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Kayla's Only Heart

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Kayla's Only Heart

Tag Archives: anxiety

Monday Motivation: Specifics

29 Monday Oct 2018

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Monday Motivation, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anxiety, Christian living, depression, goals, hope, mental illness, Monday Motivation, roots, truth

After reading Max Lucado’s Anxious for Nothing (review here), I have contemplated a bigger picture lesson of his insight to request help and to specific clear requests. Numerous people have offered their help when they’ve noticed I’m struggling, but neither I nor them end up making specific requests or offers in most cases. As numerous articles about how to help someone fighting depression point out, sufferers tend to not ask for help. So while the person offering to help does so with good intentions, those might not land anywhere without specifics from either party. This also happens in recovery of mental illness and substance abuse if issues remain vague rather than specific.

Much like with relational communication, when it comes to anxiety and depression, vague and unclear assessments make it difficult to move forward. Unfortunately, these symptoms create a cloud that makes clarity difficult. As we can recognize the symptoms and go further to acknowledge the roots, we can make it possible to specify causes, needs and goals. We can recognize anger, acknowledge it and then specify the cause. That makes it possible to deal with it and move on rather than bury it and let it grow roots of bitterness. It also allows us to communicate specifically in prayer. A named person and sin lifted in prayer gives us an opportunity to see grace at work as we forgive and experience peace. We can even learn to specify what triggers anger, anxiety, depression, etc. to face each one with detailed goals rather than a vague hope for improvement. Once we know what ails us, we can work with managing the details.

Anxiety, depression or any other mental health issue has a complicated and difficult journey for healing and management. Yet as we seek more understanding and can see details, we can make specific adjustments and requests. Acknowledging a need for help makes it possible to request it, and recognizing each issue makes it possible to manage it. An experience, feeling or thought noticed, specified and managed rather than buried makes it possible to diminish it rather than grow its own roots and negative fruit rather than let us stay grounded in truth. We have access specific insights into the truth. Therefore, we can conquer specific issues and meet specific goals.

Book Review: Anxious for Nothing

26 Friday Oct 2018

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in books, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anxiety, Anxious for Nothing, book review, books, calm, Christian living, community, development, goals, Max Lucado, mental health, peace, purpose, support, worry

Max Lucado’s recent book Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World offers a biblical starting point for understanding and handling anxiety. Though he doesn’t delve into the science or psychology angle much, he does provide scriptural evidence for how we can handle it, and most importantly recognizes that it exists.

At times I found the book too simple, but it does at least acknowledge that anxiety does not have a simple solution. Lucado describes, “This business of anxiety management is like pulling stumps out of the ground. Some of your worries have deep root systems. Extracting them is hard work. In fact, it may be the toughest challenge of all. But you don’t have to do it alone” (76). Most of the book seems to better apply to worry, a much more common affliction and one with a simpler solution. Yet this reminds readers that anxiety goes deeper and involves hard work to conquer old roots and then develop new ones. Lucado also reminds us that we need not face worry or anxiety alone.

With a loving community providing extra support, it makes it possible to conquer anxiety. As we navigate the roots on this journey, we can learn how to communicate specifics about our concerns as we pray, whether related to anxiety, worry or any other topic. When we can acknowledge our request or difficulty, we can start to put an accurate description on it. Then we can seek help from God as we voice it as well as communicate our needs to others. In turn, we can all support each other in the details of our everyday lives as we pursue the bigger picture of our purpose. Peace can replace this anxiety as we acknowledge concerns, voice specific requests and focus on the truth.

I recommend this book as a starting point for acknowledging worry and anxiety and starting to confront those thoughts. Anyone can benefit from double checking what occupies their mind. We can all use a little more peace, and we all have access to it and the ability to adjust and develop our roots.

Something Real, An Authentic Book

23 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in books, Uncategorized

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Tags

angst, anxiety, authentic, authenticity, book, books, depression, dysfunctional, family, friends, healthy, Heather Demetrios, read, reading, real, roots, Something Real, support

Yesterday I finished read Heather Demetrios’s Something Real, a real gem of a book. Despite my cousin and me making jokes about me going on The Bachelor to find myself a husband (and shock our extended family), reality TV probably would not find its way into my life whether the camera followed me or I followed the show. However, I could relate to Chloe’s angst over coming to grips with a childhood that caused her angst and anxiety beyond her control.

As a reality star since birthday, Chloe/Bonnie Baker grew up in the public’s eye on Baker’s Dozen with her parents and twelve siblings. The show ended up getting cancelled in her early teen years after her parents got divorced and Bonnie, who later changes her name to Chloe to get distance from her trademarked self, overdoses on medication. She started public school with her brother as a senior, when she chose to start fresh with her identity. However, her mother decided to restart the show in an effort to financially provide for Chloe and her twelve other siblings.

