Tag Archives: life

The Ebb Tide Book Review

17 Wednesday May 2017

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I received a copy of The Ebb Tide by Beverly Lewis from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for an honest review.

This book introduced me to Beverly Lewis as well as Amish fiction, and I’ve enjoyed my first encounter with both. Twenty year old Sallie made a good protagonist to demonstrate a healthy curiosity for the wonders of the world around her. Her situations in the story served as good examples for people exchanging culture and living peacefully together.

Sally’s background differed from mine a lot, ranging from her having ten kids in her family while mine had two to her family living the Plain lifestyle while mine lived a pretty Christian and mainstream one. However, I could relate to her wanting to experience more than what she knew. I too spent my young adult years reading books to learn more about cultures and places. We both also got to reach our dream locations, hers being the beach and mine being London. Then it seemed like those trips led to beginnings of a greater enlightenment of the world and other cultures.

Sally lived with a family for the summer who did not live the Plain lifestyle, and she got to see more modern tools like iPhones, Google and a washing machine. She noticed how the family who hired her didn’t look at her or treat her differently because of her attire but also noticed how they had more material goods at their disposal. Later, she met a nice young man who shared a similar family background but differed. Sallie’s life really flourished in many ways through her experiences as a nanny in a beach area summer home.

Overall, I enjoyed the book. I liked learning more about Amish culture, and I appreciated how it showed a positive way to learn about other cultures through genuine interactions with others. Sallie also demonstrated a healthy yearning to learn and experience those cultures and learn about the world and its people.

See Me Sparks a Last Place Spot

10 Saturday Dec 2016

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I recently finished reading Nicholas Sparks’ second newest novel See Me. Though I consider myself a big Sparks fan, I did not enjoy this story nearly as much as his other books. Seeing him write a story with a greater thriller aspect showed a range in his talents, but the story didn’t get as deep as usual.

The characters were in their mid twenties like me, and I wouldn’t have guessed that. Colin attending college classes gives him a younger aspect, but Maria didn’t seem to hold many similarities to me or any of my friends my age. Unlike most of us, she got right into a good career track and in law, a tough field. To top off the two dimensional characters, the suspense had hit and miss elements. The mystery itself for the stalker had its strength and would have fit into the thriller genre as far as I can tell since I don’t read many books in that genre. However, it took multiple paragraphs to get to an assailant sneaking up to Maria. Even I knew the forthcoming action and didn’t feel added suspense waiting those extra descriptive paragraphs just for the actual event.

I still enjoyed the book and still love Sparks. This book just might rank last in all the ones I’ve read. I suppose one has to land there. It shows Sparks can flex his writing muscles in genres outside love stories, and it demonstrated the power of a close knit family (Maria’s) and how people and look out for and comfort each other.

Provision in Transition

03 Wednesday Aug 2016

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I recently moved south. My dad and I packed up his truck and a trailer and hauled all my precious belongings on the twelve hour drive to my new location. One of the biggest struggles involved getting my head around the fact that I would have to do it all again once or twice more within a year or so; I never liked change, especially big ones. Yet there I was facing multiple changes in jobs and homes.

This transition period included radical changes in my living arrangements. I now live with my dad, with whom I haven’t lived full time in nearly twenty years, and I have 75 percent of my belongings still in the garage. Separating from my book and movie collections, among other staples of my routine, proved difficult. The first week when I stayed at his old house had me living from my suitcase and unpacking my anxiety over the upheaval. Then I moved to the townhouse and got my clothes in the closet how I would at home. My sense of stability improved immediately.

At least a couple times a week, I found myself thinking about an item not in the current arrangement. I racked my brain about which box held the coveted item and even occasionally asked my friend who helped me pack about them. Each time I was able to remind myself that my belongings rested safe in the garage and I would have them out in due time when I got a place of my own again. I had what I needed at the moment.

