Tag Archives: progress

Woman in Black

21 Saturday Sep 2019

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Today I wear black

not to show darkness

but to mute the doubt

that I’ll see your back

 

For I stand solid strong

sure in your protective arms

even at a distance,

singing our song

 

Notes of hope advance

a comforting melody plays

inviting the next stride

of our love’s dance

 

a single step back

does not disconnect

but rocks you forward

leaning onto me dressed in black

 

 

September 17, 2019

Book Review: Love Life Again

22 Wednesday May 2019

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Tracie Miles writes an accessible starting point for adjusting perspectives and making life improvements in Love Life Again: Finding Joy When Life Is Hard. Each chapter covers a topic that includes an application the reader can make after reading. It makes a great discussion book to cover with a partner who wants to reach similar goals, and it may pay off to read only one or two chapters a week to give ample opportunity for applying the concepts. The content mostly stays at a surface level, making it a guide beneficial to anyone. However, for those with mental health issues I would suggest it as a starting point or supplement to licensed therapy. As someone who needs more I still find encouragement and direction from this work because each small step makes a different. It serves as a reminder for some of the everyday tasks I can maintain to keep up my mental hygiene as well as my Christian walk and relationship with God.

Monday Motivation: Run with the Truth

07 Monday Jan 2019

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“Men occasionally stumble on the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”

Sir Winston Churchill

 

With so many resources available to us, we have a significant opportunity to share knowledge and use it to improve our lives. Books and professional research enlighten us on how we can improve our health physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. While we must practice discernment in considering the validity of the claims (ie make sure it has undergone peer review, etc), we can use proven information. As we contemplate fresh starts and habits during the first full week of the new year, let’s consider putting good knowledge into practice. As knowledge is power, it can boost our confidence to use it and continue even when we face people who doubt in their limited knowledge or we can’t see immediately the positive outcome. Most importantly, rather than running from the truth, we can run with it as we move forward constantly growing.

 

For a health related resource, I recommend newsletters from Mayo Clinic. They have ones catered to mental health, heart health, digestive health and general health. Their notes make a good starting place on learning details.

Top 10 Books I Read in 2018

01 Tuesday Jan 2019

Posted by in books, Uncategorized

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Happy New Year! As we begin a fresh calendar year, I want to share my top reads from 2018. That way we can start our reading lists with good titles and a reminder of the plethora of wonderful reads awaiting us.

 