Again, I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to have cameras watching my every move, broadcasting not only my positive moments but all my mistakes. I also couldn’t imagine having that many siblings around, though the thought terrified me. Yet I could relate to a constant angst in my own childhood, the feeling that my parents couldn’t see the pain caused by choices not my own even if made with the best intentions. My parents divorced as well, and by the time I reached Chloe’s age I had experienced that more than once. I also experienced (and still do) anxiety and depression. Those and some of my other health issues heightened some disconnect since they did not always make themselves evident. Unfortunately that disengagement only increased the severity of the problem. Chloe repeatedly expressed her concerns before she made the drastic decision to raid the medicine cabinet. When the show restarted, she again repeatedly voiced her concern, especially as her panic attacks returned. Ultimately, she sought legal counsel to separate herself from a main root of her anxiety.

That break in root was tough. Again, I could relate. She didn’t want to hurt her family, and I never wanted to break mine. As deep as family was, the root of pain went just as far. I admired her bravery and strength to make that cut. The book showed how the pain lingered and how she still wanted her family’s support and connection. They didn’t attend her high school graduation, and that stung Chloe. Yet she knew she had to move forward away from the cameras and therefore the Baker’s Dozen.

This story provided an authentic look into anxiety and other issues related to dysfunctional families. I appreciated how it showed the depth of the roots and how events or specific issues can ripple into other areas of life. It reminded me how important it was to invest in healthy relationships, like the close sibling bond Chloe has with her brother Benny and her group of friends, and in the counsel of experts like Chloe’s counselor and lawyer.

Proverbs 12:25: Kind Words

29 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Essay, Journal

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Tags

anxiety, anxious, bible, catharsis, cheer, companionship, depression, fulfillment, heart, kind words, letters, love language, notes, positive, Proverbs, scripture, story, tears, words of affirmation

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

Proverbs 12:25


Anxiety literally weighs on the heart and body. As my mind races and my chest feels tight and fiery, my body feels crippled sometimes. I may break down and cry, or I may distract myself with a book. Still, the added worry of taking time from my schedule to do such an activity weighs further on my anxiety.

The catharsis of the tears and the story fulfillment and companionship in the book ease some of the nerves. I can get back on track after a time. Yet what brings me up is a kind word. I fortunately am blessed to have friends who speak my love language of words of affirmation and send me texts, cards, emails and phone calls to remind me of my strengths and worth. Even a simple well wish reminds me I am loved and am not alone in my journey. That quiets the unrest in my heart.

It’s easy to forget to remind people in my life how much they matter. Yet knowing I can have the same positive effect on my friends and family’s lives reminds me to let them know I’m thinking about them and care. Just last week a friend sent me a text to let me know how much my letters encouraged her, which in turn cheered me up. We are here to live life together.

Is there someone in your life who might benefit from a kind reminder of their worth today? Can you possibly even offer to help an anxious and/or depressed friend accomplish a task to share some of the physical burden? 

Past Still Bleeds

23 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

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Tags

anxiety, depression, emotion, Haiku, NaPoWriMo, pain, past, poem, poetry, present, wound

Present emotion 

Deeply rooted painful wound 

Bleeding out the past 

Avoidance Sword

13 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

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Tags

anxiety, avoidance, depression, Haiku, NaPoWriMo, pain, poem, poetry, sword

A pain avoidance

Recognizes not the sword 

Killing it slowly

Heredity Awakens

11 Saturday Apr 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

anxiety, change, childhood, depression, growing up, Haiku, life, NaPoWriMo, nightmare, parents, poem, poetry

Worst nightmare comes true

Realizing heredity 

I’m becoming you

Overshadowed

10 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

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Tags

anxiety, dadkness, depression, Haiku, heart, NaPoWriMo, poem, poetry, self hatred, smile

Self-hatred smiles 

No one sees darkness hiding 

Overshadowed heart 

Triggered

09 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

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Tags

anxiety, depression, Haiku, NaPoWriMo, poem, poetry

Defense triggered 

Leg kicking unconsciously 

Bouncing in my seat

Invisible Shame

08 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by KaylasOnlyHeart in Poetry/Lyrics

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Tags

anxiety, depression, Haiku, invisible, lifestyle, poem, poetry, shame

No one witnesses

Invisibility cloaks

Lifestyles of shame 

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You can't make advances if you don't take chances. These posts share my perspectives of my journey as I step forward, walking in the Light.

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