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Kayla's Only Heart

~ Always learning. Always progressing.

Kayla's Only Heart

Tag Archives: improvement

Monday Motivation: Run with the Truth

07 Monday Jan 2019

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Uncategorized

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Tags

goals, habits, health, improvement, knowledge, Monday Motivation, progress

“Men occasionally stumble on the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”

Sir Winston Churchill

 

With so many resources available to us, we have a significant opportunity to share knowledge and use it to improve our lives. Books and professional research enlighten us on how we can improve our health physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. While we must practice discernment in considering the validity of the claims (ie make sure it has undergone peer review, etc), we can use proven information. As we contemplate fresh starts and habits during the first full week of the new year, let’s consider putting good knowledge into practice. As knowledge is power, it can boost our confidence to use it and continue even when we face people who doubt in their limited knowledge or we can’t see immediately the positive outcome. Most importantly, rather than running from the truth, we can run with it as we move forward constantly growing.

 

For a health related resource, I recommend newsletters from Mayo Clinic. They have ones catered to mental health, heart health, digestive health and general health. Their notes make a good starting place on learning details.

The Greater The Distance

27 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal

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Tags

allergies, alone, anaphylaxis, anxiety, cliche, communication, depression, empathy, family, friends, happiness, health, heart, help, ignorance, improvement, issues, life, long distance, mind, PTSD, reaction, sensitive, sensitivity, support, sympathy

I kid that I am sensitive in every meaning of the word and to obnoxious extents. For example, I have a long list of foods that cause allergic reactions, including several items that push my body to the extreme in anaphylaxis. My feelings don’t differ too much unfortunately despite how strong I appear or am. Just like I can’t control that certain snacks potentially could kill me, I can’t anymore control that my brain has a chemical imbalance stemming from biological factors as well as responses to past experiences. None of these things should be held against me, yet I can’t tell you how many times those reactions have been brushed off as insignificant. The added weight of all this discredit makes me want to distance myself from people right now.

I’m smart enough to know I shouldn’t take it to heart when I get asked twenty times a day why I wear gloves while working at Home Depot. No, I’m not doing forensics or surgery. No, it’s not because I have OCD (the person you asked while pointing at me can tell you that too). These people don’t mean to “poke” me as I say. It’s unusual, and they’re curious. Maybe they also missed their class on decorum. Yet when the amount of “pokes” increases, it ends up leaving a small bruise. I simply try to protect my skin from further inflammation or from an infection from exposing it raw to money, the FILTHIEST item on the planet.

Now I need to protect my heart and mind even more than usual. Unfortunately, depression has a lot of mystery and misunderstanding surrounding it. It’s easy for someone to look at a victim and accuse them of being lazy or to tell that person to “just get over it and be happy.” If it the solution or cure held such simplicity, no problem would exist. Wellmeaninged people have told me these very sentiments. Those “suggestions” do not prove fruitful. What seems to hurt most, whether aimed at a depressed or non-depressed person, is feelings getting dismissed. Even if they’re tears spilled over a dead squirrel on the road, they’re legitimate tears. Telling your loved one otherwise may result in that person creating distance between you and him or her or may lead them to guard themselves more.

Some people, like me, have to closely monitor what they eat in the interest of preserving their lives. Anaphylaxis is a serious issue, and so is depression. It sucks that something so simple can cause so much damage. Trust me; I know. I recently have visited the ER for a nice drug cocktail injected right into my veins after eating a salad. Yes, a simple healthy salad could have killed me. I don’t mean to be morbid, but depression, anxiety and PTSD symptoms kill people too. So I have to protect myself.

Life is tough. The cliche is true. We should move on and be happy. That’s true too. The so called advice people share has a good ring to it. Yet life holds no such simplicity. People eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all the time. I’d be in incredibly serious danger if I decided to have one for my lunch. I sure hope someone wouldn’t be ignorant enough to tell me, “People eat these all the time. You shouldn’t be blocking your airwaves. Get up and continue living” if I accidentally consumed one. I hope someone doesn’t say something similar the next time I sit immobile while crying in the dark. I’d rather not make myself live life alone and make the feeling of being alone true.

Stepping Into Structure

20 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal

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Tags

accomplishment, anticipation, anxiety, Back to the Future, depression, direction, Dunkin Donuts, goals, GROUPLOVE, improvement, life, movies, PTSD, routine, self help, self improvement, starting point, structure, writing

I’m at Dunkin Donuts for my high tea and writing hour again. GROUPLOVE’s song “Ways To Go” just started playing as I contemplated the topic for this post. The title alone reminds me that I indeed have a ways to go before I feel “normal” again, well normal for me at least. At this point, I have to tell myself to take one day at a time and consider each task I do an accomplishment, even if it’s simply “I went to the gym today. That’s good.” Otherwise, it seems too daunting to improve so many aspects of my life at one time.

My overall goal is to knock out my depression, anxiety, and PTSD symptoms. This entails tasks in just about every facet of my life. Right now I see that structure and regularity will give me grounding for performing in this three ring circus where I seem to star. I previously mentioned that having my journaling and writing time every day alleviates some of my anxiety. That gives at least part of my day some structure, and that makes my standing stronger. Next is to add more to it (and my regular exercise routine).

Regular events or tasks can be anything. I love mornings and treasure my two minutes to sip on my coffee before I am ready to tackle the day. Those quiet moments that happen without fail guarantee me a good starting point, whether I get to enjoy my makeup application or not. Watching a weekly TV show one night can provide structure as well. A local movie theater has been playing the Back to the Future trilogy for the past couple weeks on their Retro Thursday night. As those are some of my favorite films, I have gone to each one. Anticipating the movie and getting out of the house give me a positive distraction, especially as I sit on the edge of my seat lost in the action of the movie. As the films wrap up this week, I have to find another weekly event to enjoy. Perhaps I can find a book club or some such similar group; it would provide meaningful interaction as well.

It may seem odd to focus on the seemingly superfluous aspects of life first, but they’re more steady. They provide a structure, and they give me some extra support. Then I can add more therapy sessions and such, knowing I still have time with people and fun distractions already in motion. That means I can add more and more accomplishments to each day.

Life can get daunting, especially when at the starting point of so many aspects. Take it one item and one day at a time, and use that to create a standing point for yourself. Then you can pivot different directions to tackle each area of your life and goals.

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You can't make advances if you don't take chances. These posts share my perspectives of my journey as I step forward, walking in the Light.

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              As it felt like I continued to fall deeper into darkness, I reminded myself to keep dreaming positively. My stars matched my pajamas to encourage my sleeping dreams as well.  The following weekend I ventured out with my friends to attend a Taking Back Sunday and The Used concert. Surrounding […]
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