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Kayla's Only Heart

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Top 10 Books I Read in 2018

01 Tuesday Jan 2019

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in books, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

2018, A.J. Finn, angst, Anne of Green Gables, authentic, best of, books, career, Christian fiction, Circe, classic, connection, dreams, faith, family, Fiercehearted, Greek mythology, growth, healing, high school, Holly Gerth, How to Walk Away, imagination, innocence, isolation, Jenny Han, Katherine Center, kindness, L.M. Montgomery, literature, Madeline Miller, Maggie O'Farrell, mental health, mystery, obstacles, opportunities, perspective, progress, R.J. Palacio, Rachel Hauck, relationships, resiliency, strength, The Woman in the Window, The Writing Desk, This Must Be the Place, thriller, To All the Boys I've Loved Before, wonder, YA

Happy New Year! As we begin a fresh calendar year, I want to share my top reads from 2018. That way we can start our reading lists with good titles and a reminder of the plethora of wonderful reads awaiting us.

 

  1. How to Walk Away by Katherine Center: This book follows a woman my age as she finishes her MBA program. As she anticipates starting her new job and accepting her fiancé’s proposal, her dreams literally go up in flames in a plane crash. Margaret must learn to heal physically, emotionally and mentally as she learns a new way of life and builds new dreams. Talk about a reminder of human resiliency. This book demonstrates hope and holds a wonderful sweetness.
  2. Wonder by R.J. Palacio: This read also reminds readers of human strength. It proves the power of kindness, especially in small actions. Little boy August constantly deals with obstacles in life, some seen by others and some not. He faces ridicule and misunderstanding by his peers, but he maintains strength in character. I highly recommend to readers of all ages as we all need to show more kindness.
  3. This Must Be the Place by Maggie O’Farrell: A complicated family tale, this story delves into the depths of familial relationships. Daniel Sullivan encounters tragedy and triumph as he navigates his life and looks back on his mistakes and accomplishments. Through it all, we see the core of a family and how it holds together, sometimes in unexpected ways.
  4. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han: This YA gem hits the mark! It makes such a sweet, fun story, and it even introduces a character with a Korean background. Not to mention, it involves a teenage girl with admirable qualities (I find it especially refreshing to see a realistic and innocent perspective on sex). The book takes you to the thrills of high school while also exploring the angst and growth experienced during that sometimes tumultuous time. *The movie did a great job capturing all this on screen too. I’d consider Peter for a Valentine nominee this year.
  5. The Writing Desk by Rachel Hauck: This has introduced me to Hauck, and I wholeheartedly look forward to reading more of her books (I have a couple in my birthday book stack). The story goes back and forth in time between two young women embarking on writing careers and struggling to find mutual understanding with their mothers. Each one faces obstacles and yearns to stay true to her values and to develop her faith. The issues are relatable, and the women likeable.
  6. Circe by Madeline Miller: Circe serves as my pleasant surprise for the year. Getting my first deeper look into Greek mythology, I find myself more interested after reading this book. The themes of isolation, abandonment, love, connection and more play out in unique ways. I have enjoyed getting pulled into such a different story and learning some of the characters’ background.
  7. The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn: Finn’s debut also goes outside my typical realm as it fits into the mystery/thriller category. However, to my appreciation, this book doesn’t involve gory violence or other sick scenarios. In an homage to Hitchcock style movies, it explores the real pitfalls of isolation and mental health. It sends a positive message of the importance of connection. Now I want to watch some of the movies that inspired Finn.
  8. Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center: A release coming later this year, Center’s next book continues her sweet stories with positive outlooks. It explores building new relationships and forgiving people who have caused significant harm. Again, it reminds us of the power of human connection and a strength and hope to move forward.
  9. Fiercehearted by Holley Gerth: Gerth feels like a kindred spirit in her devotional style book with short chapters. Each anecdote carries such an authentic tone, and she has a unique perspective always open to learning. Seemingly ordinary details in life become opportunities to grow. She reminds me that God speaks to us at all times, willing to guide us at every step.
  10. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery: I can now say I’ve read this classic, and I love it. Anne has such a contagious positive outlook on life. Orphaned and learning from her adoptive mom Marilla how to lead a more civilized life, Anne’s imagination both gets her into trouble and keeps her head up. She takes her lessons in stride and makes so much progress.

