Who bears such a weighted soul
Not moving forward
You knew just how much
I would miss you here
How hard it would be
To feel this empty space
You couldn’t hold me
Not anymore, even from afar
Our last night bridged by screens
Closing the distance of longing eyes
Alone after you left me cold
I no longer feel you close
All through the night
Never letting go, pulling me tight
You always turned me to you
Never taking my back but heart
So you left this shirt
An offering off your back
You knew it good on you
So you gave tangible memory
Tucked in my closet, worn to bed
You knew our love, never dead
I knew it was real
Evidenced in that moment
Frozen after we met
The mere first sight of me
Created your smile, venturing
Through your vision of two
Even still my eyes see
Light as they gaze back
Upon the day you changed
Those lips turned up
Toward a new road unfolding
Paving our whirlwind love
Yesterday, I looked happy again
I caught a moment
Looking right at the lens
Hoping your eyes may see
Sun glistened on my hair
A bright glow on my face
My honey lips upturned with joy
Pushing my apple cheeks skyward
Those rays inside burst forth
Straight through clouds of gray
That hovered in the wake of despair
But that beating warmth never dims
Love burns endlessly
Even if a soft flame consealed
Oil need not replenish the flame
What two souls do not extinguish
Tonight I decided to try another new drink, courtesy of my friend Meredith. We met up this past weekend when I visited our hometown to sip coffee (or pineapple raspberry Italian soda in my case since I wore a sweater during summer) and catch up. As we discussed what we were up to and where our eighth grade classmates were, we recapped what we had been doing and where we were headed, namely why we and my other friend, her twin sister, Erin were headed to the reality of the big dreams we imagined.
Meredith and I met fifteen years ago when I first moved to Kansas City and were in the same third grade class. We quickly became friends, making a video together with Erin and Erin’s friend Jordan during one of our first sleepovers. Now Erin works at the local movie theater as she develops her own film career, which no doubt will soon lead her back to California.
Even as elementary school kids, Meredith and I dreamed big. We bonded over our shared love of the green jeans we owned in second grade, but we also maintained a mutual desire to develop ourselves and reach those dreams in faraway places. Meredith particularly felt convicted to move back to California where she would be a star, chiefly a singer. It didn’t take us long to decide that when we grew up we would pack up our matching yellow buggies and head to California.
You could argue that we are grown up now that we are both over a year out of college and are embarking on our careers. We both develop our writing and online presence for personal endeavors, and Meredith has even found herself in New York for work. It’s only a matter of time before she finds herself back there on her way to deepening her relationship with the music industry and before I find myself back in a city to widely spread joyful perspectives through writing, social media, and personal interactions.
Meredith recently texted me, informing me that she spotted two yellow buggies on the highway. It brought to mind our young determination, a reminder I needed as I wrapped up my time at one of my recent jobs. Maybe we have had our times recently when we felt discouraged about whether or not we would attain those goals that have traveled with us for so long since it can get difficult to establish a presence. Yet we all must start somewhere. Each of us has scratched the surface in our jobs, paving the way to strong careers.
It may be more likely that Meredith returns to New York to establish herself in the music industry and that I find my way back to Kansas City or another city to grow myself as part of that community, but the dream of packing up our yellow buggies to move to California together remains the same. Even over distances and times where we didn’t talk quite as much, we have still kept in touch. We still share our pop culture references and swap commentary during the MTV VMAs; we encourage each other in our endeavors to write and to succeed.
Fifteen years after we first decided to hit the road with our dreams, we have some good travel stories (even if some are from separate travels and some include seemingly dead ends). The road ahead promises more scenery no matter the direction or destination. Here the vehicle of the dream will determine the route and success along the way. Our articles, books, albums, record productions, and more are our yellow buggies.
To see more about my friends Meredith and Erin click on the links below to read their blogs: