Tag Archives: change

Slow to Speak

02 Sunday Dec 2018

Posted by in Poetry/Lyrics, Uncategorized

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It’s easy you see

to spot my needs

name that change

toss those seeds

 

It’s hard to plant

in infertile ground

growth needs more

in  order to abound

 

Faith gives more

than surface deep,

knows heart’s deceit

yet a hope can keep

 

So consider needs

for a fruitful life

stay slow to speak

to avoid more strife

 

We all know Job

and his friends

who spoke no truth

through limited lens

 

Hurt is complex

builds strong roots

consider the depth

shaking in my boots

 

You speak no harm

when you listen

let the trust come

as tears glisten

 

Then you can see

how to adjust

what fruit comes

after the dust

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One Season

12 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by in Poetry/Lyrics, Uncategorized

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spring is coming

but summer never left

heat makes constant presence

a blanket of too heavy heft

 

magnolias bloom white

blossoms big and wide

no new color, no new life

no lush green on this side

 

April waves roll on the beach

I let the water wash me

praying my season to change

salt of the earth to be

 

Provision in Transition

03 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Journal, Uncategorized

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I recently moved south. My dad and I packed up his truck and a trailer and hauled all my precious belongings on the twelve hour drive to my new location. One of the biggest struggles involved getting my head around the fact that I would have to do it all again once or twice more within a year or so; I never liked change, especially big ones. Yet there I was facing multiple changes in jobs and homes.

This transition period included radical changes in my living arrangements. I now live with my dad, with whom I haven’t lived full time in nearly twenty years, and I have 75 percent of my belongings still in the garage. Separating from my book and movie collections, among other staples of my routine, proved difficult. The first week when I stayed at his old house had me living from my suitcase and unpacking my anxiety over the upheaval. Then I moved to the townhouse and got my clothes in the closet how I would at home. My sense of stability improved immediately.

At least a couple times a week, I found myself thinking about an item not in the current arrangement. I racked my brain about which box held the coveted item and even occasionally asked my friend who helped me pack about them. Each time I was able to remind myself that my belongings rested safe in the garage and I would have them out in due time when I got a place of my own again. I had what I needed at the moment.

That truth kept me grounded. I missed having my books and movies surrounding me, and I longed to have my place set up exactly as I wanted; yet I had what I needed. God provided me a spacious home, a comfortable bed (in a cool bedroom) and plenty of healthy food. Earlier today I finally noticed the move had made me realize and accept these truths. I caught myself contemplating the security of my phone (with stuff I still need to back up) and my preferred Ink Joy pens. Yet I stopped any anxious thoughts about them and rested in the assurance that God provided what I needed in the moment and that He would also provide provision for my belongings and my future home and routine. I learned it would continue to be a day to day provision and a day to day trust.

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Gray Skies Proclaim Deliverance

10 Sunday Aug 2014

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My morning commutes to work give me time to admire the beauty of the sunrise God paints every morning as He reminds me He has gifted me with another day. Especially this week, I have witnessed the sky’s proclamation of God’s glory. This week maintains such a mix of gray clouds and light reflective of confusion and spiritual warfare in life. My week and weekend has included aspects of both, making the morning skies even more reflective of God’s ever-presence. The gray masses of positive stress adapting to my new job, spiritual warfare experienced by myself and co-workers as we band together to spread the Gospel, and confusion about pursuing new writing goals hover over my head much like the morning’s clouds. Yet light always bursts forth. As Psalm 19:1-2 sings,

The heavens declare the glory of God;

The skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

Night after night they display knowledge.

This emphasizes my personal connection to God’s glory, reflection on it, and my writing aspirations.

This week we have some weather reprieve from some rainfall; this provides more change in the sky as the clouds develop and move. My week has had its share of stress as well, notably from emotional buildup and schedule adjustments. A few times, I have gotten in my car and shared with God that He knew how I felt and painted the sky for me, maybe further pushing me to write about it later. I always note the light coming through the center of a dark cloud or a bright silver lining around a raincloud and am thankful that God is light and that darkness will never overcome that light. Even when the gray clouds merge into one, God will make sense of it all. My biggest example of this comes from the end of the week where the sky was simply gray when I left for work. Just a ways down the road, I noticed the blue above me. I could let go of my confusion because God has already answered my prayers.

At work and in my personal life, God clearly has answered several of my prayers that have been weighing on my heart lately. It seems like as soon as I was more open to letting Him use me and me placing my brokenness and desires in His hands, the more He enlightened me and the more He opened doors for me. These revelations most notably came through encouraging interactions with friends and co-workers.

To give an idea of my heart lately, I have been contemplating several writing projects, healing from heartbreak, settling into my new job, and joyously adapting to my regular working hours routine. Again, this all creates positive stress, but it involves a lot of transition at one time. God has spoken to me through His portraits in the sky (an artistic fitting way for a reflective writer like me) and the conversations I have. A friend of mine has casually told me that I should write the novel I’ve had growing in my mind, just the little push of courage I need to get past my first line I’ve had for a while; my boss has found ways to utilize my writing and editing skills and noted me for a volunteer position with our organization that would get me the media exposure and experience I need; I have been reminded of the continual purpose of certain relationships with people; a couple people I recently met have reached out to me in what might be an answer to my prayer for a mentors relationship. God has reminded me that my heart for Him and how I share His love is a testament to Him and can touch other people; I have even met another person at my work who is helping me find outlets to publish my work. Doors are opening, and God is showing His glory.