 

Cheers to another great year of reading!

See Me Sparks a Last Place Spot

10 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in books, Uncategorized

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book, book review, books, career, characters, comfort, family, life, love, mystery, Nicholas Sparks, read, reading, romance, See Me, suspense, thriller, writing

I recently finished reading Nicholas Sparks’ second newest novel See Me. Though I consider myself a big Sparks fan, I did not enjoy this story nearly as much as his other books. Seeing him write a story with a greater thriller aspect showed a range in his talents, but the story didn’t get as deep as usual.

The characters were in their mid twenties like me, and I wouldn’t have guessed that. Colin attending college classes gives him a younger aspect, but Maria didn’t seem to hold many similarities to me or any of my friends my age. Unlike most of us, she got right into a good career track and in law, a tough field. To top off the two dimensional characters, the suspense had hit and miss elements. The mystery itself for the stalker had its strength and would have fit into the thriller genre as far as I can tell since I don’t read many books in that genre. However, it took multiple paragraphs to get to an assailant sneaking up to Maria. Even I knew the forthcoming action and didn’t feel added suspense waiting those extra descriptive paragraphs just for the actual event.

I still enjoyed the book and still love Sparks. This book just might rank last in all the ones I’ve read. I suppose one has to land there. It shows Sparks can flex his writing muscles in genres outside love stories, and it demonstrated the power of a close knit family (Maria’s) and how people and look out for and comfort each other.

Happy Birthday Dad

14 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal

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birthday, career, dad, dreams, father, goals, life, relationships, role model, vision, writing

Today is my dad’s birthday! I’m incredibly blessed to have a father who supports me no matter what. Especially after entering the real world, his experience and insight has served as pertinent advise. I merely have begun to scratch the surface of my lifetime goals for my career, writing, and relationships, and his shared vision for me keeps me focused. It’s easy to doubt my potential, and I’ve realized how important it is to surround myself with people who look at me and see me for who I am as well as who I will be. Hearing my dad tell me, “You should find a magazine where you can publish a monthly piece” reminds me that I can have that. All I need to do is put myself out there. Then I can rest assured knowing I’ve taken a step and have someone beside me to take the next one. I am fortunate to have a successful role model who shares big dreams for me and adjusts my focus to realize them.

Happy birthday Dad!

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Team Kayla

02 Wednesday Jul 2014

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal

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career, downtown, frat parties, Kansas City, Power & Light, USA, work, World Cup

I finally made it to a World Cup watch party at Power & Light in Kansas City yesterday, and boy was it fun! Some of the fans’ outfits made me feel like I was at a frat party, but the energy stayed high. I had fun, and it just happened to coincide with a win for myself on the career front. I turned in my notice at my current job and got the details set for training at my next job.

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I don’t normally like to be surrounded by people, but I enjoy the energy of crowds coming together to cheer on a team.

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Speaking of frat boys, this guy reminded me of Zac Efron in Neighbors. He even had the paparazzi surrounding him!

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I, on the other hand, had my friend Nick with me to keep all the passerby at bay.

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In case it wasn’t already evident, I enjoyed people watching.

USA may have lost the game, but they put up a good fight. The game was fun, and I ended the day successful at my goals.

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The Absence Of Success

20 Monday Jan 2014

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Essay, Journal

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big picture, Cameron Crowe, career, Elizabethtown, failure, fiasco, future, loss, Martin Luther King Jr, movie, perseverance, perspective, risk, road trip, smile, success, work

Tonight I have had the pleasure of watching one of my all time favorite movies. In Elizabethtown, Cameron Crowe paints such a beautiful picture of failure and loss. Drew Baylor finds himself facing a failure at work categorized as a fiasco, a failure of mythic proportion, right as he finds out his father has died. By the end, he embraces his carefree, deep spirited love interest Claire’s mantra to “fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you’re still smiling.” It’s all about perseverance to get that success.

While I haven’t exactly faced failure in the same sense and haven’t experienced any significant loss lately, I still want to take that philosophy with me on my journey to improve my career and life right now. Recently, I have interviewed for a position at a company that sounded like a job I’d absolutely love and was in the perfect location. I have since found out that they have decided to choose another candidate. Not having that kind of job secured makes it more difficult for me to determine my living arrangement. All I can do is keep pressing forward, and that’s what I do. Part of that means I have to take a seemingly greater risk by moving prior to landing my dream job. At least I can transfer my retail job to whichever store I choose.

