Tag Archives: culture

Winsome Women Wednesday: 13 Going on 30

24 Wednesday Oct 2018

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The girls in Mean Girls wear pink on Wednesdays. Though we think we leave drama and teenage angst behind when we graduate high school, the world continues to hand us lemons. We still struggle with maintaining a firm foundation of our values, discovering our identity, pursuing our purpose, developing relationships and more. The teenage angst lives on; therefore, we can still learn from young adults as they come of age. Let’s take a look at some ladies as they’ve forged their way into adulthood.

 

Thirteen-year-old Jenna Rink seeks acceptance into the popular clique The Six Chicks in the Jennifer Garner starring movie 13 Going on 30. When she wakes up in her 30-year-old body after making a wish to be “thirty, flirty and thriving,” she sets off on a journey to learn what really matters in friendships, career and life. She lives in her fantasy where she became the leader of The Six Chicks, a leader at her favorite fashion magazine and the girlfriend of a popular hockey stud. Yet as she ventures deeper into her superficially successful life, she learns she got there by abandoning what truly mattered to her. She learns some of the acceptance she received didn’t bring her the satisfaction she sought.

Rather than accept superficial approval as young Jenna Rink does, we too can stay close to our values. Jenna ultimately decides to make the right decision regarding her friends and career and starts to build a better foundation. She even reconnects with her family and decides to visit more often again. Fortunately, a movie allows a chance for a happy ending. Jenna eventually goes back to her 13-year-old self and chooses her best friend and future husband over The Six Chicks, and the movie hints at a happily ever after.

Jenna got to where she was at 30 due to a series of decisions. Clearly, she didn’t start there as we see her in a different scenario as a teen. We too don’t get into our messes by single choices. Most the time we get there unintentionally. For example, no one who struggles with a drug addiction says, “I’d like to be addicted to drugs and see what kind of ruination it can bring. I think I’ll try meth today.” In turn, it takes a lot of small decisions and adjustments to get back on track. We can choose what we value and base our goals and everyday decisions on that foundation. This keeps us on track for a more fulfilling life.

 

What choice can you make today that will help you stay on track?

 

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Book Review: Interpreter of Maladies

03 Wednesday Oct 2018

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Jhumpa Lahiri’s Interpreter of Maladies took me on a tour of human emotion and experience and Indian culture when I read it for the Modern Mrs. Darcy Book Club earlier this year. I enjoyed each short story in this collection. Though they only show a glimpse into each character’s life, I got a good sense of their depth. Lahiri gave me insight into the experience of holding two cultures as part of your identity, and it showed the importance of connection and community. I highly recommend this book for not only an enjoyable read but for a way to gain a greater understanding of situations you may not experience yourself so you can have a greater empathy when you meet someone who has.

Winsome Women Wednesday

19 Wednesday Sep 2018

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The girls in Mean Girls wear pink on Wednesdays. Though we think we leave drama and teenage angst behind when we graduate high school, the world continues to hand us lemons. We still struggle with maintaining a firm foundation of our values, discovering our identity, pursuing our purpose, developing relationships and more. The teenage angst lives on; therefore, we can still learn from young adults as they come of age. Let’s take a look at some ladies as they’ve forged their way into adulthood.

 

My best friend (since high school) and I recently have read Gayle Forman’s Just One Day for a buddy read. Allyson finds herself exploring Europe after her graduation, a gift from her parents to help her gain some cultural experiences in the great wide world. There, she meets a boy acting in a street Shakespeare company. Mirroring the comedy’s mixture of romance and comedic deceit, Allyson finds herself wondering where she bases her identity as well as what happened to Willem after he disappeared.

As Allyson begins college, we find her facing many familiar dilemmas for a freshman. She decides to go by Allyson again rather than the identity she tried in Europe at the insistence of her high school BFF, and she finds herself not performing well in her classes. After a meeting with her guidance counselor, she drops her science classes she took to pursue a career as a physician, a dream she later realizes is a fulfillment of her mother’s, in the interest of trying a couple new classes. Shakespeare enters the scene again as she joins a literature class where she meets her new friend Dee.

Dee contrasts Allyson as he changes his mask to match each person’s assumptions of him. Eventually, they discuss which of them truly know themselves and feels comfortable in that identity. Allyson finds herself doing well in her new classes and finally discusses her wants with her mom. As she moves forward communicating her needs and goals with those important to her, she finds an anchor for herself. Her relationships become closer and more genuine, she makes her decisions based on her values rather than someone else’s expectations and she meets her goals even if she experiences setbacks.

Unfortunately, most of us still struggle to find, own and present our true identities to those around us. We face expectations based on our roles, and we want to please others. Yet everyone ranks what they value a little differently. When we make our decisions based on what most matches our values and goals, it makes situations unfold a lot smoother. So take some time to consider how you would rank your values and then hold your dilemmas up to them. It might make it easier to move forward.

