Tag Archives: healing

Top 10 Books I Read in 2018

01 Tuesday Jan 2019

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Happy New Year! As we begin a fresh calendar year, I want to share my top reads from 2018. That way we can start our reading lists with good titles and a reminder of the plethora of wonderful reads awaiting us.

 

  1. How to Walk Away by Katherine Center: This book follows a woman my age as she finishes her MBA program. As she anticipates starting her new job and accepting her fiancé’s proposal, her dreams literally go up in flames in a plane crash. Margaret must learn to heal physically, emotionally and mentally as she learns a new way of life and builds new dreams. Talk about a reminder of human resiliency. This book demonstrates hope and holds a wonderful sweetness.
  2. Wonder by R.J. Palacio: This read also reminds readers of human strength. It proves the power of kindness, especially in small actions. Little boy August constantly deals with obstacles in life, some seen by others and some not. He faces ridicule and misunderstanding by his peers, but he maintains strength in character. I highly recommend to readers of all ages as we all need to show more kindness.
  3. This Must Be the Place by Maggie O’Farrell: A complicated family tale, this story delves into the depths of familial relationships. Daniel Sullivan encounters tragedy and triumph as he navigates his life and looks back on his mistakes and accomplishments. Through it all, we see the core of a family and how it holds together, sometimes in unexpected ways.
  4. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han: This YA gem hits the mark! It makes such a sweet, fun story, and it even introduces a character with a Korean background. Not to mention, it involves a teenage girl with admirable qualities (I find it especially refreshing to see a realistic and innocent perspective on sex). The book takes you to the thrills of high school while also exploring the angst and growth experienced during that sometimes tumultuous time. *The movie did a great job capturing all this on screen too. I’d consider Peter for a Valentine nominee this year.
  5. The Writing Desk by Rachel Hauck: This has introduced me to Hauck, and I wholeheartedly look forward to reading more of her books (I have a couple in my birthday book stack). The story goes back and forth in time between two young women embarking on writing careers and struggling to find mutual understanding with their mothers. Each one faces obstacles and yearns to stay true to her values and to develop her faith. The issues are relatable, and the women likeable.
  6. Circe by Madeline Miller: Circe serves as my pleasant surprise for the year. Getting my first deeper look into Greek mythology, I find myself more interested after reading this book. The themes of isolation, abandonment, love, connection and more play out in unique ways. I have enjoyed getting pulled into such a different story and learning some of the characters’ background.
  7. The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn: Finn’s debut also goes outside my typical realm as it fits into the mystery/thriller category. However, to my appreciation, this book doesn’t involve gory violence or other sick scenarios. In an homage to Hitchcock style movies, it explores the real pitfalls of isolation and mental health. It sends a positive message of the importance of connection. Now I want to watch some of the movies that inspired Finn.
  8. Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center: A release coming later this year, Center’s next book continues her sweet stories with positive outlooks. It explores building new relationships and forgiving people who have caused significant harm. Again, it reminds us of the power of human connection and a strength and hope to move forward.
  9. Fiercehearted by Holley Gerth: Gerth feels like a kindred spirit in her devotional style book with short chapters. Each anecdote carries such an authentic tone, and she has a unique perspective always open to learning. Seemingly ordinary details in life become opportunities to grow. She reminds me that God speaks to us at all times, willing to guide us at every step.
  10. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery: I can now say I’ve read this classic, and I love it. Anne has such a contagious positive outlook on life. Orphaned and learning from her adoptive mom Marilla how to lead a more civilized life, Anne’s imagination both gets her into trouble and keeps her head up. She takes her lessons in stride and makes so much progress.

 

Cheers to another great year of reading!

Book Review: The Things You Save in a Fire

15 Saturday Dec 2018

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I received an advance reader edition of Katherine Center’s upcoming release The Things You Save in a Fire from NetGalley.

 

I’m happy to write that this book is the second Katherine Center book I’ve read this year (the advance copy of this year’s How to Walk Away my favorite read this year), and this has lived up to my anticipation. The Things You Save in a Fire follows 26-year-old Cassie as she moves from Austin to a city outside of Boston to reunite with the mother her left her ten years prior. Cassie transitions into a life where she works with a new firefighter crew that vastly differs from her Austin crew and where she has closer contact with her now sick mother.