The area I choose may ultimately be the landmark of my “success.” On his way home from his father’s funeral, Drew honors his promise to Claire to take a road trip across the country. As he starts in Kentucky, he visits special places on the way back to Oregon. One place of particular interest involves the music scene in Memphis, Tennessee. The screen shows signs for big record companies and posters with Elvis. He stops to talk to a bar owner after eating a bowl of the world’s best chili. Drew even stops to visit scenes of tragedy, including the site of Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination and the survivor tree in Oklahoma City. This mix of success, failure, and tragedy culminate the movie’s theme that the bigger picture always extends far beyond the scope of a current failure, even beyond a fiasco. As the movie points out, Martin Luther King Jr.’s “death was only the beginning of his success.” Maybe the fiasco at work is merely the beginning of Drew’s success. Either way, he maintains his smile and pursues a relationship with Claire and moves forward after losing his previous job.

I too keep smiling through the potential disappointment of not getting jobs for which I interview. The odds always are greater that I will not hear back from a company after filling out an application, let alone get an interview. Yet the odds only go up when I fill out another one. Keeping a smile on my face, I appreciate the situation in which I find myself and my determination to take efforts to increase my odds and make my environment the best it can be for myself. That perseverance will get me my next job one of these days.

Flashback Friday: Taylor Swift’s “Teardrops On My Guitar”

13 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Essay, Journal

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Tags

career, choices, direction, Flashback Friday, journey, location, mistakes, music, romance, success, Taylor Swift

While we’re exploring new regular topic ideas, let’s start a Flashback Friday series reminiscing on “old” songs and movies to celebrate their entertainment and appreciate their value in thought or message.

We can begin with a peek at Taylor Swift’s song “Teardrops On My Guitar” in honor of Taylor’s 24th birthday today. This tune launched Taylor’s career, building her platform for a nonstop series of hits that preliminary capture the ups and downs of young love.

“Teardrops” shares the pain of unknown, unrequited love. Yet she holds onto the idea of a shared love as it’s “the only thing that keeps me wishing on a star.” Sometimes we have those crushes just to keep up hope for true love. The ultimate goal for the soul mate takes us on an unknown journey. Knowing the standards for what we want helps us seize the most potential options and directions.

Taylor has maintained this in her musical direction as well as her romantic life. She quickly found her niche that continues to make her records bestselling. Her chart toppers range from the highs of love in “Today Was A Fairytale” where she spends a day with her prince to “I Knew You Were Trouble” where she finds herself reflecting on a flame that didn’t suit her. Fully ranging the spectrum, she shows us the journey involves mistakes. Yet maintaining the standard helped her eventually recognize the subpar potential.

We too will make mistakes as we venture into the uncertain paths to our goals, whether career or romantic aspirations. Currently, I face a fork in my personal life with my location and career. Determining the “right” choice seems impossible, especially considering my weakness for making decisions. I can only focus on the goal and hold my standards against my options. “Trouble” moments have an inevitability, but hopefully I’ll ultimately get my “Fairytale.” Either story makes a moment worth sharing. Just listen to Taylor’s albums to remember we’re not alone in the struggle.

Happy birthday Taylor!

I’m aching to live in a city again, and I’m holding the hope of reunification as the teardrops fall on my guitar. I’m exploring the options to get me there.

What’s the reason for the teardrops on your guitar right now?

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Room For Faith

20 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Essay, Journal

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career, Christian, Christian living, Christianity, college, decisions, development, doubt, faith, God, growth, Holy Spirit, Lee Strobel, life, location, seasons, The Case For Faith, truth, uncertainty, youth

I have been reading The Case for Faith lately. In it, Lee Strobel, a journalist who used to be an atheist explores questions of faith relating to creation v evolution, suffering, and more. One of the last areas in which he delves involves doubts. Lynn Anderson, the man he interviews in the chapter “I Can’t Doubt and Be A Christian,” points out a common difficulty with time that influences people’s doubt when prompted to share influences on people’s doubt to which they may not usually be aware. He says,

 

’Seasons of life can make a big difference,’ he replied. ‘Sometimes people are great believers while in college, but when they’re young parents with their second baby and they’re working sixty or eighty hours a week and their wife’s sick all the time and the boss is on their back—they simply don’t have time to reflect. And I don’t think faith can develop without some contemplative time. If they don’t make room for that, their faith is not going to grow and doubts will creep in.’

