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Kayla's Only Heart

~ Always learning. Always progressing.

Kayla's Only Heart

Tag Archives: foundation

The Little Paris Bookshop and The Big Structure Workshop

09 Monday May 2016

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in books, Essay, Uncategorized

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adventure, book, book review, books, characters, foundation, goals, Goodreads, healing, insight, life, loss, Nina George, progress, reading, results, routine, story, strategy, strength, structure, The Little Paris Bookshop, writing

Yesterday I finished reading Nina George’s novel The Little Paris Bookshop, and for the first time I gave fewer than three stars to a book on Goodreads. While the story had some insight into loss and the healing power of books, it had no strength. This came from a lack of structure. I pointed to Jean finding Manon, additionally letting go of his lost love in the process, as the overarching story goal. Yet even he didn’t seem to pursue that objective very strongly. He went on a mostly aimless adventure and made friends along the way. The added characters provided some color, but the lack of transition from scene to scene did not. Those poor people had no foundation upon which to stand.

This reminded me of how I ought to adjust the pursuit of some of my goals. Not having set times and strategies for tasks like job hunting and novel writing made it take even longer to get started, let alone see my desired progress. If I tightened my strategies with definitive times rather than as soon as I can, I could see better results. My high aims for my routine, my writing, my career and my life can stand better on a solid structure. It also would make it easier for others to grasp beneficial ideas and insight from my structure and what’s built into it.

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Knitting My Community To Surround Myself With Goodness

07 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal

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alone, basics, community, company, coping, cure, demons, depressed, depression, foundation, friends, goals, goodness, misery, purpose, support, surroundings, writing

Misery loves its company, and those demons in the back of my head try so hard to accompany me in my depression. The more time I spend alone, the stronger their presence. I need moments to myself to recharge, but my current situation calls for a rearrangement of such occasions. I have to take extra effort to surround myself with my supportive friends and to sort through my closet of thoughts (in public places). Strangers and close friends alike form my support group. All I need to do is knit them together to keep me wrapped in goodness.

Right now, I’m sipping coffee at the Dunkin Donuts across the bridge from my apartment. I have taken advantage of people who care about me and the comfort of strangers’ presence this evening. A friend from church met me for coffee to discuss our mutual struggle and to encourage me to keep utilizing my positive coping skills, particularly writing and exercising. I called my brother while I ate dinner, and he gave me that final push I needed to face the cold weather to get here. Now I sit under the florescent lights and predominantly orange walls turning my words into action. The radio plays peppy Top 40 music while the workers take care of their closing routine behind the counter. Those simple sounds remind me I am not alone.

All I’ve needed to do is take advantage of these people and places readily available to me. My church friend, brother, and numerous close friends have reminded me that I can call on them any time. My friends even put together two birthday dinners in honor of my birthday last weekend, because they love me and walk alongside me. I simply need to coax myself into making those contacts when I’m down (and in general) to keep me in community. Then I can take a short trip down the road to meet my thoughts in a public place where I can discuss them on paper. Now I really know I won’t be alone.

These people and places alone don’t “cure” my depression, but they give me a starting point. It takes constant effort to progress, and I still aim for a lot of goal fulfillment in the near future. Taking care of my foundation and basics will make it possible to tackle the rest. I know I am meant to live in community, meaning with other people and not the depressing demons who threaten to haunt me. I am a little more needy than usual right now, but I trust that my interactions and writing still serve purpose. In misery’s company, we still find goodness in community.

Home Is A Stronghold

24 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal

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autonomy, busyness, foundation, goals, happiness, home, independence, independent, job hunt, life, priorities, progress, pursuit, real world, routine, schedule, success, triumph, work

As you may have guessed, I have a lot on my plate right now as I chase my dreams. I am still searching for my new home and job to feel settled. This quest accompanies my everyday maintenance tasks as I keep my independence. Two goals exist, closely related. My confidence to conquer the potential rejection falls back on the security I have in myself. Right now that rests in how much my home feels autonomously built.

Goals to settle in a home and progress a career cost money, involve multiple steps, and involve a commitment of time and effort. My main items take the most dedication, and I have realized I can help myself by momentarily focusing more on one item. Settling into my own home again takes a load off my plate. It also makes it easier to throw myself into my dream goal as I stand on my independent foundation.

