• About

Kayla's Only Heart

~ Always learning. Always progressing.

Kayla's Only Heart

Tag Archives: Jesus

False Identity

01 Saturday Oct 2016

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

accepted, association, blessed, burden, Christian, Christian living, Christianity, confess, confession, DBT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, emotion, God, identity, Isaiah 1:18, Jesus, lies, negativity, past, relationship, sin, therapy, white as snow

Through Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), I have learned the importance of not identifying myself with an emotion. Just because I am sad doesn’t mean I’m a sad person. It may sound strange, but I can take on extra weight by taking on these emotions and their associations. Tonight I have realized the same concept applies to not identifying with sin in my life.

It becomes easy to turn my sin into a noun that describes myself. I’ve told a lie in the past; liar must suit me as a title. The same can go for numerous other negative descriptions. Yet only the enemy wants me to believe that; taking on the lie leads me to avoid God. It makes me carry the weight of the sin and take on the burden of negative titles. God doesn’t want that for me, and it is not how He sees me. If I confess to Him rather than avoid Him and insist upon carrying my own burden, He will take it all away. As He reminds me in Isaiah 1:18, He will wash my sins white as snow. That means they’re gone. He won’t remind me of them, and I have nothing left to remind me of them either.

Now I will sin again of  course, just like I will inevitably feel sad or angry again. I just need to remember that I am a blessed child that is always accepted and always has her Father to whom she can turn. His son has already died to take the burden of my sins, so I do not need to carry them. My identity does not come from my sin or emotion but from my relationship with God. That will never change.

20160929_114757

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

1 John 1:9

Lent Reflection: Meetings

18 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Essay, Journal, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Celebrate Recovery, Christian, Christian living, Christianity, church, community, depression, fasting, focus, friends, God, grace, growth, healing, hope, Jesus, Lent, light, meetings, perspective, recovery, scripture, stability, structure

Lent started just over a week ago, and today I start a new project of sorts to give me a better focus on God during this special time (yes, it’s okay to start late). Rather than fast from a particular food or activity during this season, I typically carve out some extra time to focus on God by using my spiritual gift of encouragement. This project I’ve mentioned involves taking that in a different direction. I plan to carve out time a couple times each week to reflect on my healing, how God has fulfilled it. For me, that is best done through writing or journaling (which I already do on a daily basis in the interest of maintaining my overall health).

The past couple weeks, I’ve contemplated the importance of regular meetings. “Meeting” can allude to an array of subjects to discuss at said gatherings. While I have noticed that having regular meeting times provides my life more structure and meaning, I have also contemplated the effect of regular meeting times for worship and community with God’s family.

In college, I found it easier to manage my symptoms of depression, anxiety and PTSD.  I created a routine and stuck to it, successfully accomplishing my goals to regularly exercise, pray, have mealtimes with friends, maintain my leadership position at Campus Christian Fellowship, attend worship services throughout the week and complete my school work and projects. I felt good about these tasks and my activities; I felt connected and enriched. I could see my growth. I have only recently noticed the pattern of meeting in the context of worship and spiritual growth having a significant role in keeping my focus and perspective on track. I was regularly reminded of Scripture and how God’s love fulfills it on a daily basis. I also met with a counselor and mentor to help me apply that to my life to keep my focus on the light rather than the darkness that tends to hover around me. All those meetings took up a considerable amount of time, but they made it possible for me to continue moving forward, and, most importantly, in the light.

The transition from college to the so-called “real world” can prove rough for everyone. Fortunately, I know I am not alone. Several friends have shared my struggle in finding a meaningful job or selecting the direction they want to take their careers. Transition of any sort has its difficulties. I just can’t help but see the importance and benefit of transitioning into more meetings to maintain the structure and stability of corporate worship and community. Even someone at a recent support group meeting mentioned how attending three different support groups every week for a while made it possible for her to step away from her destructive path; she even emphasized that continuing to attend meetings (this is more than fifteen years later) keeps her on that track. Sadly, as this same person shared, she’s been around long enough to see people get sober from drugs for years and then go back once they stop attending meetings. We all need constant meetings to keep our focus and accountability in perspective.