 

It seems like this fits many season’s in people’s lives, including my own.

My stage in life does not include my own family yet, but I am young. My career is just beginning. I am deciding where I would like to live and what I would like to be doing. Yet I find it hard to find time to reflect or contemplate.

Routine has a high priority in my life. My specific routine has been tweaked to near perfection over the years. Exercise has profound importance for all the health benefits, and I made sure I woke up at 6am during my time at college so I could work out first thing. Then I finished preparing for the day, including having a devotional time before I got started on my other tasks like homework and cleaning. Throughout those years and now, the specific routine has been tweaked to fit my schedule, but the priorities have stayed the same. I know I want to take care of all areas of my health, especially spiritual. That includes having time to reflect on my faith as well as life in general.

A regular prayer time helps this a lot. As I mentioned before, I set aside time every day in college. This keeps my focus on God. Faith implies a perspective on the world shaped by God; regularly spending time with Him keeps my perspective closer to His. I also shared that I rely heavily on my routine to get all my needed and wanted daily tasks accomplished. It has been harder for me the last couple years because of my work schedule. I have enjoyed working two jobs and am relieved to work one now, but I still don’t have a regular work week or schedule. This probably shakes me more than it should. I continually adapt it to each day. In theory I have the same amount of time. Yet I haven’t found my good contemplative times. In college, I would spend a couple hours before each semester reflecting on my goals for the coming semester. First I would go through the more surface level items like the organizations in which I had a role and decided in which ones I would continue to play a part and which I would leave. Then I would make a second list of more broad ideas involving important concepts to me. This involved how I reflected God to other people, how I invested in my relationships, how I shaped my perspective, how I used my gifts. That always reminded me of the bigger picture of God’s purpose for my life during that period. It helped me maintain peace and progress my studies during that time so I could prepare for the next stage.

Here I am now in another busy season. Again, I don’t quite have all the same details as the example mentioned in The Case for Faith. Yet experiencing this uncertainty at all levels has made me organize my life in a way different than my preferred method. I just have to keep going back to what’s important to keep progressing. I want to progress my career and have to make some decisions regarding that because I want to keep developing. The same applies to my faith. Without that contemplation, neither will progress. As Anderson points out, if we don’t make room for it, it won’t happen.

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Waiting Ten Days, Then Ten More

09 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Journal

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career, decisions, family, path, potential, priorities, uncertainty, waiting, wedding

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My mom’s getting married in ten days. Her wedding starts my fall events and holiday season. Yet I’m not ready for any of them. I have my dress and accessories to be my mom’s bride’s maid. I have the weekend off work. Yet I don’t have a gift, and I haven’t penned a toast. Like in other aspects of my life, it seems like I’m waiting for a clear sign that will never appear; I need to make some decisions based on the information I do hold.

I know the wedding is rapidly approaching. For the most part, I have an idea of the course of events during the course of the weekend for the small bridal shower (at the spa), reception dinner, ceremony, and reception. It may be a small, casual affair, but it’s a wedding nonetheless. I want it to be special for my mom even if it seems like she doesn’t want a lot of attention drawn to her and the wedding. This marriage, I have the opportunity to serve my mom and bestow gifts accordingly. I just need to get over the uncertainty I see and decide to do what I can to make it special. Who says I can’t share a meaningful toast even if I’m the only one who stands to speak with a glass of champagne in hand?

The same stands true for my career aspirations. I can’t tell you which company will hire me and for what position. Another fog of uncertainty stands in front of me in that realm. Sometimes it feels like I’m grabbing at air as I reach forward, but as I keep extending my arm I will eventually find something in my hand. Again, I may need to make a decision with the knowledge I do possess. In this situation, I have to evaluate my priorities to determine what will put me in the best environment to meet my needs and desires. Certainly, this entails me moving back to a city. My decision may just have to result from contemplating the potential despite not having definitive plans yet. Either way, they will unfold in time. I just must decide what action to take.

