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Kayla's Only Heart

~ Always learning. Always progressing.

Kayla's Only Heart

Tag Archives: kindness

A Coffee Stained Heart

13 Sunday Oct 2019

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics, Uncategorized

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coffee, happy, heart, hope, kindness, kiss, love, lover, poem, poetry, romance, romantic, smile

I knew at once

you were the one

the nervous smile

fronting a quiet kindness

 

A coffee spot lingered

opposite your heart

endearing you to me

as you listened, waiting

 

hoping you see too

a sign for more

an opening to turn

the handshake to a kiss

 

The words flow

laying a path

set to smiles

leading to love

 

 

July 10, 2019

 

 

 

Top 10 Books I Read in 2018

01 Tuesday Jan 2019

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in books, Uncategorized

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2018, A.J. Finn, angst, Anne of Green Gables, authentic, best of, books, career, Christian fiction, Circe, classic, connection, dreams, faith, family, Fiercehearted, Greek mythology, growth, healing, high school, Holly Gerth, How to Walk Away, imagination, innocence, isolation, Jenny Han, Katherine Center, kindness, L.M. Montgomery, literature, Madeline Miller, Maggie O'Farrell, mental health, mystery, obstacles, opportunities, perspective, progress, R.J. Palacio, Rachel Hauck, relationships, resiliency, strength, The Woman in the Window, The Writing Desk, This Must Be the Place, thriller, To All the Boys I've Loved Before, wonder, YA

Happy New Year! As we begin a fresh calendar year, I want to share my top reads from 2018. That way we can start our reading lists with good titles and a reminder of the plethora of wonderful reads awaiting us.

 

  1. How to Walk Away by Katherine Center: This book follows a woman my age as she finishes her MBA program. As she anticipates starting her new job and accepting her fiancé’s proposal, her dreams literally go up in flames in a plane crash. Margaret must learn to heal physically, emotionally and mentally as she learns a new way of life and builds new dreams. Talk about a reminder of human resiliency. This book demonstrates hope and holds a wonderful sweetness.
  2. Wonder by R.J. Palacio: This read also reminds readers of human strength. It proves the power of kindness, especially in small actions. Little boy August constantly deals with obstacles in life, some seen by others and some not. He faces ridicule and misunderstanding by his peers, but he maintains strength in character. I highly recommend to readers of all ages as we all need to show more kindness.
  3. This Must Be the Place by Maggie O’Farrell: A complicated family tale, this story delves into the depths of familial relationships. Daniel Sullivan encounters tragedy and triumph as he navigates his life and looks back on his mistakes and accomplishments. Through it all, we see the core of a family and how it holds together, sometimes in unexpected ways.
  4. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han: This YA gem hits the mark! It makes such a sweet, fun story, and it even introduces a character with a Korean background. Not to mention, it involves a teenage girl with admirable qualities (I find it especially refreshing to see a realistic and innocent perspective on sex). The book takes you to the thrills of high school while also exploring the angst and growth experienced during that sometimes tumultuous time. *The movie did a great job capturing all this on screen too. I’d consider Peter for a Valentine nominee this year.
  5. The Writing Desk by Rachel Hauck: This has introduced me to Hauck, and I wholeheartedly look forward to reading more of her books (I have a couple in my birthday book stack). The story goes back and forth in time between two young women embarking on writing careers and struggling to find mutual understanding with their mothers. Each one faces obstacles and yearns to stay true to her values and to develop her faith. The issues are relatable, and the women likeable.
  6. Circe by Madeline Miller: Circe serves as my pleasant surprise for the year. Getting my first deeper look into Greek mythology, I find myself more interested after reading this book. The themes of isolation, abandonment, love, connection and more play out in unique ways. I have enjoyed getting pulled into such a different story and learning some of the characters’ background.
  7. The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn: Finn’s debut also goes outside my typical realm as it fits into the mystery/thriller category. However, to my appreciation, this book doesn’t involve gory violence or other sick scenarios. In an homage to Hitchcock style movies, it explores the real pitfalls of isolation and mental health. It sends a positive message of the importance of connection. Now I want to watch some of the movies that inspired Finn.
  8. Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center: A release coming later this year, Center’s next book continues her sweet stories with positive outlooks. It explores building new relationships and forgiving people who have caused significant harm. Again, it reminds us of the power of human connection and a strength and hope to move forward.
  9. Fiercehearted by Holley Gerth: Gerth feels like a kindred spirit in her devotional style book with short chapters. Each anecdote carries such an authentic tone, and she has a unique perspective always open to learning. Seemingly ordinary details in life become opportunities to grow. She reminds me that God speaks to us at all times, willing to guide us at every step.
  10. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery: I can now say I’ve read this classic, and I love it. Anne has such a contagious positive outlook on life. Orphaned and learning from her adoptive mom Marilla how to lead a more civilized life, Anne’s imagination both gets her into trouble and keeps her head up. She takes her lessons in stride and makes so much progress.

 

Cheers to another great year of reading!

Thoughtful Thursday: Specific Action

01 Thursday Nov 2018

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Uncategorized

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action, community, kindness, relationships, thoughtful

This week we’ve explored specific communication and specific requests. Now we can consider our friends and specific actions we can take to help. Everyone can use a loving hand in some capacity, and it offers a chance to deepen a bond as you lift them up. Plus, doing a kind deed for someone lifts your spirits too.

When I first moved to Houston two years ago, my dad and I both stood in a transition place between homes. I ended up in the townhouse we shared first, which meant neither my dad nor his kitchen basics had joined me yet. My cousin listened to me and understood it felt important to me to feel like I found a new home, so she brought a couple bowls, plates, cups and more to the townhouse from her own kitchen. These simple dishes made me feel like I had more autonomy and normalcy; I could eat my oatmeal the way I liked. Getting back into my routine made me feel better, and I got there because someone listened and shared what she could. She welcomed me to the community.

Consider listening to a friend or family member and hearing a need you might meet. This can range from paying attention to the weather changing causing your runner friend to adjust her exercise wardrobe and picking up a long sleeve running shirt. Maybe someone you know mentions a desire to lose weight. You can offer to cook a healthy meal for her or try a new recipe together. With a greater focus on those around us, these small actions remind your loved ones that they need not do life alone and that someone cares. 

 

This concept comes easier to some people than others. Perhaps it relates to the love languages and some people speaking acts of service better. Acts of service ranks last on what I speak well. However, if I focus on it more, I can still find ways to perform acts of service. A woman in one of my groups has mentioned a desire to lose weight and maintain a healthier lifestyle. I’d like to invite her to come to my place for dinner before an upcoming meeting or to walk at a park, weather permitting.

What can you do for someone you know who may need some extra encouragement?

Thoughtful Thursday: Fill out the Survey, Fill Up the Heart

04 Thursday Oct 2018

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Uncategorized

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kindness, retail, survey, thoughtful

A lot of retail, dining and customer service oriented companies offer surveys to their customers. Most people ignore these questions and the chance to give back some of the same help someone just offered. Sure, those people help for their jobs and most customers have busy schedules. However, most the surveys take about two minutes, five tops. Adding a kindly worded comment for the representative can uplift their day.

Unfortunately, most customer service workers have undesirable schedules, face rude customers all throughout their shifts and take all this on for little pay. Your kind words can remind them their help does improve someone’s day. It can show them that not all customers treat them as less than. For a mostly thankless job with little positive feedback, a kind comment on the survey can give the encouragement to keep going.

Consider filling out the survey the next time someone offers you one. Tell the person who provided you excellent service that you appreciate what they did. Two minutes of your time can lift up their spirits among all the people who tend to forget to show any thanks. Neither your deed nor theirs will go unnoticed. A kind word acknowledges that.

Wonder Book Review: Kinder Than Necessary

22 Thursday Mar 2018

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in books, Journal, Uncategorized

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book club, book review, bookish, books, differences, different, health, kindness, Knopf, library, Warren County Public Library, wonder

I recently have read and fallen into awe over R.J. Palacio’s Wonder for the KIRB Appeal Book Club at Warren County Public Library. This story follows an inspiring young boy named Auggie Pullman who suffers from a myriad of health issues resulting in severe facial deformities as he ventures into public school the first time as he enters fifth grade. Though much younger than me, Auggie reminds readers of all ages of the importance of being kinder than necessary. He faces his obstacles, much like anyone faces personal issues, as he hides them, thus blocking his connection to others and his way to see how to overcome his struggles, understands his differences and how he may have to take care of himself differently than other people do, learns not to let mean people ruin his otherwise good days, and adjusts his perspective on people’s reactions to his visible struggles and differences all the while demonstrating the power of kindness.

Toward the beginning of the story, Auggie shares how he lets his hair fall into his face because “it helps me block out the things I don’t want to see” (21). He even shares that he had the forethought to grow it out so he could do that; he wanted to hide his face and his struggle with his health issues. This makes sense; no one likes to have people stare at them. I too know what it feels like; I simply wear gloves at work and catch people glancing at them in contemplation of why I would wear them. Most of them end up asking questions about them, rarely seeming to understand I do it to protect my skin and health (not wearing them results in numerous bleeding cracks, which sometimes lead to bubbly staph infections…all of which hurt). It feels easier to hide the problem and try to ignore it. Yet, it can’t really go away. Auggie hiding his face may have kept people from quickly noticing his difference, but it also kept him from engaging in the world around him. With the hair over his eyes, he not only couldn’t see people’s silly stares, he couldn’t see his own world or goals. As he discovers, people stare either way. I have received as many questions about my cracked hands before I wore gloves as I have while wearing the gloves; I have decided I’d rather get asked about the gloves and not have the infections. This allows me to get through my days more successfully. Auggie does the same thing by putting his best face forward and going to his school every day rather than going back to homeschooling and not having a school community or group of friends.

By showing up to school and taking care of himself, Auggie demonstrates his understanding that he is a little different than most people. His cleft palate and other issues make it harder for him to eat. Therefore, he must chew his food with his front teeth rather than in the back of his mouth like most people. Some people may react to this since it normally might get perceived as rude or might get crumbs on the table. However, not eating this way could result in him choking. Auggie understands that he must take care of his choking risk with greater care than the average person. Again, I sympathize with my skin issues. I must protect mine more than the average person. I might get some silly stares and questions for my unusual use of gloves, but not wearing them increases my risk of illness and infection. So I must understand that I might have to care for myself a little differently or with more effort.

In his higher level of understanding from being different from the other kids, Auggie achieves a level of perspective and peace I have yet to perfect. He realizes most people don’t mean to be rude or mean when they point at him because of the difference they see in him. He notes that they don’t laugh when they point and reflects that if a Wookie went to his school he may do the same thing out of curiosity (62). This bit of wisdom seems to keep him from letting those people bother him. He takes his difference in stride. He may look odd and may have to care for himself in ways others don’t expect or find odd, but he knows what he has to do and rolls with it.

Auggie’s ability to roll with the punches doesn’t come without its rough days though. He almost quits school after learning about some kids making fun of him behind his back. He also suffers physical harm at the hands of bullies from another school, almost taking away his great joy from the rest of that weekend’s activities with his friends. Auggie’s sweet, supportive mom reminds him, “No, sweetie, don’t let them do that to you. You were there for more than forty-eight hours, and that awful part lasted one hour. Don’t let them take that away from you, okay?” (277). The comments and stares I get come as part of the beauty of working retail. I admit I have let some of the ignorant and mean comments stew in my mind longer than they should. I have worked to hold a perspective closer to that of Auggie’s. Usually for each time someone says something ignorant, I can find someone who authentically thanks me for my help or kindness. I also remind myself that most these people are fortunate enough to not be able to relate to my health issues and therefore don’t understand the depth or complexity of them.

The reality exists that we all face some sort of difficulty on some sort of regular basis. Some of these struggles others can see, while others people can’t. As Wonder shows, everyone gets bullied to some extent, whether by intentional meanness or the ignorant variety, at some point. That demonstrates the importance of this story’s lesson: to show a little more kindness than is necessary. Auggie’s teacher Mr. Tushman quotes the James Barrie story The Little White Bird to emphasize this idea’s origin. Then he shares an example of Joseph in the movie Under the Eye of the Clock where someone does a small act of kindness for Joseph and how that one small gesture tremendously impacts Joseph. Mr. Tushman quotes, “‘It was at moments such as these that Joseph recognized the face of God in human form. It glimmered in their kindness to him, it glowed in their keenness, it hinted in their caring, indeed it caressed in their gaze'” (300). Auggie’s perspective on others’ treatment of him and his reactions to others demonstrate the difference kindness can make on people.

We all face difficulties, and we all have aspects of ourselves and our experiences that make us different from others. Like Auggie, we can grow our perspectives on them so we don’t let those differences hinder our ability to engage with our lives and to take care of ourselves. Books like this help us remember that we all face challenges and we can all show kindness to each other. Ignorant or mean remarks don’t have to ruin our otherwise good days, and a little extra kindness truly can make someone’s day or life a little brighter. Let’s all be a little kinder than necessary.

 

***Each year, members of KIRB Appeal collect spare change in jars to donate to a charity at the end of the year. Since we have read this book first this year, we are donating to a charity that helps kids with cleft palates.

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You can't make advances if you don't take chances. These posts share my perspectives of my journey as I step forward, walking in the Light.

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