That truth kept me grounded. I missed having my books and movies surrounding me, and I longed to have my place set up exactly as I wanted; yet I had what I needed. God provided me a spacious home, a comfortable bed (in a cool bedroom) and plenty of healthy food. Earlier today I finally noticed the move had made me realize and accept these truths. I caught myself contemplating the security of my phone (with stuff I still need to back up) and my preferred Ink Joy pens. Yet I stopped any anxious thoughts about them and rested in the assurance that God provided what I needed in the moment and that He would also provide provision for my belongings and my future home and routine. I learned it would continue to be a day to day provision and a day to day trust.

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The Little Paris Bookshop and The Big Structure Workshop

09 Monday May 2016

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Yesterday I finished reading Nina George’s novel The Little Paris Bookshop, and for the first time I gave fewer than three stars to a book on Goodreads. While the story had some insight into loss and the healing power of books, it had no strength. This came from a lack of structure. I pointed to Jean finding Manon, additionally letting go of his lost love in the process, as the overarching story goal. Yet even he didn’t seem to pursue that objective very strongly. He went on a mostly aimless adventure and made friends along the way. The added characters provided some color, but the lack of transition from scene to scene did not. Those poor people had no foundation upon which to stand.

This reminded me of how I ought to adjust the pursuit of some of my goals. Not having set times and strategies for tasks like job hunting and novel writing made it take even longer to get started, let alone see my desired progress. If I tightened my strategies with definitive times rather than as soon as I can, I could see better results. My high aims for my routine, my writing, my career and my life can stand better on a solid structure. It also would make it easier for others to grasp beneficial ideas and insight from my structure and what’s built into it.

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Unwrapping the Fulfilling Life 

28 Tuesday Apr 2015

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As I’ve been attending individual counseling therapy and a church class about the clinical side of emotional hurt, I’ve learned that I have layers of shame wrapped around me. More importantly, I am learning from where they stem and how I can start removing those layers so I am no longer trapped underneath them.

Some of this involves forgiveness, including myself as well as family members and people in my past. The main root of these layers comes from some painful childhood experiences as well as generally chaotic and sometimes unsafe environments in the past. Those events extended into loss of innocence and shame of having been harmed (and from not sharing) and thoughts of how life could have been or could be different “if only…”. My first main step is opening the door where I have locked away all the pain so I can finally let some of it go and become free. Then as I uncover specific details and wounds, I can break their hold of me. 

Ultimately, I will reach a point where I don’t believe the doubting voices in my head and will feel like I can confidently pursue my goals and feel worthy of myself, my efforts, my contributions to the world. I can also break the unconscious vows I made to myself in attempts of protecting myself from further pain. I have vowed not to make children experience what I did as a child, thus making it impossible for me to know if I even want children. Once I let that go, I can see that I can still have a fulfilling family and create a safe and happy home environment (the latter of which I have accomplished as I made my own home in college but have later realized it also includes self imposed isolation as a family of one). In turn, allowing myself to have what I block in the interest of protection gives me an opportunity to lead a more fulfilling and connected life, built up by being plugged in. 

Hopelessness may lead to more despair and self-pity, even self-hatred. Yet I have hope that as I unwrap those layers and leave them somewhere that’s not a shadowy party of my heart (as seemingly comforting as they can trick my mind into feeling with their familiarity), I can wrap myself in more positive life experiences and be better equipped to weather the difficult ones. 

Uncovering the Pain: The Full Experience in the Present

12 Sunday Apr 2015

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            I, like many others, tend to bury my negative emotions. In some ways, I was trained never to express such sentiments. While the intention for me to inhibit these expressions has good thought, not dealing with them leads to further pain. I currently experience present pain as a result of past pain. This makes it difficult to simply “get over” those situations. Now I learn that fully experiencing these emotions plays a central role in unraveling the shame associated with them and conquering the subsequent fears. Then I can continue moving forward in a positive manner.

            I encourage you to allow yourself to experience your emotions so they can come and go. As you do this with me, pay close attention to your reactions. Keeping your perception and emotion rooted in truth plays a key role in not letting the negative experiences leave a festering wound. Understanding the way you filter your feelings may also help you uncover how you express affection and realize how to inhibit that less as well. Properly handling reactions and emotions will help us grow positively rather than stagnate in pain.

*reading reflection on Living in the Freedom of the Spirit by Tom Marshall