As a teenager, Cassie learned how to close herself off to protect herself emotionally, and she continues to grapple with those effects as a young adult. She exhibits physical, mental and emotional strength as she lands her spot as the most highly valued crew member. Despite her previous captain’s advice to not show emotions as well as to not develop further relationships with another crew member, Cassie finds herself facing new emotional territory as she works with the rookie, whose status makes his nickname Rookie. This gentleman makes a perfect romantic lead, one admired even by the rest of the crew. While he may seem almost too good to be true, he makes a likeable character worthy of interest; I appreciate seeing a nice, respectful guy receive the affection of the lady. On that note, some descriptions about him or the team dynamics at the fire station get borderline cliché at times. However, the overall story hits a sweet note that has some depth to it.

Though mostly on the sweet side, this story also dives into themes like forgiveness. Cassie and her mom make a good example of how to ease into trust and how seeking reconciliation impacts the possibility of a genuine connection. Through her experiences, Cassie learns how to deal with her past and move on more open to relationships. The story falls short of giving that a full exploration since it ends at the end of the bliss of the first step of healing, an important one but only the beginning. Forgiveness sought and given gets multiple perspectives here, showing each one’s importance. This point serves as a good reminder to all readers.

I have enjoyed How to Walk Away a little more than The Things You Save in a Fire, but both have sealed Katherine Center as an author whose new releases I follow and seek. I appreciate how she’s written characters in my age group and shown positive messages, surprisingly an accomplishment I haven’t seen often. Now I would like to check out her back catalogue.

 

Thank you so much NetGalley for giving me an opportunity to read this book early!

Book Review: The Sound of Rain

04 Tuesday Dec 2018

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I received a copy of Sarah Loudin Thomas’s The Sound of Rain from Bethany House in exchange for a review.

This novel follows a similar structure and theme as numerous other Christian historical fiction stories. While that makes it comforting to follow Judd and Larkin as they both move toward facing fears in their life to find and follow God’s purpose for their lives, it hits the mark sometimes. Part of this might come from the biggest transformation happening in a secondary character when you expect the protagonists to experience the most growth. Larkin’s father serves as both an obstacle to Larkin pursuing her dreams due to his anger and disapproval as well as the person who overcomes those obstacles. His experience indicates a significant change whereas Larkin’s seems more like a revelation. She and Judd both do overcome real obstacles and face difficulties, but they don’t come across as the strong focus.

Despite the sometimes confusing plot structure, the situations still hold relatable content and good lessons. Trust, fear and understanding all play out as the characters struggle to relate to each other while pursuing their direction. Ultimately, the cast demonstrates a tangible hope for reconciliation and healing.

 

 

If you enjoy reading books that have holiday scenes this time of year, this book has a Thanksgiving scene, a Christmas morning and a November wedding. Yet it doesn’t exclusively take place during that time. It gives a nice taste of the holiday spirit without being a Christmas themed story.

Hope Centered

04 Tuesday Dec 2018

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Hope centered

on happiness fails

a faulty feeling

delivery fleeting

 

Bitterness roots

forgiveness heals

not a cure or easy

but better forgotten

 

Good intentions make

a centered goal

but guarantees

no desired result

 

For a heart knows not

complexities of itself

let alone another’s

so judge not unseen

 

 

A heart knot knows naught.

Book Review: Out of the Ashes

04 Sunday Nov 2018

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I received Out of the Ashes: The Heart of Alaska-Book Two by Tracie Peterson and Kimberley Woodhouse from Bethany House in exchange for a review.

This book packs depth and weight of numerous issues while still possessing a strong hope. Though taking place nearly a hundred years ago, the issues resemble common issues today. Katherine becomes a widow and has to deal with the trauma of her husband’s physical and verbal abuse, and Jean-Michel grapples with lingering haunting memories of his time at war in Syria. These lovers find their way back to each other, unsure of how to move forward with their lives and how or who they can trust. During their stay in Alaska, they find new hope as they put their faith in the Lord.

I find it refreshing to see characters new in faith. It shows an honesty in wanting to learn the right way to navigate life, a quest that continues long after that initial decision to follow. I also appreciate that it shows the depth to the difficulties these characters experienced. Their minds have altered due to their trauma, and the reality revolves around a complex healing. While clearly their faith lead to healing, the book shows that their journey holds more complexity than a simple realization.