  1. How to Walk Away by Katherine Center: This book follows a woman my age as she finishes her MBA program. As she anticipates starting her new job and accepting her fiancé’s proposal, her dreams literally go up in flames in a plane crash. Margaret must learn to heal physically, emotionally and mentally as she learns a new way of life and builds new dreams. Talk about a reminder of human resiliency. This book demonstrates hope and holds a wonderful sweetness.
  2. Wonder by R.J. Palacio: This read also reminds readers of human strength. It proves the power of kindness, especially in small actions. Little boy August constantly deals with obstacles in life, some seen by others and some not. He faces ridicule and misunderstanding by his peers, but he maintains strength in character. I highly recommend to readers of all ages as we all need to show more kindness.
  3. This Must Be the Place by Maggie O’Farrell: A complicated family tale, this story delves into the depths of familial relationships. Daniel Sullivan encounters tragedy and triumph as he navigates his life and looks back on his mistakes and accomplishments. Through it all, we see the core of a family and how it holds together, sometimes in unexpected ways.
  4. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han: This YA gem hits the mark! It makes such a sweet, fun story, and it even introduces a character with a Korean background. Not to mention, it involves a teenage girl with admirable qualities (I find it especially refreshing to see a realistic and innocent perspective on sex). The book takes you to the thrills of high school while also exploring the angst and growth experienced during that sometimes tumultuous time. *The movie did a great job capturing all this on screen too. I’d consider Peter for a Valentine nominee this year.
  5. The Writing Desk by Rachel Hauck: This has introduced me to Hauck, and I wholeheartedly look forward to reading more of her books (I have a couple in my birthday book stack). The story goes back and forth in time between two young women embarking on writing careers and struggling to find mutual understanding with their mothers. Each one faces obstacles and yearns to stay true to her values and to develop her faith. The issues are relatable, and the women likeable.
  6. Circe by Madeline Miller: Circe serves as my pleasant surprise for the year. Getting my first deeper look into Greek mythology, I find myself more interested after reading this book. The themes of isolation, abandonment, love, connection and more play out in unique ways. I have enjoyed getting pulled into such a different story and learning some of the characters’ background.
  7. The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn: Finn’s debut also goes outside my typical realm as it fits into the mystery/thriller category. However, to my appreciation, this book doesn’t involve gory violence or other sick scenarios. In an homage to Hitchcock style movies, it explores the real pitfalls of isolation and mental health. It sends a positive message of the importance of connection. Now I want to watch some of the movies that inspired Finn.
  8. Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center: A release coming later this year, Center’s next book continues her sweet stories with positive outlooks. It explores building new relationships and forgiving people who have caused significant harm. Again, it reminds us of the power of human connection and a strength and hope to move forward.
  9. Fiercehearted by Holley Gerth: Gerth feels like a kindred spirit in her devotional style book with short chapters. Each anecdote carries such an authentic tone, and she has a unique perspective always open to learning. Seemingly ordinary details in life become opportunities to grow. She reminds me that God speaks to us at all times, willing to guide us at every step.
  10. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery: I can now say I’ve read this classic, and I love it. Anne has such a contagious positive outlook on life. Orphaned and learning from her adoptive mom Marilla how to lead a more civilized life, Anne’s imagination both gets her into trouble and keeps her head up. She takes her lessons in stride and makes so much progress.

 

Cheers to another great year of reading!

A Winsome Woman’s Wisdom: Anna Fitzgerald, Sister Keeper

31 Wednesday Oct 2018

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The girls in Mean Girls wear pink on Wednesdays. Though we think we leave drama and teenage angst behind when we graduate high school, the world continues to hand us lemons. We still struggle with maintaining a firm foundation of our values, discovering our identity, pursuing our purpose, developing relationships and more. The teenage angst lives on; therefore, we can still learn from young adults as they come of age. Let’s take a look at some ladies as they’ve forged their way into adulthood.

 

Anna Fitzgerald exists because her parents specifically created her embryo as a donor match for her older sister Kate in Jodi Picoult’s bestselling novel My Sister’s Keeper. The story follows Anna’s attempts to make donor decisions herself by filing a lawsuit against her parents. Her whole life has involved huge procedures all chosen for her; those also make it difficult for her to live life normally, almost as though she had leukemia too. Like most 13-year-olds, she feels unsure as she navigates making choices for herself, especially when tension arises due to her parents not agreeing.

In some ways, we all can relate to Anna in our desire for approval. We all seek approval from our parents, our peers, our friends even as adults. Yet we forget that we need not live by their standards. Even Queen Elizabeth I points this out to her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in The Crown when she asserts that her job requires her to make decisions based on God’s approval rather than the general public. In most cases, this would follow the wiser direction anyway considering the unapproving parties tend to not have expertise in the field they project their opinion. Mrs. Fitzgerald unquestionably cares about her daughters, but she doesn’t have the expertise to understand what will happen to Kate or Anna if they follow through with a kidney donation. In fact, the doctor said Kate had passed the point in renal failure where it would benefit her. Anna seeks counsel and help from experts, despite not having her mother’s approval.

While we want to live at peace with those around us, it serves us all to stand on our proper foundations to make our decisions rather than sway to gain temporary approval. It also does us well to seek counsel from multiple sources. Chrystal Evans Hurst wisely encourages readers to gather multiple types of people for your support team in She’s Still There, including a mentor figure ahead of you on the same career path and a friend who cheers you on by your side. Having a firm foundation and a support team makes it easier to keep moving forward and stay focused on your purpose.