What stands out to me most throughout all this is how much God honors our efforts to be open to His plan. One of my co-workers pointed out that we should all know good things are ahead when because some of us were going through some spiritual warfare. She is so spot-on. Just look at how God has delivered me again this week and shown me opportunities to glorify Him. As I open myself to Him and His plan for me, He honors my efforts to share His love, especially as I do that through the support of His body and the power of prayer. Now I pray that God will continue to give me courage and strength to pursue the use of my gifts and that they ultimately point to Him. I lift up the end of Psalm 19, verse 14:

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

Be pleasing in your sight,

O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

to remind us that God holds us firmly and delivers us that we may serve Him. May the skies and the efforts of our gifts proclaim His glory forever.

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Flashback Friday: “Bigger Than My Body” Above The Pavement

04 Friday Apr 2014

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We all want to soar when it comes to life to dreams to love. In “Bigger Than My Body,” John Mayer declares, “Someday I’ll fly/Someday I’ll soar/Someday I’ll be/So damn much more/’Cause I’m bigger than my body/Gives me credit for.” Let us not forget that we have the ability to soar and that others possess this potential as well. Keeping this bigger picture in mind helps us reach our goals and encourage others as well.

Often times we hold ourselves back because, simply, it’s easier to accept the status quo. Most people understand that the rock stars we hear on the radio, the anchors we see on TV, the best-selling authors we read exemplify rare cases. Yet the poets who share their pieces with writing communities online also find success. They take the first step toward flight. Maybe it leads to a full-blown writing career. Then again, it might never lead to any published work. Emerging from their shell, no matter how slowly, marks the path to success.

Mayer points out the possibility that “Maybe I’ll tangle in the power lines.” Lifting ourselves from our foundation involves more risk. Obstacles surround us overhead, and the solid pavement remains below. It provides stable ground, but it also hurts as a landing spot after a tumble. The firm aspect serves as the core or the heart of the quest, the “more to learn.” We can always stand on this soil.

Then we can “shed this skin I’ve been tripping in/never to quite return.” For we continually change as we grow into our new found successes, even if that entails healing from scrapes or bruises along the way. Let’s stretch our wings as they allow to see how we soar. Remember there is always more than what meets the eye as we don’t see one’s full reach in one glance.

Flashback Friday: Beautiful Day Every Day

28 Friday Mar 2014

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I remember when I first heard this song. It’s on the Now 6 CD I bought over ten years ago. The U2 hit still rings true as ever as encouragement to not let the good in each day get away.

This seems like a good reminder for this season as we welcome the return of the green trees, pink and red flowers, golden sun. The days become more aesthetically beautiful, which makes it easier to embrace the beauty of life. We accept the change.

Yet that doesn’t mean the fresh growth is always easy. Sometimes we have to let go of people we love. Other times we have to tackle situations we didn’t expect. We can’t always predict how the seeds we plant might grow.

I have found myself in a new beginning in every aspect of my life, some planned others not quite anticipated. Sometimes it gets discouraging not knowing where my next home will be as I wait for a couple details to unfold. I still have my family, friends, and journal. What makes my house a home travels with me and will settle with me again.

No matter what, it’s a beautiful day. Some sort of flower always blooms. Take notice of the good and don’t let another day in your life get away unnoticed for its beauty.

Welcome To All Things Inbetween

02 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by in Journal, Photography

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As you may have gleaned from my allusions to having interviews, starting new jobs, and working at the office, I have dived into a period of transition in nearly every facet of my life. Fortunately, it involves a lot of positive change, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its periodic hiccups or obstacles. I have progressed everything as planned so far, so I thought I’d share my successes and my humorous snags with you today.

To give you an idea of what my situation was like when my job at the office started, I’ll tell you my job and living situations. I accepted a temporary position that coincided with what became my last two weeks at my job in my college’s town. This led me to switching cities (with a three hour drive between them) every few days while keeping up with a 12 day streak of work days. I experienced my first hiccup on the first night, which coincided with my first arrival in my new city.

My mom and stepdad welcomed me into their home as I transitioned between apartments. My mother focused on providing me healthy food and good rest to help with my first week. She even had a nutritive dinner ready when I first arrived. Yet, unfortunately, neither goal was met that night. The first course, the salad sent me to the emergency room. I ended up losing the benefit of the meal and getting to bed late.

 

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Somehow, I felt alive and awake the next morning for my first day at the office. I was also fortunate enough to be handed a coffee mug branded with the company’s name within five minutes of my arrival. That was only the first sign that I had landed in the right place.

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I got right down to work, able to place my mug full of coffee on my desk at my own temporary cubicle. It even had a two screen computer, which proved incredibly useful for my first big project. I was so tickled to be surrounded by professionals as I relished the opportunity to have my own area. Even the little details like coffee pots around every corner and guys in ties walking the halls added to the novelty of belonging in the office.

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Remembering the pressure to sit with friends in the high school cafeteria but not knowing the climate in the professional world, I asked my mom how it looked to sit alone at lunch. She assured me people wouldn’t judge me for dining alone. To my pleasant surprise, I found a book recycling box when I entered the cafeteria to choose my seat. I eagerly sifted through the books, extracting a copy of The Red Tent to take to my table with me. Again, I knew I was in a good place. I also felt just fine having a table to myself to eat and do my own thing.

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By the end of the week, I knew my way around the office and had finished several projects in various departments. My health was in a stable condition after my emergency room visit. I left my temporary job still gainfully employed and with the promise of a full time position at the other office.

I still have a lot of details through which I must sort to get myself settled, but I am well on my way to having a full time professional job in my field and a new home in the city I desired. I am anxious to see how my situation continues to unfold. It will no doubt contain more snags, but I know the bigger picture of my dreams coming true will remain the same.