The time to decide starts now. With the wedding rapidly approaching, the final countdown has begun. I must pick an appropriate gift and purchase it. A talk with my brother can determine if we can organize a joint toast or presentation of sorts during the reception. After that my career clock still ticks. While I may not have a tangible date like I do for the wedding, I don’t want the main attraction to pass me because I stood too long in the fog without moving forward. As I keep reaching, I can adjust my angle by making decisions to boost my potential for success.

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Yellow Buggy Road

28 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Essay, Journal

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

California, career, determination, dreams, endeavor, friendship, imagination, Kansas City, memory, New York, travel, vehicle

I enjoyed a new ale in a new mug and some Sara Bareilles music on my stereo while I wrote this. Cheers to the friend who drove the other yellow buggy!

I enjoyed a new ale in a new mug and some Sara Bareilles music on my stereo while I wrote this. Cheers to the friend who drove the other yellow buggy!

 

 

 

 

 

Tonight I decided to try another new drink, courtesy of my friend Meredith. We met up this past weekend when I visited our hometown to sip coffee (or pineapple raspberry Italian soda in my case since I wore a sweater during summer) and catch up. As we discussed what we were up to and where our eighth grade classmates were, we recapped what we had been doing and where we were headed, namely why we and my other friend, her twin sister, Erin were headed to the reality of the big dreams we imagined.

Meredith and I met fifteen years ago when I first moved to Kansas City and were in the same third grade class. We quickly became friends, making a video together with Erin and Erin’s friend Jordan during one of our first sleepovers. Now Erin works at the local movie theater as she develops her own film career, which no doubt will soon lead her back to California.

Even as elementary school kids, Meredith and I dreamed big. We bonded over our shared love of the green jeans we owned in second grade, but we also maintained a mutual desire to develop ourselves and reach those dreams in faraway places. Meredith particularly felt convicted to move back to California where she would be a star, chiefly a singer. It didn’t take us long to decide that when we grew up we would pack up our matching yellow buggies and head to California.

You could argue that we are grown up now that we are both over a year out of college and are embarking on our careers. We both develop our writing and online presence for personal endeavors, and Meredith has even found herself in New York for work. It’s only a matter of time before she finds herself back there on her way to deepening her relationship with the music industry and before I find myself back in a city to widely spread joyful perspectives through writing, social media, and personal interactions.

Meredith recently texted me, informing me that she spotted two yellow buggies on the highway. It brought to mind our young determination, a reminder I needed as I wrapped up my time at one of my recent jobs. Maybe we have had our times recently when we felt discouraged about whether or not we would attain those goals that have traveled with us for so long since it can get difficult to establish a presence. Yet we all must start somewhere. Each of us has scratched the surface in our jobs, paving the way to strong careers.

It may be more likely that Meredith returns to New York to establish herself in the music industry and that I find my way back to Kansas City or another city to grow myself as part of that community, but the dream of packing up our yellow buggies to move to California together remains the same. Even over distances and times where we didn’t talk quite as much, we have still kept in touch. We still share our pop culture references and swap commentary during the MTV VMAs; we encourage each other in our endeavors to write and to succeed.

Fifteen years after we first decided to hit the road with our dreams, we have some good travel stories (even if some are from separate travels and some include seemingly dead ends). The road ahead promises more scenery no matter the direction or destination. Here the vehicle of the dream will determine the route and success along the way. Our articles, books, albums, record productions, and more are our yellow buggies.

To see more about my friends Meredith and Erin click on the links below to read their blogs:

http://theressomuchtosmileabout.wordpress.com/ {Meredith}

http://roamin4happiness.wordpress.com/ {Erin}

 

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Waiting

03 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

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Tags

building, career, development, foundation, growth, plans

Where am I to glow

Waiting for the cock to crow

Just tell me where to go

I’ll leave if you say so

 

All I need is a sign

Before I lay it on the line

To maintain a fruitful vine

Make Your plan mine

 

I held on too long

Clutching the throng

So that I might belong

Until I said, “I’m strong”

 

It happens to us all

In ways great and small

The job ends at a stall

Better view standing tall

 

What we see here

Is what we all fear

No foundation, we disappear

But I rise on a new tier

 

For where I stand

Below is more than sand

Because what I have planned

Coincides with God’s grand

 

You have used me to sow

The seeds that will grow

No matter where I go

To share the love You bestow

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You can't make advances if you don't take chances. These posts share my perspectives of my journey as I step forward, walking in the Light.

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