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Kayla's Only Heart

~ Always learning. Always progressing.

Kayla's Only Heart

Tag Archives: mind

Book Review: Silencing Insecurity

12 Tuesday Nov 2019

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in books, Uncategorized

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Tags

book review, Christian, Christian living, doubt, insecurity, mind, read, reflection, Revell Reads, truth

I received Silencing Insecurity: Believing God’s Truth about You by Donna Gibbs from Revell in exchange for a review.

The insecurity topic had me at first glance when this appeared as a review option. As someone who started fighting an inner negative and untrue voice years ago, I knew I needed as much guidance in my battle as I could get. This book made great armor in its knowledge, application, and truth. Accessible, it finds a great balance between enough information to gain a greater understanding an insight for reflection and application. I found myself yearning to sit down with my journal at the end of each chapter so I could write out my reflections on the questions. The content included a lot that I already knew, but I found it pertinent and appreciated that it added to my understanding. Gibbs gently reminded her readers that adjusting a mind involves a lot more than a simple flip of a switch. Renewing the mind requires daily work.

Green Bursts Forth

05 Monday Aug 2019

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

calm, green, growth, hope, mental health, mind, peace, poem, poetry

a quiet surrounds

for once peace resounds

mind has calmed

a break from the noise

 

outside green abounds

I gaze out the window

at the growth I’ve found

reflected back in me

 

I let go, all unwound

once my fist loosens

I hit solid ground

rooted once again

 

I have no bounds

as I step up

Chester Bennington

26 Saturday Aug 2017

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics, Uncategorized

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Tags

belonging, Chester Bennington, depression, faith, hope, hopeless, hopelessness, life, light, Linkin Park, mind, music, poem, poetry, sad, sadness, success, suicide

listening back now

seems so hard to miss

that deep felt desire

for life more than this

 

so how did we not

see that darkness filling

what light was left

as hope went spilling

 

radio plays nonstop

an endless tribute stream

what now seems proof

in that musical scream

 

let us not forget

the reality of those songs

as hopelessness expresses

it feels it belongs

 

success matters not

when the mind does miss

a light, a hope, a faith

to make life worth this

The Greater The Distance

27 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

allergies, alone, anaphylaxis, anxiety, cliche, communication, depression, empathy, family, friends, happiness, health, heart, help, ignorance, improvement, issues, life, long distance, mind, PTSD, reaction, sensitive, sensitivity, support, sympathy

I kid that I am sensitive in every meaning of the word and to obnoxious extents. For example, I have a long list of foods that cause allergic reactions, including several items that push my body to the extreme in anaphylaxis. My feelings don’t differ too much unfortunately despite how strong I appear or am. Just like I can’t control that certain snacks potentially could kill me, I can’t anymore control that my brain has a chemical imbalance stemming from biological factors as well as responses to past experiences. None of these things should be held against me, yet I can’t tell you how many times those reactions have been brushed off as insignificant. The added weight of all this discredit makes me want to distance myself from people right now.

I’m smart enough to know I shouldn’t take it to heart when I get asked twenty times a day why I wear gloves while working at Home Depot. No, I’m not doing forensics or surgery. No, it’s not because I have OCD (the person you asked while pointing at me can tell you that too). These people don’t mean to “poke” me as I say. It’s unusual, and they’re curious. Maybe they also missed their class on decorum. Yet when the amount of “pokes” increases, it ends up leaving a small bruise. I simply try to protect my skin from further inflammation or from an infection from exposing it raw to money, the FILTHIEST item on the planet.

Now I need to protect my heart and mind even more than usual. Unfortunately, depression has a lot of mystery and misunderstanding surrounding it. It’s easy for someone to look at a victim and accuse them of being lazy or to tell that person to “just get over it and be happy.” If it the solution or cure held such simplicity, no problem would exist. Wellmeaninged people have told me these very sentiments. Those “suggestions” do not prove fruitful. What seems to hurt most, whether aimed at a depressed or non-depressed person, is feelings getting dismissed. Even if they’re tears spilled over a dead squirrel on the road, they’re legitimate tears. Telling your loved one otherwise may result in that person creating distance between you and him or her or may lead them to guard themselves more.

Some people, like me, have to closely monitor what they eat in the interest of preserving their lives. Anaphylaxis is a serious issue, and so is depression. It sucks that something so simple can cause so much damage. Trust me; I know. I recently have visited the ER for a nice drug cocktail injected right into my veins after eating a salad. Yes, a simple healthy salad could have killed me. I don’t mean to be morbid, but depression, anxiety and PTSD symptoms kill people too. So I have to protect myself.

Life is tough. The cliche is true. We should move on and be happy. That’s true too. The so called advice people share has a good ring to it. Yet life holds no such simplicity. People eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all the time. I’d be in incredibly serious danger if I decided to have one for my lunch. I sure hope someone wouldn’t be ignorant enough to tell me, “People eat these all the time. You shouldn’t be blocking your airwaves. Get up and continue living” if I accidentally consumed one. I hope someone doesn’t say something similar the next time I sit immobile while crying in the dark. I’d rather not make myself live life alone and make the feeling of being alone true.

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You can't make advances if you don't take chances. These posts share my perspectives of my journey as I step forward, walking in the Light.

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