Sometimes I have to remember to work from the ground up. Creating and maintaining the framework makes it possible to accomplish my bigger goals. So for now I continue to apply for jobs, but I need to make sure I square away my apartment arrangements. Comfortable within my strong walls, I can reach out knowing I’m okay.

That leads me back to my autonomous routine where I can more confidently venture into my community. So far I’ve scoped out a church to try and continue to tackle the job front. I’ve even found myself social engagements for a couple weekends recently.

Like everyone else, I have to make a way for myself, and I am the one who best knows how to take care of myself. So far I’ve managed my own household for a few years successfully. Changes have happened recently as I have jumped farther into the “real world,” but I should rest in the framework I’ve developed. I may not build all the furnishings beautifully upon first try, but I will continue to triumph in the progress. Here’s to making a home where I thrive after work!

Flashback Friday: “Bigger Than My Body” Above The Pavement

04 Friday Apr 2014

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Essay

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Bigger Than My Body, change, dreams, encouragement, Flashback Friday, foundation, growth, hopes, John Mayer, music, risk, success

We all want to soar when it comes to life to dreams to love. In “Bigger Than My Body,” John Mayer declares, “Someday I’ll fly/Someday I’ll soar/Someday I’ll be/So damn much more/’Cause I’m bigger than my body/Gives me credit for.” Let us not forget that we have the ability to soar and that others possess this potential as well. Keeping this bigger picture in mind helps us reach our goals and encourage others as well.

Often times we hold ourselves back because, simply, it’s easier to accept the status quo. Most people understand that the rock stars we hear on the radio, the anchors we see on TV, the best-selling authors we read exemplify rare cases. Yet the poets who share their pieces with writing communities online also find success. They take the first step toward flight. Maybe it leads to a full-blown writing career. Then again, it might never lead to any published work. Emerging from their shell, no matter how slowly, marks the path to success.

Mayer points out the possibility that “Maybe I’ll tangle in the power lines.” Lifting ourselves from our foundation involves more risk. Obstacles surround us overhead, and the solid pavement remains below. It provides stable ground, but it also hurts as a landing spot after a tumble. The firm aspect serves as the core or the heart of the quest, the “more to learn.” We can always stand on this soil.

Then we can “shed this skin I’ve been tripping in/never to quite return.” For we continually change as we grow into our new found successes, even if that entails healing from scrapes or bruises along the way. Let’s stretch our wings as they allow to see how we soar. Remember there is always more than what meets the eye as we don’t see one’s full reach in one glance.

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2xUs

12 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

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foundation, heart, home, Home Depot, home improvement, house, love, love poem, poem, poetry, Valentine, Valentine's Day, work

I dedicate this year’s themed Valentine poem to all my friends at Home Depot.

 

You’ve got the tape measure

To size us up

With the figures sure

Our heart fits in our chest

 

So we draw the marks

In all the spots

As a nail parks

Our structure holds together

 

You hold the drill

The power’s in your hands

To keep our hearts alive still

Our beat’s as sound as level

 

We get all the parts laid

And dwell inside

where our love is made

Our house builds around us

 

It’s 2xUs forever long

Hands joined in strong embrace

In a power hold

Our heart is our home

Waiting

03 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

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Tags

building, career, development, foundation, growth, plans

Where am I to glow

Waiting for the cock to crow

Just tell me where to go

I’ll leave if you say so

 

All I need is a sign

Before I lay it on the line

To maintain a fruitful vine

Make Your plan mine

 

I held on too long

Clutching the throng

So that I might belong

Until I said, “I’m strong”

 

It happens to us all

In ways great and small

The job ends at a stall

Better view standing tall

 

What we see here

Is what we all fear

No foundation, we disappear

But I rise on a new tier

 

For where I stand

Below is more than sand

Because what I have planned

Coincides with God’s grand

 

You have used me to sow

The seeds that will grow

No matter where I go

To share the love You bestow

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You can't make advances if you don't take chances. These posts share my perspectives of my journey as I step forward, walking in the Light.

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