22 Wednesday Apr 2015
Posted in Poetry/Lyrics
Tags
depression, experience, Haiku, life, NaPoWriMo, pain, perception, poem, poetry, suppressed, wounds
Perception of wounds
Experienced suppression
Creates constant pain
12 Sunday Apr 2015
Tags
affection, book, Christian, Christian living, Christianity, emotions, experience, expression, faith, inhibition, life, Living in the Freedom of the Spirit, pain, reaction, reading, shame, Tom Marshall, wound
I, like many others, tend to bury my negative emotions. In some ways, I was trained never to express such sentiments. While the intention for me to inhibit these expressions has good thought, not dealing with them leads to further pain. I currently experience present pain as a result of past pain. This makes it difficult to simply “get over” those situations. Now I learn that fully experiencing these emotions plays a central role in unraveling the shame associated with them and conquering the subsequent fears. Then I can continue moving forward in a positive manner.
I encourage you to allow yourself to experience your emotions so they can come and go. As you do this with me, pay close attention to your reactions. Keeping your perception and emotion rooted in truth plays a key role in not letting the negative experiences leave a festering wound. Understanding the way you filter your feelings may also help you uncover how you express affection and realize how to inhibit that less as well. Properly handling reactions and emotions will help us grow positively rather than stagnate in pain.
*reading reflection on Living in the Freedom of the Spirit by Tom Marshall
10 Thursday Oct 2013
Posted in Journal
Tags
action, childhood, decisions, development, evaluation, experience, focus, goals, hair, progress, style
Today I braided my hair; I figured it was about time I learn how to pull my hair in a decent braid. Hairstyles never really came easy to me. Yet I hadn’t ever put much effort into developing any skill. In middle school, my best friend and I got ready for dances together, and she curled or flipped out my hair. I maintained a pretty plain hairstyle, relying on the cut and simple maintenance to provide an adequate look. During my first summer after college, I finally felt like I successfully curled my hair. It still hasn’t turned out exactly with the curls I desired, but I learned how to change the style to an extent. Today I decided I would progress my braiding skills so I could have another way to pull my hair back besides a ponytail. It just takes a decision, practice, and evaluation.
No one started out knowing how to braid hair; no one began a career with all the necessary skills, let alone at the desired level. Some aspects had to be learned during the course of action. Girls learned how to braid their hair by braiding their dolls’ hair, their friends’ hair, their own hair. The first attempts may have included stray hairs, loose braids, unproportioned sections. Yet each attempt provided practice that led to better looking braids, even if some never progressed much beyond what looked similar to others’ early attempts.
I didn’t braid my dolls’ or friends’ hair much as a kid. That led to the current level of inexperience. Yet I began concentrated efforts to change that, at least in terms of braiding. Hair never was my forte and probably never will be. Yet I can learn how to attain a couple basic looks if I desire. I just have to practice. The basic procedure for creating a braid has stayed with me. My hair hasn’t been braided in years, but I’m changing that. Now that I have long hair again, I desire to wear more styles.
The same idea applies to other skills, some of which may be better suited for me. I have other talents, ones I’ve already advanced and others I haven’t developed much yet, I’d like to bolster. I just have to decide my goal, take action, evaluate my efforts. This includes making tangible writing goals like a regular blogging schedule and tasks to ultimately complete my novel and publish articles and includes determining my career aspirations and mapping the steps to attain them. I noticed with the braids that it’s easier to make something happen when you start with a small, basic step. All I had to do was braid my hair this morning. I ended up with some loose strands on one side; I lovingly named it my messy braid. I gained the knowledge to start the braid a little higher next time. I took action, practiced, and evaluated. I can adjust my next attempt. I can braid my hair.
23 Tuesday Jul 2013
Posted in Journal, Photography
Tags
blog, boombox, Cameron Crowe, experience, friends, In Your Eyes, John Cusack, movie, music, perspective, Peter Gabriel, Photo, photography, quotes, relationships, Say Anything, social media, song, stereo, trial and error
Last night, my friend Hannah and I finally got to watch Say Anything together when we had a dinner and a movie night at my house. Hannah was cool enough to go along with my photo idea and posed with me in the vein of the iconic image of John Cusack’s character Lloyd holding his boombox over his head.
Hannah caught several good quotes from the Cameron Crowe film, including, “The world is full of guys. Don’t be a guy. Be a man.” My favorite came at the end of the film when Lloyd and Diane were sitting on a plane together on their way to Europe so Diane could attend a prestigious school. She pointed out that no one thought their relationship will work out, to which Lloyd wisely replied, “No, but you just described every success story.” I needed that advice for my own life, a reminder that trial and error, a conscious effort, leads to success.
Sometimes, as Diane illustrates as she dates Lloyd, we face adversity in how others view us, our relationships, our jobs, our situations. We satisfactorily progress these facets of our lives when we consciously move forward. Diane and Lloyd don’t start off together. Lloyd and Diane go on their first date because Lloyd asked her out and because she agreed to go. They continue to get closer because they learn through trial and error how to best relate to each other as Lloyd teachers Diane how to drive, Diane discloses her family past, Lloyd declares his love. For a period of time, Diane breaks up with Lloyd. The relationship rekindles after she breaks up with him because he tries every venue to reunite; he leaves numerous voicemails, and he plays their song (“In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel) from a stereo he holds over his head outside her work window. Both sides of the relationship faced disbelief and discouragement from those closest to them. Yet they still continued with their trial and error to find out what they needed in a relationship and how to best reach those goals.
A lot of trial and error stands before me, but what matters is I see the overall picture of what I want to do. I must step forward to accomplish that. Not all steps will lead to immediate success; some initiative, to gain experience and exposure in social media for example, will not get the desired results. I plan to try my hand at writing posts about beauty. It can lead to an ultimate career at a business like Julep where I can share my nail art; I may also realize I will never be cut out for that writing even after practice. I won’t know if that’s another potential style for me until I do it. My experimentation with photography will yield similar prospects. I must take the camera out and use my keen eye to point and shoot. I will continue to learn how to consider angle, lighting, composition; a lot of that will result from me moving the camera in my hand to see what happens. As always, I will take some bad pictures, sometimes getting no good shots in a day; but, as I see what works, I also see what does. All I have to do is take the camera out when I see a subject I want. Trial and error will lead me to success. With the ultimate goal of shining Light, it’s hard to fail so greatly I can’t continue or make a speck of difference to someone along the way, sharing the wisdom of trial and error experience and the ultimate success it I’ve seen.