That brings me to a new goal. The past several weeks, I have adjusted my schedule to make it easier for me to regularly attend the church service where I feel most comfortable and the Celebrate Recovery program I feel most at home. Even a couple weeks of attending both meetings gave me a better structure and a sense of stability to keep me on track to progress my healing. I know I will add more meetings, but that gives me a good start. I can also rest assured that both those meetings maintain a focus on God’s grace and love.

 

Lent is a time to fast and focus. God can use focus and perspective through meetings to keep us on track. What meeting can you commit to attending, even just during Lent to give your time to improve your relationship with God and your life?

 

Capture My Heart

16 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Christian living, Christianity, eternal love, father, gifts, God, grace, hope, Jesus, light, lonely, love, Operation Christmas Child, poem, poetry, relationship, Samaritan's Purse, saved, Savior, shoeboxes

Operation Christmas Child’s National Collection Week starts tomorrow. This poem prays for the children around the world who will receive shoebox gifts and a message about Jesus Christ, the greatest gift of all. Visit the Samaritan’s Purse page to learn more about how you can touch a life with God’s love.

Made by God my heart sits

Lonely and unsure inside me

A great hope it knows not yet

For Jesus I have not met

Desired by God my heart waits

Anxious and warm beating me

This relationship’s not yet made

With this Father who won’t fade

Accepted by Jesus my heart opens

Saved and loved completely whole

A new creature and life renewed

Through blood shed and grace imbued

Now to you my heart spills

Shining light and inviting you

To an eternal love you have not yet

With Savior, Father, Counselor now met

IMG_4927.JPG

Gray Skies Proclaim Deliverance

10 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Essay, Journal

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

answered prayer, bible, change, Christian, Christian living, clouds, darkness, deliverance, glory, God, hope, Jesus, light, open door, opportunity, prayer, progress, Psalms, sky, stress, transition, work

My morning commutes to work give me time to admire the beauty of the sunrise God paints every morning as He reminds me He has gifted me with another day. Especially this week, I have witnessed the sky’s proclamation of God’s glory. This week maintains such a mix of gray clouds and light reflective of confusion and spiritual warfare in life. My week and weekend has included aspects of both, making the morning skies even more reflective of God’s ever-presence. The gray masses of positive stress adapting to my new job, spiritual warfare experienced by myself and co-workers as we band together to spread the Gospel, and confusion about pursuing new writing goals hover over my head much like the morning’s clouds. Yet light always bursts forth. As Psalm 19:1-2 sings,

The heavens declare the glory of God;

The skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

Night after night they display knowledge.

This emphasizes my personal connection to God’s glory, reflection on it, and my writing aspirations.

This week we have some weather reprieve from some rainfall; this provides more change in the sky as the clouds develop and move. My week has had its share of stress as well, notably from emotional buildup and schedule adjustments. A few times, I have gotten in my car and shared with God that He knew how I felt and painted the sky for me, maybe further pushing me to write about it later. I always note the light coming through the center of a dark cloud or a bright silver lining around a raincloud and am thankful that God is light and that darkness will never overcome that light. Even when the gray clouds merge into one, God will make sense of it all. My biggest example of this comes from the end of the week where the sky was simply gray when I left for work. Just a ways down the road, I noticed the blue above me. I could let go of my confusion because God has already answered my prayers.

At work and in my personal life, God clearly has answered several of my prayers that have been weighing on my heart lately. It seems like as soon as I was more open to letting Him use me and me placing my brokenness and desires in His hands, the more He enlightened me and the more He opened doors for me. These revelations most notably came through encouraging interactions with friends and co-workers.