Not only did the protagonists at the heart of the story and the romance show realistic experiences through authentic characters, the secondary players all provide round out insight into progressing life skills and developing friendships. Katherine makes friends with pregnant Cassidy as she sits on bed rest and Jean-Michel’s sister Collette, and the girls make a nice trio of support. Cassidy’s boss in the hotel kitchen provides some humor as well. This story makes a well rounded and insightful book. I have enjoyed getting an extra dose of hope through these characters’ lives and relatable earnest desire to move forward as best they can despite difficulties.

 

This books marks the second I’ve read by Tracie Peterson, Beloved Hope the first.  Both books come from a series and aren’t the first but can make sense read alone. Now I will keep Peterson on my radar as she seems to write characters who deal with trauma and handles it with authenticity, insight and hope. I recommend her stories from what I’ve read so far.

Book Review: A Borrowed Dream

18 Thursday Oct 2018

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I received a copy of A Borrowed Dream by Amanda Cabot from Revell in exchange for a review.

 

Amanda Cabot shines her love of Texas Hill Country in her book, and her characters find a happy home there. As Austin and his daughter Hannah, and later cousin Grace, move to Catherine’s hometown, family ties develop and deepen. The small town creates a community feel, and Catherine’s connections to it as its teacher make her a good focal point. She both leads the children in knowledge and wisdom and develops her own as she journeys through the mourning period after her mother dies. Throughout the story, themes of forgiveness and trust abound. Cabot captures well the depth of the trials and hurts the characters experience. They experience realistic pain as well as healing.

Some of the painful experiences remind readers of their true depth. When Austin tends to a medical need, he reflects that his physician profession gave him the knowledge to identify internal injuries beyond the physical ones seen by the average person. This emphasizes a need for deeper healing on the part of the patient and understanding on the part of the community of caregivers. Other experiences remind readers of the importance of forgiving and speaking pain. Grace extends forgiveness to the perpetrator of her assault, but Catherine reminds her that by not sharing her story with the sheriff the perpetrator might strike again. Sharing the truth with Catherine allowed Grace to continue healing as she dealt with her turmoil rather than stuffed it. It also helped others stay safe. As this novel explores, a person’s painful experiences have a much greater depth than what the eye beholds. Healing must go deep, and it involves sharing and voicing the struggle with a trusted confidant.

Overall, I enjoyed this story. As I got further into it, I found myself attracted to it more, not wanting to put the book down and contemplating it while not reading. Though the characters hold an authenticity and their experiences seem realistic, it almost had too many situations during the last quarter. Perhaps removing one would have allowed greater exploration of a couple of the issues. As it stood though, I still appreciated the attention given to their depth. I enjoyed the characters and their stories, and I appreciated the overarching themes of healing and peace.

Pathways to Purpose

15 Wednesday Aug 2018

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I do not stand where I would like in my life right now. My job does not progress my career path, my city leaves a lot desired, and I hold back on pursuing most my goals due to my own self doubt. Yet I can take small steps to guide me back to my purposeful path.

These days I spend a lot of my free time volunteer tutoring at a couple places in town. Those classroom hours boost my confidence that I do belong in such a setting and that I do in fact help others. It also gives me more experience in my field. Not having a job there at the moment need not stop me from getting that face time with students.

Neither this town nor this state fulfill what I imagine for where I would live long term. However, it has surprisingly offered places that fulfill some of my needs. Not only have I found several classrooms to assist, I have found ministries to aid in my own life. A local church offers free counseling, a service that helps me stay on track healing without putting me further in debt, and that same church has started a support group where I’ll meet other women in similar situations as me for the first time. Hope exists everywhere, and I can heal in this town as I plan and conquer my next step.

I have a long way to go in conquering my own self sabotage and doubt. This involves undoing walls I have put up nearly my whole life to keep others and myself out. Clearly it will take a long time to undo and rebuild. Yet it can happen. I can make the most of my situation, continue lifelong healing and progress as I grow.

My situation right now may not exist as I want or as it should. Yet each opportunity I have can get me there slowly. I must keep my eyes open for those chances and make the most of them. The majority of a situation may not fulfill needs or progress a path, but what we do with the parts within our control can make a difference in steering and following the right path.

Book Review: Becoming Resilient

10 Tuesday Jul 2018

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I received a copy of Becoming Resilient: How to Move through Suffering and Come Back Stronger by Donna Gibbs from Revell in exchange for a review.

This book covers a lot of necessary content for my life. Walking through numerous topics related to suffering, Gibbs offers explanations, examples and sound biblical advice. The format follows the same flow each chapter, making it easier to know what to anticipate. Various phases of feeling stuck feel less cumbersome when explanations and hope exist. It also makes the sufferer feel less alone to know these problems have persisted since biblical times. Then the chapter endings with their Victory Verses and reflection questions, provide support to the reader as starting points for healing and recovery. Overall, the book offers hope and a platform for transformation.

I have read this book slowly to fully soak up all the information, and I have saved the reflection questions to continue to evaluate my healing process. The background gives me confidence of its biblical foundation, and the information is accessible. Now I just need to adopt one of Gibbs’s Victory Verses as a mantra as  I continue moving forward with this as a tool for transformation.

This Is Us: “Deja Vu” Invites Pain to Experience Healing

23 Monday Oct 2017

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The third episode on this season’s This Is Us invites viewers to experience “Deja Vu” of their own past pain. Each one of the Big Three experiences a new layer of the loss of their dad as they embark on new parts of the personal journeys. Though the tragedy happened while they were teens, they still feel the pain. As Sylvester Stallone (playing himself) wisely points out, “There is no such thing as a long time ago. There’s only memories that mean something and those that don’t.” While Randall and Beth’s new foster child clearly shows signs of pain in her not so distant past, a lot of pain lurks below the surface where others can’t see easily. In all cases, we see a need to face the grief (or pain) and that it requires talking about it.

Jack continues to fight his alcohol related problems, which in the previous episode we see him literally fight at a boxing club, and he points out how going through AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and talking about his issues prove difficult for him. He knows his wife Rebecca stands by him and wants to partake in his recovery, yet he finds it hard to share his pain with her. Grown Kate and Kevin have an argument over neither one having talked about their dad’s death since they were teenagers. Kate, Kevin and Jack all take the first step of facing their grief and reaching the relief on the other side by recognizing they need to discuss their pain. Kate tells Kevin that she saw a counselor at her weight camp, and there she learned that she couldn’t talk about her father’s death. She now sees that not doing so is “like taking in a breath and holding it for the rest of your life.” By the end of the episode, she and Kevin make up, knowing they need to talk through their grief. Jack shares a similar conversation with Rebecca. We see him struggle to tell her what he experiences going through the AA program, but he finds the words to say that he struggles with it and that he wants to keep telling her and will over time. All the Pearsons exemplify how the healing and recovery processes are a journey and take time.

Meanwhile, Randall’s household grows both in number of occupants as well as in experienced pain as his family welcomes a teen foster child. During her first night, she has an argument with Beth, and we witness her flinch when Randall appears in the doorway to check on them. We don’t know her past yet that might have caused such a reaction, but it becomes clear that her history involves pain (and highly likely abuse). In her case it seems obvious due to the severity of her reaction to Randall, but those roots of pain don’t show themselves so obviously in everyone. Again, we see issues taking root from childhood. Like the Pearsons, she took on some pain and coping mechanisms at a young age. She too will have to undergo a healing process, hopefully with the Pearson family by her side.

One key aspect all these characters have in common in their childhood homes with Pearson parents is their known safety. Also, despite the circumstances, they clearly know their parental figures love them. Even those enduring healing and recovery find love, security and hope through their connections to each other. Jack finds the courage to stand by Rebecca and finish their date night with added intimacy after he shares his struggle with her, Kevin calls Kate to make up (she easily agrees) after their “twin fight” and admits he needs to talk about their dad, and Deja illustrates her high need to recognize her pain and need to heal when she slams down Randall’s family photo as she storms out of the living room.  The family members stand by each other.

As AA (or Celebrate Recovery) would point out, the first step to recovery is admission of the need for healing. These characters show how that helps them move forward. They also show that a long time ago does not guarantee healing. Not all may flinch like Deja does, but they show a need to face their grief and pain. Jack perfectly captures that struggle as he shares his difficulty in talking about his struggle. People commonly have a hard time confessing their pan to others. The Pearsons show the importance of holding onto their support system and persistently pursuing the next step on the healing and recovery journey.