Book Review: Stay with Me

18 Tuesday Sep 2018

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The Modern Mrs. Darcy Book Club has read Stay with Me this year, and we have had the pleasure of author Ayobami Adebayo joining us for our discussion. This book packs on weight as it gives readers a glimpse into the depths of another culture. It follows couple Yejide and Akin as they navigate the familial and societal pressures of not having children. As the story progresses, they each experience heartache as they fall under the expectations surrounding them and manipulate what they tell themselves about their fates and flaws.

This novels enlightens readers on the expectations of family that sometimes leads to polygamy in Northern African and Middle Eastern cultures and the weight of those decisions on the wives and husbands involved. It also shows the struggle of Sickle Cell Disease, a common health issue in Nigeria and one that affects the author. The characters give an authentic voice to these issues and remind readers they have more complexity than they appear. Universal themes of heartbreak, family tensions, marriage hopes and health obstacles give a relatability to a seemingly vastly different culture.

The characters, as many of us do in real life, must adjust their expectations of their lives and marriages as well as filter the advice they receive through what they know themselves. Yejide eventually learns that her childlessness actually stems from her husband rather than herself. Yet she didn’t want to believe her husband had flaws, especially since he didn’t voice them himself. We see the realization of Akin’s observation early in the book that “even when it’s in a thousand pieces around your feet, that doesn’t mean it’s no longer love.” Their love and lives bend as they experience loss and setback, but they still maintain a certain hope.

I really appreciate this book. The characters demonstrate a lot of depth, and their situations enlightened me to more human experiences. Adebayo clearly writes about Nigeria and Sickle Cell Disease with authority, and she shares her knowledge and wisdom so we can gain a greater understanding of those topics. It gives me more insight into the background of some of the students I teach. I recommend this book as a good story as well as a tool for learning.

Book Review: Mrs. Oswald Chambers

02 Monday Jul 2018

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I received a copy of Mrs. Oswald Chambers: The Woman behind the World’s Bestselling Devotional by Michelle Ule from Baker Books in exchange for a review.

This book provided great insight into the life of a well-respected Christian writer, his marriage and the fruit of following the path God sets. Oswald Chambers’ work would not have gone as far as it has without the dedication of his wife Biddy. She attended Oswald’s lectures and took meticulous notes, which she ultimately used to produce the popular devotionals. While that aspect might have seemed fairly straight forward, I didn’t expect the time the family spent immersed in the military culture and Egyptian culture while stationed in Egypt. The book also gave context to other literary figures of the time. Surprisingly, I related to hearing mentions of Agatha Christie, C.S. Lewis and more, and I loved to see she adored her daily trip to the mailbox as much as I do. Biddy Chambers had a unique strength, and she demonstrated the power of what God can do through someone who devotes her time and effort to following the path He has set before her. Without her dedication, those books would not have been printed, and they would not have changed so many people’s lives.

I enjoyed this book and its insight into a person, a marriage and family, a writing process and life in general. Though Biddy lived many years ago, a lot of these situations exist for people now. She served as a model for how to interact with those around us and how to follow God’s will and discern His purpose.

The Ebb Tide Book Review

17 Wednesday May 2017

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I received a copy of The Ebb Tide by Beverly Lewis from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for an honest review.

This book introduced me to Beverly Lewis as well as Amish fiction, and I’ve enjoyed my first encounter with both. Twenty year old Sallie made a good protagonist to demonstrate a healthy curiosity for the wonders of the world around her. Her situations in the story served as good examples for people exchanging culture and living peacefully together.

Sally’s background differed from mine a lot, ranging from her having ten kids in her family while mine had two to her family living the Plain lifestyle while mine lived a pretty Christian and mainstream one. However, I could relate to her wanting to experience more than what she knew. I too spent my young adult years reading books to learn more about cultures and places. We both also got to reach our dream locations, hers being the beach and mine being London. Then it seemed like those trips led to beginnings of a greater enlightenment of the world and other cultures.

Sally lived with a family for the summer who did not live the Plain lifestyle, and she got to see more modern tools like iPhones, Google and a washing machine. She noticed how the family who hired her didn’t look at her or treat her differently because of her attire but also noticed how they had more material goods at their disposal. Later, she met a nice young man who shared a similar family background but differed. Sallie’s life really flourished in many ways through her experiences as a nanny in a beach area summer home.

Overall, I enjoyed the book. I liked learning more about Amish culture, and I appreciated how it showed a positive way to learn about other cultures through genuine interactions with others. Sallie also demonstrated a healthy yearning to learn and experience those cultures and learn about the world and its people.