Desiring approval comes naturally. So does the angst felt when we don’t get it. However, we can continue forward with strength and purpose and do better than if we allowed ourselves to waver. We have support around us to give us the guidance and encouragement we need to make progress. Making decisions doesn’t necessarily get easier, but we can rest assured knowing we base them on truth.

Recognize Potential Growth and Ask for Specific Help Achieving It

30 Tuesday Oct 2018

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In my post yesterday, I mentioned the importance of specifics that included requests for help. Today I’d like to share specific ways someone may ask for help. Whether combatting obstacles of mental illness or not, we all need community and personal growth tools. Recognizing those needs and voicing them creates opportunities to deepen relationships and fuel progress on goals. Consider asking a trusted friend specific questions like these.

 

Five Ways to Ask for Help

  1. Could I have more time? Especially with depression, motivation seems lackluster at best. It takes longer than usual to do routine tasks just to get to the rest of the to-do list. Letting someone know you work to complete the task lets them know you have not quit. It also gives them a chance to offer to collaborate.
  2. Would you look at this list with me? I’ve been exploring options for graduate school. After passing on an opportunity to attend for free years ago and recently passing after almost agreeing to go $20,000 further in debt simply because that was the convenient option rather than wait, I want to make an informed decision and one that doesn’t inadvertently create a greater stress (like a greater debt than I already have). My best friend periodically asks how my progress looks. I’ve created a document with information on the schools I consider and shared it with her. This keeps me on track and allows me to bounce ideas as well as collect more perspective. If you have a goal to pursue a new career or add to your exercise routine, ask someone to look at your options with you.
  3. Would you go to this place with me? Sometimes we hesitate to go somewhere to avoid the discomfort. Having a friend for moral support can help. If it makes it possible for you to make a necessary appointment or to try a new group to gain community, get someone to go with you.
  4. Could I tell you something? Voicing a concern makes it real, thus makes it possible to face it. Ask a trusted friend if you can share your hesitations. Then you can start exploring ways to overcome your doubt. It also gives the person a way to give you support and encouragement. Again, my friend who asks me about my school progress also reminds me of my capabilities and intellect when I share my hesitations and doubts. It helps me keep the truth push me forward rather than let the doubt hold me in place.
  5. Can I confess something? This continues the concept of voicing an emotion or struggle to deal with it rather than let it fester. When we feel angry, avoiding the emotion allows us to bury it and grow roots of bitterness. Voicing the emotion in prayer or to a trusted friend puts it in the light to expose it to truth and let it go. The same thing happens when we confess a wrong we’ve done.

Monday Motivation: More to Learn

15 Monday Oct 2018

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Anne of Green Gables sounds like a perfect spring or summer read considering the green landscape, blooming trees and adventurous Anne, but I see it makes it onto fall reading lists as well. More importantly, it has made it onto my fall reading list, made even better by doing it as a community read with fellow Modern Mrs. Darcy Book Club members. I finally have met Anne Shirley, and I must say I immensely enjoy her story thus far (I’ve read the first quarter).

Readers meet Anne when her adoptive father Matthew Cuthbert picks her up from the train station, and immediately her curious and adventurous spirit shows. Throughout her ride to Green Gables, she asks Matthew questions and marvels at the beauty of the landscape around her. Matthew answers honestly several times, saying, “I dunno” in response to the red headed child’s musings. Yet she maintains her sense of wonder. Responding to one of Matthew’s “I dunno” answers, she says:

“Well, that is one of the things to find out sometime. Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive-it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

We all have this sense of wonder to some extent, imaginative spirits or not. Thankfully, we don’t know all there is to know in this world. The quest for knowledge keeps us moving forward, hopefully developing as people in the process. As we learn more, we can understand ourselves and others more. We can continue to progress our lives, goals, careers, and relationships.

Consider spending some time gaining a better understanding of a topic, whether it involve conflict management, nutrition, spiritual growth, history, or any number of subjects. Books exist covering numerous concepts, and most cities have groups or resources we can use to gain this insight. Even simply talking to people around us and asking the question Kelly Corrigan wisely learns and explains in Tell Me More (this month’s Modern Mrs. Darcy Book Club selection), can lead to greater insight on endless topics. Let’s seek to know more!