To give an idea of my heart lately, I have been contemplating several writing projects, healing from heartbreak, settling into my new job, and joyously adapting to my regular working hours routine. Again, this all creates positive stress, but it involves a lot of transition at one time. God has spoken to me through His portraits in the sky (an artistic fitting way for a reflective writer like me) and the conversations I have. A friend of mine has casually told me that I should write the novel I’ve had growing in my mind, just the little push of courage I need to get past my first line I’ve had for a while; my boss has found ways to utilize my writing and editing skills and noted me for a volunteer position with our organization that would get me the media exposure and experience I need; I have been reminded of the continual purpose of certain relationships with people; a couple people I recently met have reached out to me in what might be an answer to my prayer for a mentors relationship. God has reminded me that my heart for Him and how I share His love is a testament to Him and can touch other people; I have even met another person at my work who is helping me find outlets to publish my work. Doors are opening, and God is showing His glory.

What stands out to me most throughout all this is how much God honors our efforts to be open to His plan. One of my co-workers pointed out that we should all know good things are ahead when because some of us were going through some spiritual warfare. She is so spot-on. Just look at how God has delivered me again this week and shown me opportunities to glorify Him. As I open myself to Him and His plan for me, He honors my efforts to share His love, especially as I do that through the support of His body and the power of prayer. Now I pray that God will continue to give me courage and strength to pursue the use of my gifts and that they ultimately point to Him. I lift up the end of Psalm 19, verse 14:

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

Be pleasing in your sight,

O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

to remind us that God holds us firmly and delivers us that we may serve Him. May the skies and the efforts of our gifts proclaim His glory forever.

20140810-160953-58193226.jpg

20140810-160952-58192892.jpg

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 894 other followers

You can't make advances if you don't take chances. These posts share my perspectives of my journey as I step forward, walking in the Light.

Recent Posts

  • Recommended Reading: February 5, 2021
  • Book Review: Marilla of Green Gables
  • Book Review: Because of Winn-Dixie
  • Book Review: Keeper of the Lost Cities
  • Book Review: Love Lettering

Categories

  • Beauty
  • books
  • Essay
  • Journal
  • Monday Motivation
  • Photography
  • Playlists
  • Poetry/Lyrics
  • Reading Recommendations
  • The Great American Reader
  • Uncategorized
  • Winsome Women Wednesday

RSS my weekly nail creations

  • Starlit Darkness 
              As it felt like I continued to fall deeper into darkness, I reminded myself to keep dreaming positively. My stars matched my pajamas to encourage my sleeping dreams as well.  The following weekend I ventured out with my friends to attend a Taking Back Sunday and The Used concert. Surrounding […]
    KaylasOnlyHeart
  • Falling
          These plain manicures go back to the fall. The season marked a time of change and a new look at my world. Perhaps the perspective in what I held in my hands stole some of the focus and expression I would normally have for my nail art.  I went from a bold […]
    KaylasOnlyHeart
  • Plain Sparkles
    After the Top Shelf plain manicure, I had another plain one with some sparkles added. I just didn’t feel spirited enough to enjoy my me time. I still made myself go through the motions though. I might not have been applying makeup regularly, but I kept my nails polished. The little touches kept me from […]
    KaylasOnlyHeart

Facebook

Facebook

Twitter Updates

  • "Never limit yourself because of others' limited imagination." Mae Jemison #wednesdaythought #quotes 1 day ago
  • #SongOfTheDay: "Great Indoors" by @JohnMayer #wednesdaythought youtu.be/Z508y1JDdxk 1 day ago
  • #SongOfTheDay: "Remember to Breathe" by @dashboardmusic youtu.be/ObgOhEFa2-M 2 days ago
  • I'm ready to learn how to create my capsule bookshelf with my fellow Modern Mrs. Darcy Book Club members.… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 days ago
  • #songoftheday: "The Best Deceptions" by @dashboardmusic youtu.be/X2EcK6nOcXk 3 days ago
Follow @KaylasOnlyHeart

Goodreads

No Instagram images were found.

RSS Pendey in Kensia

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.

Blog Stats

  • 9,611 hits

Blog Stats

  • 9,611 hits

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel

 
Loading Comments...
Comment
    ×
    Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
    To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy