• About

Kayla's Only Heart

~ Always learning. Always progressing.

Kayla's Only Heart

Tag Archives: focus

A Winsome Woman’s Wisdom: Anna Fitzgerald, Sister Keeper

31 Wednesday Oct 2018

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Uncategorized, Winsome Women Wednesday

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

angst, approval, decisions, focus, goals, Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper, progress, support, teenagers, wisdom, women

The girls in Mean Girls wear pink on Wednesdays. Though we think we leave drama and teenage angst behind when we graduate high school, the world continues to hand us lemons. We still struggle with maintaining a firm foundation of our values, discovering our identity, pursuing our purpose, developing relationships and more. The teenage angst lives on; therefore, we can still learn from young adults as they come of age. Let’s take a look at some ladies as they’ve forged their way into adulthood.

 

Anna Fitzgerald exists because her parents specifically created her embryo as a donor match for her older sister Kate in Jodi Picoult’s bestselling novel My Sister’s Keeper. The story follows Anna’s attempts to make donor decisions herself by filing a lawsuit against her parents. Her whole life has involved huge procedures all chosen for her; those also make it difficult for her to live life normally, almost as though she had leukemia too. Like most 13-year-olds, she feels unsure as she navigates making choices for herself, especially when tension arises due to her parents not agreeing.

In some ways, we all can relate to Anna in our desire for approval. We all seek approval from our parents, our peers, our friends even as adults. Yet we forget that we need not live by their standards. Even Queen Elizabeth I points this out to her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in The Crown when she asserts that her job requires her to make decisions based on God’s approval rather than the general public. In most cases, this would follow the wiser direction anyway considering the unapproving parties tend to not have expertise in the field they project their opinion. Mrs. Fitzgerald unquestionably cares about her daughters, but she doesn’t have the expertise to understand what will happen to Kate or Anna if they follow through with a kidney donation. In fact, the doctor said Kate had passed the point in renal failure where it would benefit her. Anna seeks counsel and help from experts, despite not having her mother’s approval.

While we want to live at peace with those around us, it serves us all to stand on our proper foundations to make our decisions rather than sway to gain temporary approval. It also does us well to seek counsel from multiple sources. Chrystal Evans Hurst wisely encourages readers to gather multiple types of people for your support team in She’s Still There, including a mentor figure ahead of you on the same career path and a friend who cheers you on by your side. Having a firm foundation and a support team makes it easier to keep moving forward and stay focused on your purpose.

Desiring approval comes naturally. So does the angst felt when we don’t get it. However, we can continue forward with strength and purpose and do better than if we allowed ourselves to waver. We have support around us to give us the guidance and encouragement we need to make progress. Making decisions doesn’t necessarily get easier, but we can rest assured knowing we base them on truth.

Lent Reflection: Meetings

18 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Essay, Journal, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Celebrate Recovery, Christian, Christian living, Christianity, church, community, depression, fasting, focus, friends, God, grace, growth, healing, hope, Jesus, Lent, light, meetings, perspective, recovery, scripture, stability, structure

Lent started just over a week ago, and today I start a new project of sorts to give me a better focus on God during this special time (yes, it’s okay to start late). Rather than fast from a particular food or activity during this season, I typically carve out some extra time to focus on God by using my spiritual gift of encouragement. This project I’ve mentioned involves taking that in a different direction. I plan to carve out time a couple times each week to reflect on my healing, how God has fulfilled it. For me, that is best done through writing or journaling (which I already do on a daily basis in the interest of maintaining my overall health).

The past couple weeks, I’ve contemplated the importance of regular meetings. “Meeting” can allude to an array of subjects to discuss at said gatherings. While I have noticed that having regular meeting times provides my life more structure and meaning, I have also contemplated the effect of regular meeting times for worship and community with God’s family.

In college, I found it easier to manage my symptoms of depression, anxiety and PTSD.  I created a routine and stuck to it, successfully accomplishing my goals to regularly exercise, pray, have mealtimes with friends, maintain my leadership position at Campus Christian Fellowship, attend worship services throughout the week and complete my school work and projects. I felt good about these tasks and my activities; I felt connected and enriched. I could see my growth. I have only recently noticed the pattern of meeting in the context of worship and spiritual growth having a significant role in keeping my focus and perspective on track. I was regularly reminded of Scripture and how God’s love fulfills it on a daily basis. I also met with a counselor and mentor to help me apply that to my life to keep my focus on the light rather than the darkness that tends to hover around me. All those meetings took up a considerable amount of time, but they made it possible for me to continue moving forward, and, most importantly, in the light.

The transition from college to the so-called “real world” can prove rough for everyone. Fortunately, I know I am not alone. Several friends have shared my struggle in finding a meaningful job or selecting the direction they want to take their careers. Transition of any sort has its difficulties. I just can’t help but see the importance and benefit of transitioning into more meetings to maintain the structure and stability of corporate worship and community. Even someone at a recent support group meeting mentioned how attending three different support groups every week for a while made it possible for her to step away from her destructive path; she even emphasized that continuing to attend meetings (this is more than fifteen years later) keeps her on that track. Sadly, as this same person shared, she’s been around long enough to see people get sober from drugs for years and then go back once they stop attending meetings. We all need constant meetings to keep our focus and accountability in perspective.

That brings me to a new goal. The past several weeks, I have adjusted my schedule to make it easier for me to regularly attend the church service where I feel most comfortable and the Celebrate Recovery program I feel most at home. Even a couple weeks of attending both meetings gave me a better structure and a sense of stability to keep me on track to progress my healing. I know I will add more meetings, but that gives me a good start. I can also rest assured that both those meetings maintain a focus on God’s grace and love.

 

Lent is a time to fast and focus. God can use focus and perspective through meetings to keep us on track. What meeting can you commit to attending, even just during Lent to give your time to improve your relationship with God and your life?

 

Braided Efforts

10 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

action, childhood, decisions, development, evaluation, experience, focus, goals, hair, progress, style

20131010-231440.jpg

Today I braided my hair; I figured it was about time I learn how to pull my hair in a decent braid. Hairstyles never really came easy to me. Yet I hadn’t ever put much effort into developing any skill. In middle school, my best friend and I got ready for dances together, and she curled or flipped out my hair. I maintained a pretty plain hairstyle, relying on the cut and simple maintenance to provide an adequate look. During my first summer after college, I finally felt like I successfully curled my hair. It still hasn’t turned out exactly with the curls I desired, but I learned how to change the style to an extent. Today I decided I would progress my braiding skills so I could have another way to pull my hair back besides a ponytail. It just takes a decision, practice, and evaluation.

No one started out knowing how to braid hair; no one began a career with all the necessary skills, let alone at the desired level. Some aspects had to be learned during the course of action. Girls learned how to braid their hair by braiding their dolls’ hair, their friends’ hair, their own hair. The first attempts may have included stray hairs, loose braids, unproportioned sections. Yet each attempt provided practice that led to better looking braids, even if some never progressed much beyond what looked similar to others’ early attempts.

I didn’t braid my dolls’ or friends’ hair much as a kid. That led to the current level of inexperience. Yet I began concentrated efforts to change that, at least in terms of braiding. Hair never was my forte and probably never will be. Yet I can learn how to attain a couple basic looks if I desire. I just have to practice. The basic procedure for creating a braid has stayed with me. My hair hasn’t been braided in years, but I’m changing that. Now that I have long hair again, I desire to wear more styles.

The same idea applies to other skills, some of which may be better suited for me. I have other talents, ones I’ve already advanced and others I haven’t developed much yet, I’d like to bolster. I just have to decide my goal, take action, evaluate my efforts. This includes making tangible writing goals like a regular blogging schedule and tasks to ultimately complete my novel and publish articles and includes determining my career aspirations and mapping the steps to attain them. I noticed with the braids that it’s easier to make something happen when you start with a small, basic step. All I had to do was braid my hair this morning. I ended up with some loose strands on one side; I lovingly named it my messy braid. I gained the knowledge to start the braid a little higher next time. I took action, practiced, and evaluated. I can adjust my next attempt. I can braid my hair.

0.000000 0.000000

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 891 other followers

You can't make advances if you don't take chances. These posts share my perspectives of my journey as I step forward, walking in the Light.

Recent Posts

  • Book Review: Marilla of Green Gables
  • Book Review: Because of Winn-Dixie
  • Book Review: Keeper of the Lost Cities
  • Book Review: Love Lettering
  • Book Review: The Widow of Rose House

Categories

  • Beauty
  • books
  • Essay
  • Journal
  • Monday Motivation
  • Photography
  • Playlists
  • Poetry/Lyrics
  • Reading Recommendations
  • The Great American Reader
  • Uncategorized
  • Winsome Women Wednesday

RSS my weekly nail creations

  • Starlit Darkness 
              As it felt like I continued to fall deeper into darkness, I reminded myself to keep dreaming positively. My stars matched my pajamas to encourage my sleeping dreams as well.  The following weekend I ventured out with my friends to attend a Taking Back Sunday and The Used concert. Surrounding […]
    KaylasOnlyHeart
  • Falling
          These plain manicures go back to the fall. The season marked a time of change and a new look at my world. Perhaps the perspective in what I held in my hands stole some of the focus and expression I would normally have for my nail art.  I went from a bold […]
    KaylasOnlyHeart
  • Plain Sparkles
    After the Top Shelf plain manicure, I had another plain one with some sparkles added. I just didn’t feel spirited enough to enjoy my me time. I still made myself go through the motions though. I might not have been applying makeup regularly, but I kept my nails polished. The little touches kept me from […]
    KaylasOnlyHeart

Facebook

Facebook

Twitter Updates

  • It always feels good when a student likes my class so much after their first lesson they sign up to do a second one the same week. 16 hours ago
  • "Can I write more of my story for homework?" I love to see students engaged with their imaginations and excited t… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 days ago
  • I read Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory goodreads.com/review/show/33… 6 days ago
  • 5 of 5 stars to The Jane Austen Society by Natalie Jenner goodreads.com/review/show/33… 6 days ago
  • I read Silver Sparrow by Tayari Jones goodreads.com/review/show/34… 1 week ago
Follow @KaylasOnlyHeart

Goodreads

No Instagram images were found.

RSS Pendey in Kensia

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.

Blog Stats

  • 9,438 hits

Blog Stats

  • 9,438 hits

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy