S. I Still Love You didn’t hit that sweet spot quite as strongly as the introduction to Lara Jean and the recipients of her love letters, but it did still hit the spot.

This story continues Lara Jean’s first steps into romance as she faces the aftermath of her fight with Peter Kavinsky and the release of a video of them online. As she navigates confronting the issue and enduring the ridicule of her peers, Lara Jean demonstrates how her actions as well as others’ actions can have a tremendous effect on her life. Of course her sisters and dad continue as her constant support, and she makes new friendships with a couple older and wiser ladies at the nursing home where she interns. Lara Jean’s experiences make a good example of how internet shaming greatly impacts people and how teenagers and young adults face significant pressure when it comes to relationships. I appreciate how Han creates a likeable character who reminds us of the vulnerability of developing relationships and communicating boundaries. Lara Jean models a realistic approach to balance cultural pressures with her personal values and makes a good example of voicing her wants rather than following her peers’ expectations.

So far this trilogy has provided some great conversation, a likeable and admirable character and a sweet story with the awkwardness, angst and fun of being a teenager and discovering love. I highly anticipate the third book, and the first goes in my top ten books I’ve read this year.

 

In case you were wondering, the Netflix movie adaptation of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before does a great job capturing this fun story on the screen. They cast the characters well, they kept the heart of the book, and gave it an authentic feel with their attention to detail on screen.

Thoughtful Thursday: Specific Action

01 Thursday Nov 2018

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This week we’ve explored specific communication and specific requests. Now we can consider our friends and specific actions we can take to help. Everyone can use a loving hand in some capacity, and it offers a chance to deepen a bond as you lift them up. Plus, doing a kind deed for someone lifts your spirits too.

When I first moved to Houston two years ago, my dad and I both stood in a transition place between homes. I ended up in the townhouse we shared first, which meant neither my dad nor his kitchen basics had joined me yet. My cousin listened to me and understood it felt important to me to feel like I found a new home, so she brought a couple bowls, plates, cups and more to the townhouse from her own kitchen. These simple dishes made me feel like I had more autonomy and normalcy; I could eat my oatmeal the way I liked. Getting back into my routine made me feel better, and I got there because someone listened and shared what she could. She welcomed me to the community.

Consider listening to a friend or family member and hearing a need you might meet. This can range from paying attention to the weather changing causing your runner friend to adjust her exercise wardrobe and picking up a long sleeve running shirt. Maybe someone you know mentions a desire to lose weight. You can offer to cook a healthy meal for her or try a new recipe together. With a greater focus on those around us, these small actions remind your loved ones that they need not do life alone and that someone cares. 

 

This concept comes easier to some people than others. Perhaps it relates to the love languages and some people speaking acts of service better. Acts of service ranks last on what I speak well. However, if I focus on it more, I can still find ways to perform acts of service. A woman in one of my groups has mentioned a desire to lose weight and maintain a healthier lifestyle. I’d like to invite her to come to my place for dinner before an upcoming meeting or to walk at a park, weather permitting.

What can you do for someone you know who may need some extra encouragement?

Recognize Potential Growth and Ask for Specific Help Achieving It

30 Tuesday Oct 2018

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In my post yesterday, I mentioned the importance of specifics that included requests for help. Today I’d like to share specific ways someone may ask for help. Whether combatting obstacles of mental illness or not, we all need community and personal growth tools. Recognizing those needs and voicing them creates opportunities to deepen relationships and fuel progress on goals. Consider asking a trusted friend specific questions like these.

 

Five Ways to Ask for Help

  1. Could I have more time? Especially with depression, motivation seems lackluster at best. It takes longer than usual to do routine tasks just to get to the rest of the to-do list. Letting someone know you work to complete the task lets them know you have not quit. It also gives them a chance to offer to collaborate.
  2. Would you look at this list with me? I’ve been exploring options for graduate school. After passing on an opportunity to attend for free years ago and recently passing after almost agreeing to go $20,000 further in debt simply because that was the convenient option rather than wait, I want to make an informed decision and one that doesn’t inadvertently create a greater stress (like a greater debt than I already have). My best friend periodically asks how my progress looks. I’ve created a document with information on the schools I consider and shared it with her. This keeps me on track and allows me to bounce ideas as well as collect more perspective. If you have a goal to pursue a new career or add to your exercise routine, ask someone to look at your options with you.
  3. Would you go to this place with me? Sometimes we hesitate to go somewhere to avoid the discomfort. Having a friend for moral support can help. If it makes it possible for you to make a necessary appointment or to try a new group to gain community, get someone to go with you.
  4. Could I tell you something? Voicing a concern makes it real, thus makes it possible to face it. Ask a trusted friend if you can share your hesitations. Then you can start exploring ways to overcome your doubt. It also gives the person a way to give you support and encouragement. Again, my friend who asks me about my school progress also reminds me of my capabilities and intellect when I share my hesitations and doubts. It helps me keep the truth push me forward rather than let the doubt hold me in place.
  5. Can I confess something? This continues the concept of voicing an emotion or struggle to deal with it rather than let it fester. When we feel angry, avoiding the emotion allows us to bury it and grow roots of bitterness. Voicing the emotion in prayer or to a trusted friend puts it in the light to expose it to truth and let it go. The same thing happens when we confess a wrong we’ve done.

Book Review: Boundaries in Dating

16 Tuesday Oct 2018

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Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend write some of the best books I’ve read discussing relationship basics, and this book fits right in with the others. Following the basis of their phenomenal Boundaries, Boundaries in Dating makes the concepts more specific to dating relationships. They dive into common issues and make accessible some of their causes. Gaining a better understanding of the underlying desires behind some people’s undesirable behaviors, whether done by yourself or the person you date, makes handling them manageable. The potential boundaries readers can develop a healthier structure and foundation for dating, including direction for future expectations. Overall, the book offers tremendous insight and applicable knowledge.

I highly recommend this book as well as its predecessor Boundaries. I also recommend their book Safe People. I look forward to a future re-read of Boundaries as well as further reading by these authors.