 

What would you like to learn? On what topic would you like to gain a greater knowledge? I’d love to know; share in the comment section.

Pathways to Purpose

15 Wednesday Aug 2018

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I do not stand where I would like in my life right now. My job does not progress my career path, my city leaves a lot desired, and I hold back on pursuing most my goals due to my own self doubt. Yet I can take small steps to guide me back to my purposeful path.

These days I spend a lot of my free time volunteer tutoring at a couple places in town. Those classroom hours boost my confidence that I do belong in such a setting and that I do in fact help others. It also gives me more experience in my field. Not having a job there at the moment need not stop me from getting that face time with students.

Neither this town nor this state fulfill what I imagine for where I would live long term. However, it has surprisingly offered places that fulfill some of my needs. Not only have I found several classrooms to assist, I have found ministries to aid in my own life. A local church offers free counseling, a service that helps me stay on track healing without putting me further in debt, and that same church has started a support group where I’ll meet other women in similar situations as me for the first time. Hope exists everywhere, and I can heal in this town as I plan and conquer my next step.

I have a long way to go in conquering my own self sabotage and doubt. This involves undoing walls I have put up nearly my whole life to keep others and myself out. Clearly it will take a long time to undo and rebuild. Yet it can happen. I can make the most of my situation, continue lifelong healing and progress as I grow.

My situation right now may not exist as I want or as it should. Yet each opportunity I have can get me there slowly. I must keep my eyes open for those chances and make the most of them. The majority of a situation may not fulfill needs or progress a path, but what we do with the parts within our control can make a difference in steering and following the right path.

The Little Paris Bookshop and The Big Structure Workshop

09 Monday May 2016

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Yesterday I finished reading Nina George’s novel The Little Paris Bookshop, and for the first time I gave fewer than three stars to a book on Goodreads. While the story had some insight into loss and the healing power of books, it had no strength. This came from a lack of structure. I pointed to Jean finding Manon, additionally letting go of his lost love in the process, as the overarching story goal. Yet even he didn’t seem to pursue that objective very strongly. He went on a mostly aimless adventure and made friends along the way. The added characters provided some color, but the lack of transition from scene to scene did not. Those poor people had no foundation upon which to stand.

This reminded me of how I ought to adjust the pursuit of some of my goals. Not having set times and strategies for tasks like job hunting and novel writing made it take even longer to get started, let alone see my desired progress. If I tightened my strategies with definitive times rather than as soon as I can, I could see better results. My high aims for my routine, my writing, my career and my life can stand better on a solid structure. It also would make it easier for others to grasp beneficial ideas and insight from my structure and what’s built into it.

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Snow Blazing For Life Strides

18 Thursday Dec 2014

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I have one week left until Christmas, and snowfall last night has left hope for a white holiday. My early start time at work allows me to be one of the first out for the day. As a morning person, I somewhat enjoy this. Today I get extra introspection as I have placed the first footprints on the path leading into my apartment building. That path reminds me that sometimes I need to be a trailblazer.

Fortunately, I have walked the path from my doorstep to the parking lot several times already and know where to walk even when the pavement has a blanket of snow over it. Pausing to see the un-blazed powder, I admire the powder. This particular fall has a sparkle to its powder. I have not hesitated to make my way through its beauty. Yet my waking mind has shined its light on the fact that I usually hold back when standing on my various paths in life.

These paths may not have as clear of a pavement just beneath what I see on the surface like my apartment features, but they exist nonetheless. Focusing on the light, even when it barely shines beyond my feet, makes it possible to keep stepping forward. I get to blaze the trails that lead to work, love, success, community. Most importantly, I have a guide ahead of me that provides hope. My life has its sparkle as well.

On a personal note, I have made a couple positive strides toward a writing gig as well as a new job. They serve as first bigger steps that progress my career and writing. It’s time to stop hesitating and start moving!

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